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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

offered money. OLD

68 replies

sonewtoitall · 10/10/2018 17:47

I'm new to online dating, in my late 30s. I'm only on Plenty of fish and Tinder right now as I wanted to try a free site rather than pay for it. So far I'm talking to a few guys, no dates yet as I'm only 5 days into this.
One person has offered me money for sex, he says he will meet me beforehand and if I'm comfortable we can meet in a hotel the next time and I can have someone drop me off and pick me up to ensure I'm safe.
Quite frankly I'm equal parts insulted and intrigued.
on the one hand I'm not ready for anything serious anyway but on the other I really feel like i wasted the last ten years with my ex and finally want to do whatever I want.
I'm wondering whether he's trying to scam me somehow which is what it seems and is this kind of stuff normal for OLD.
I feel like giving up already.

OP posts:
Original poster
sonewtoitall · 10/10/2018 17:52

meant to put this in chat.

OP posts:
MrsPussinBoots · 10/10/2018 17:54

Someone offered me money for sex on pof but I didn't fancy the risk. I don't think it's particularly common and I've also met some lovely guys. Keep trying.

Aprilislonggone · 10/10/2018 17:55

Tied up and murdered in a hotel room sounds fascinating....

Luciferthethird · 10/10/2018 17:56

I've been offered money while OLD it's not unusual and I didn't do it.

thisneverendingsummer · 10/10/2018 18:02

Biscuit Hmm

Original poster
sonewtoitall · 10/10/2018 18:25

he said he would be happy for someone to be there to meet me outside the hotel after.
oh god it sounds so bad that I'm even thinking about it.Sad
I'm just so sick of the way I've been treated and walked all over that I think I should just do whatever the fuck I want for once.

OP posts:
Original poster
sonewtoitall · 10/10/2018 18:27

I've been told I'm very naive and that everyone cheats and it's normal and that's what's happened to me do many times

OP posts:
Original poster
sonewtoitall · 10/10/2018 18:27

naive as in, I'm naive to think it's bad to use people as everyone obviously does

OP posts:
GreenLantern53 · 10/10/2018 18:27

and that includes being paid for sex? each to their own i suppose but Envy (not envy)

NotANotMan · 10/10/2018 18:29

Why are you considering it? Do you think the sex will be fun? (It almost certainly won't). Are you completely skint?

ChiaraRimini · 10/10/2018 18:31

Please don't do this. You sound like your boundaries are all over the place. On line dating is a minefield at the best of times.

VioletCharlotte · 10/10/2018 18:31

I'm sorry you've been treated badly, but selling your body isn't going to make you feel any better about yourself! I'd stay away from OLD and for now and work on building your self-esteem.

GummyGoddess · 10/10/2018 18:33

If you want a ons then go ahead, just don't take money for it.

kaytee87 · 10/10/2018 18:33

Well if you want to be a prostitute and risk being raped and murdered - go ahead

Lifeisabeach09 · 10/10/2018 18:34

If that's what you choose to do and you are safe.
Choose hotel and money upfront.
Naturally, don't set the bar low.

For the record, I've never sold sex nor paid for it but I feel if practised safely and in a situation where no one is being forced or taken advantaged of, I don't see the big deal.

SlowlyShrinking · 10/10/2018 18:36

Are you short of money or something?

Original poster
sonewtoitall · 10/10/2018 18:38

not short of money no, but yes my self esteem is at an all time low right now. I don't want a relationship as such to be honest it's not me to do anything like this and I'm surprised I'm even considering

OP posts:
ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 10/10/2018 18:41

Don't even think about it. Will do your self esteem no favours I imagine

vampirethriller · 10/10/2018 18:43

I was offered money for a handjob when I advertised on Gumtree for cleaning work. Men who offer complete strangers money for sex online haven't got an ounce of respect for any woman. He could easily find someone on escort sites- what he wanted was to shock you and maybe get to coerce you into it as a bonus. I very much doubt that money would be forthcoming if you did meet him.

AbsotivelyPosilutely · 10/10/2018 18:43

God, no!

BigRedBoat · 10/10/2018 18:47

OP I don't think prostituting yourself is going to help your self esteem, maybe try some counselling to get yourself in a good place before pursuing the OLD?

RedHelenB · 10/10/2018 18:48

I would think there's a real risk of date rape here, it would be a false name. Having someone waiting outside won't he cessation protect you. Have you always had a secret hankering to be a prostitute because otherwise I fail to see why you're considering it?

Original poster
sonewtoitall · 10/10/2018 18:49

I never thought I'd be at such a low point in my life to do something as such as this but here I am.Sad
Most of the conversations on OLD seem to veer quite quickly into sexual stuff, it seems only to be me who wants to have a normal conversation.

OP posts:
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 10/10/2018 18:50

This is a common thing, I've had the same and also offers for glamour modelling and escorting. Ignore it, it's dodgy.

SlowlyShrinking · 10/10/2018 18:50

You’re just guaranteeing that you’re going to be having sex with someone who’s got no respect for women and thinks we’re a commodity to be bought and sold. I would say that’d probably make for pretty bad sex.

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