To think he might be sexist/misogynistic?

[MissBanner]

I’m beginning to think a guy I have been seeing might be a bit sexist/misogynistic. A few examples:

1. He showed me a picture of a girl his friend had tried to set him up with. She was quite dolled up and wearing a low-cut, tight dress - obviously about to go out for the night. He said, “She doesn’t look my type - don’t know where she’s been”.

1. Said his ex-wife felt left out of his life because he was so devoted to his job and said “I think it would have been better if we had had a child as she would have had something to do”. (She also had a job )

1. Says he doesn’t like women swearing.

1. Said when he divorced it was hard living on his own as he’d never had to do any cleaning or cooking or anything.

What do you think? Am I being over-sensitive or are these red flags?

Regarding #1, I don’t think he was trying to make me feel bad by showing me the photo of her (it was before anything had happened between us)

Yes he absolutely was.

it was more that he basically seemed to be saying she looked like a “slut” or something that I didn’t like.

Even that alone (which it most definitely is not) is a very good reason to dump him. Run far far away.

Christ op he sounds like a knob, his ex is well rid.

What a dick. You're not being over sensitive, OP, someone who said any one of those 4 things would go down significantly in my estimation, never mind all four. Move on. Your time is too precious to waste on eejits like this.

Do you really need to debate the nitty gritty details op? It all adds up to run away any way you look at it.

This isn't a job interview, where you have to be careful not to discriminate against people unfairly. Any reason or doubt is quite enough reason to stop it dead and look elsewhere.

How can you possibly think you're being over-sensitive?

He's a knob
Don't date misogynists op

He sounds grim.

Shudder.

I'm concerned that your radar for arseholes isn't working. A huge, flashing, wanker sign should have lit up above him, plus sirens and a small blimp passing overhead towing a sign saying, "here be wankers".

I suggest getting it fixed before you assess any more men.

a small blimp passing overhead towing a sign saying, "here be wankers".

😂😂😂

Urgh no. Especially number 1. Disparaging remarks about other women put me off as much as lecherous ones do.

run for the hills!

Unless your future plans include being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, slut shamed for dressing up, criticised for dressing down, never swearing or speaking your mind, doing 100% of the domestic donkey work and deferring to an arsehole - RUN. Tell this utter knob to get the fuck out of your life.

Agree with everyone else - get out fast.
Sounds like a sexist tit.
He''ll be policing your language and checking your levels of 'femininity' before you know it.
And please tell him to 'fuck off' in the style of Rab C Nesbitt.

Get shot of him - quickly.

Another vote for run away and don't look back.

I doubt you're going to get lots of people on here telling you that he's worth a chance/misunderstood/capable of change with the love of a good woman.... because he's not. He's a knob.

Regarding #1, I don’t think he was trying to make me feel bad by showing me the photo of her (it was before anything had happened between us) it was more that he basically seemed to be saying she looked like a “slut” or something that I didn’t like.

It's was crass to show you a picture of another girl. He was basically saying 'look what I could have if I wanted her.'

He's a knob.

He does swear but says he tries not to swear in front of women Well, that's a red flag on its own, as you've identified. He doesn't see "women" as individual people, and he sees them as substandard beings who need to be protected.

Yep, four massive red flags right there. I actually find the third one particularly disturbing - who does he think he is to police women’s language?

What happens if you pull him up on it? Not saying he isn't a complete tool, but it would be interesting to see how he responds if you tell him that you find his comments offensive.

He's literally told you that if this goes anywhere, you'll be expected to do all his cooking and cleaning.

Tell him to fuck off.

areyoufree has a good point.

What would happen if you pretended to slightly mishear and said, in response to number 4, "That's great that you've now had to learn those skills and are willing to use them to support any future partner . . .."