AIBU?
OTT Christmasses - let's fight back!
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 09:50
I have discovered an interesting thing. If you tell the kids Santa has been and unleash them on their presents and chuck them a selection box they are just as happy (if not happier!) than the Christmasses when you grind yourself into the ground and end up in tears.
What can you drop from your Christmas to make life easier and enjoy the day more?
I DO love Christmas, but I think it should be more fun for Mums.
Who's with me?
LittleRedWagon1 · 09/10/2018 12:00
I stopped doing Christmas cards about 15 years ago, it was very liberating. We don't buy presents for all and sundry just the kids, ourselves, Mil and FIL. We don't go crazy buying gifts for our two DC, they don't have massive piles of stuff, never have and never will.
My two closest friends and I go out for a meal sometime in December or January to celebrate as opposed to buying each other gifts.
On Christmas Day itself we do not leave the house at all, and as long as they let us know a couple of weeks before Christmas Day, Mil & FIL have an open invite to spend the day with us if they would like to.
We don't get dressed up, mostly the DC and I spend the day in brand new PJ's. We buy as much of the Christmas Dinner pre prepped as both DH & I refuse to spend Christmas Eve/Christmas Day Morning prepping food! We don't go crazy with decorating the house, we have a tree with general decorations, stockings and a couple of fire place decorations with some added lights. Takes us about an hour to put up the trimmings and even less to take them down.
Christmas was never a huge thing in DH's childhood, they just chilled out for the day 'no keeping up with the Jones'. However, my childhood Christmases were fraught, shouty, passive agressive and everything and everyone had to look just so and perfect. It was fucking awful so I decided when I had children that Christmas Day (and the days surrounding it) would be relaxed, fun and chilled out with no pressure to conform to perfection.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:01
abacucat
We do things that are fun, but I always remind myself it is supposed to be fun, including for me
YES! Exactly, I don't think it's right that everyone is having a good time at someone else's expense. It makes no sense and isn't fair.
I do send cards to some elderly relatives for whom I know it is important
Yes, the things we cut back on will be different for everyone. We don't all need to drop cards, crackers, visits, it's whatever WE think we could do without. That will be different for each family.
It goes back to assessing what WE need from the season. Not what social media and commercialism tries to foist upon us.
missyB1 · 09/10/2018 12:02
One thing I hate is December getting filled up with commitments, work nights out/ visiting family/ visiting friends etc.. I've made it clear it's not happening this year. Ds has a birthday 23rd December and I'm sick of his birthday getting lost in the Christmas madness!
I caught dh inviting friends to come and stay for a weekend in December grrr.... I've told him very firmly that he will have to uninvite them!!
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:05
Snowymountainsalways
Everything you said in your post was wonderful. I so agree!
This thread is a good idea. I am picking up lots more tips thanks everyone
Glad you like it 
I know people groan at yet another Christmas thread, but the idea behind this one was to start it in time so that people could avoid some of their hassles and stresses before they get sucked into the vortex again.
Then maybe next year they will look forward to it instead of dreading it.
Keep those great ideas coming!
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:08
Dontsweatthelittlestuff
Great username!
So far my bags have done at least 3 years and still going strong. I only buy for family so don’t lose bags to gifts given away from home
Going to add that great tip to my arsenal!
I am SHOCKINGLY BAD at wrapping. It's embarrassing and I always use far to much paper. I hate doing it. This will eliminate all that at one stroke AND save money.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:10
RomanyRoots
We have considered xmas dinner on christmas eve, to free up time on xmas day
Sounds good! You can do whatever you want if it works for you.
I believe some cultures do this anyway.
we'll be going to see our eldest who will have a 2 month old, so might cook for them instead
How lovely that would be 
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:12
IdaDown
I might poke my nose in the ‘poncetastic Christmas’ threads over the next few months. Just to gawp in wonder
I feel dizzy and stressed just reading those
Of course, if people are truly enjoying that, good for them, maybe some people thrive on it. I am not built for that level of stress. The older I get, the more I want my life to be simple.
I don't do social media, so have nothing to live up to there either.
abacucat · 09/10/2018 12:13
We only cook Xmas lunch on xmas day. There are nibbles in and a cooked ham, so everyone helps themselves to other stuff if they are hungry at other times - and will get stuff for others.
