offered money. OLD

[sonewtoitall]

I'm new to online dating, in my late 30s. I'm only on Plenty of fish and Tinder right now as I wanted to try a free site rather than pay for it. So far I'm talking to a few guys, no dates yet as I'm only 5 days into this.
One person has offered me money for sex, he says he will meet me beforehand and if I'm comfortable we can meet in a hotel the next time and I can have someone drop me off and pick me up to ensure I'm safe.
Quite frankly I'm equal parts insulted and intrigued.
on the one hand I'm not ready for anything serious anyway but on the other I really feel like i wasted the last ten years with my ex and finally want to do whatever I want.
I'm wondering whether he's trying to scam me somehow which is what it seems and is this kind of stuff normal for OLD.
I feel like giving up already.

The reason you want to do it is because your self-esteem is low. If it was higher you’d value yourself more and realise this would be a bad move. Please value yourself more than this. You’re worthwhile.

Also the possibility of human trafficking would really scare me.

(Albeit that is rare)

If he pays you, he'll think he has the right to do whatever the fuck he wants to you and put it wherever he likes. You won't be able to say 'no' cos he paid you, right? Sounds rapey as fuck.

Very shallow of me, but I’m wondering why I’ve never been offered sex for money when OLD
There’s good guys out there, I’d recommend delete & block any that are offering this!

Please don’t do this. At best I think it would be a huge mistake for your self esteem, at worst you would be unsafe. You are worth so much more than this, please don’t give up

Ive been used by every guy in my life so far and maybe that's all I'm good for

How about not dating anymore then. Why do you keep putting yourself in that situation.

I’d rather be single.

If they start talking about sex, don't even reply. Block and move on.

You're worth far more than that. Don't lower yourself to that level. It will not make you feel better, you'll only feel worse.

I'm not going to do it.
fwiw all I had messaged him back was to ask why he was willing to pay and why didn't he just ask a girl out instead of offering money then he messaged back with all the stuff about how he would make it 'safe by offering to meet beforehand and with a friend of mine. I haven't messaged back and I will block.
I'm not looking for a relationship I'm just lonely but I think I'll try a friend site instead where I can just speak and get to know new people.
I'm quite broken right now and feeling angry and the replies have made me realise I need to step back and work on myself first

Op I think you should come off old right now and stop looking for dates. You don't sound like you're in the right place at the moment and I'm concerned you'll get yourself into an abusive relationship or allow yourself to be used in a way that lowers your self esteem even more. Right now why not try and improve your social life, take up a hobby, and spend some time on self care? Counselling was the best thing I did for my self esteem but if that's not possible why not check out some books and online resources? You really are worth more than this

I’m so glad you’ve decided not to do it, op. I hope you can start to work on your self-esteem. You don’t deserve to be treated badly

I’m so glad you’ve decided not to go ahead with it. And I think you’re right, you need to work on you a bit

Realistically, I think most men on tinder and POF are just there for no strings sex, it makes it so easy for them, nothing personal to you. You 'may' get a better quality of guy on pay for sites like 'match' but even I remember from being on it years ago you'd get a fair few only interested in sex (maybe they were on a free trial!).

I think focusing on meeting friends is a much better idea, meetup is a good website as has all groups in your area, book groups, restaurant goer groups, even singles groups where at least the focus would be seeing people face to face.

I'm glad to see your update OP and if you're lonely this is not the answer anyway (in fact, you're right that OLD is probably not what you need either, as it's not exactly for the faint-hearted or vulnerable - OLD can be brutal). Have you heard of Meet-Up? There are groups all over the country for like-minded souls to get together and share their interests. You might also want to consider volunteering locally, joining a walking/running group, joining a church or bell ringing group if you have a faith, or even getting a dog, if you like dogs, as I'm assured by my dog-owning friends that it's a very good way to meet people!

www.meetup.com/

I will join meet up as I think that's the best thing to do for me. I need friends to build me up and men keep breaking me down.
I did Go back on to pof to check it and read through some more messages from guys who seem genuine but I think I'll not reply and deactivate instead. I also had a message from the first guy, he now says he will pay me double if I agree. think it's safe to say he's just taking the pisss anyway.
I feel much better this morning, your messages have given me positivity.

I'd swap to a paid site, you'll get less weirdos.

Also try googling for singles events in your area, speed dating or similar?

@sonewtoitall is there any way on the site you can report him? So that he doesn't do it to others. I've never used OLD so I don't know if this is possible or if much would be done about it

I've not had a look littleme. I've been at work but I shall log back in later and check, I was going to deactivate it this evening.