The xmas tree is decorated with things that we have bought over the years and some of MIL's who sadly died young. It does not look a themed tree, but I love it.
AuntBeastie · 09/10/2018 12:14
I think we should be OTT in a different way. Let’s be OTT in giving what we can to those in need at Christmas. Let’s be OTT in sharing our time in our communities. Let’s be OTT in teaching our kids how to give the gift of their time, attention, skills and empathy to less advantaged people. Let’s be OTT in celebrating the best, most simple, and free parts of Christmas - sharing time with friends and family, viewing the world with a warmer and more forgiving perspective, and belonging to a community. Let’s be OTT in the best ways possible.
Starlings27 · 09/10/2018 12:17
We've been buying for fewer people every year. Last year, I went crazy shopping for DS and he found it overwhelming and it took him days to open it all, so this year I'm going to buy a lot less. He'll only be 4 so he's not going to be comparing with other people or with his haul last year.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:18
Eliza9917
I've got wooden reusable ones but you can't really fit anything other than a sweet in the boxes so that's nice and simple, I'll just get some 'different' sweets from the old fashioned sweet shop
Lovely!
My family are doing a secret Santa and it works out that each household has to buy 2 presents. We set a price limit. We then all buy for the kids and my mum. This is the 3rd year of doing this and its much much better. I tried to start this in DP's family but they don't want to do it
Great idea. Also, you never know, DP's family might come round to the idea eventually.
I will speak to DP about token presents only or a price limit as we are saving for our wedding and to move early next year. The dog will still get a few presents though probably
Yes, the secret is to try and get in early with trying to make these changes before it all spirals out of control for another year.
We also have a dog to please
Good luck with your wedding and move for next year!
Starlings27 · 09/10/2018 12:19
I must say though, I flove Christmas. We'll be decorating the tree as always and we make a big deal out of it. We've just going to spend less and try not to waste food/stuff. We do have a themed tree (red and gold) but some of the decorations are 30 or 40 or even 50 years old, and while I often buy one or two each year, we don't do a different theme every year.
RomanyRoots · 09/10/2018 12:20
AuntBeastie
I agree, I'll be going everywhere in December, I love the late shopping even if I just go for a mooch.
The Christmas markets in Manchester are great and the atmosphere is lovely.
I will also go to watch my dd singing in the Cathedral.
She has an early finish from school the 14th December, so I'm looking forward to a week of baking, watching films, and prepping for the big day .
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:21
LittleRedWagon1
Love your ideas.
Christmas was never a huge thing in DH's childhood, they just chilled out for the day 'no keeping up with the Jones'. However, my childhood Christmases were fraught, shouty, passive aggressive and everything and everyone had to look just so and perfect. It was fucking awful so I decided when I had children that Christmas Day (and the days surrounding it) would be relaxed, fun and chilled out with no pressure to conform to perfection
Yes, this is something to aim for, I reckon. Your kids will have happier memories for it.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:23
missyB1
One thing I hate is December getting filled up with commitments, work nights out/ visiting family/ visiting friends etc.. I've made it clear it's not happening this year
Glad to hear it. I love the thought of people taking a stand on this stuff
Ds has a birthday 23rd December and I'm sick of his birthday getting lost in the Christmas madness!
Same as my mother's birthday.
I caught dh inviting friends to come and stay for a weekend in December grrr.... I've told him very firmly that he will have to uninvite them!!
Glad you have done this, even though he has already asked them. He didn't consult you which voids the invitation We need to be very firm sometimes.
Ratbagcatbag · 09/10/2018 12:27
Mine might not seem a huge one, but I used to spend near enough every weekend doing/booking magical experiences. Some because I didn’t have it growing up, others because it was my first Xmas as a single parent last year. I wanted to keep the magic.
This year I’ve booked Panto and a steam train and that’s it. We’ll do walks, and crafts and things instead. She will do Christmas things with her dad too so she’ll still have a full calendar.
Last year I bought an expensive advent calendar. I’m not doing that again. We have a lovely fabric one that I’ll use again and pop in chocs and hair bobbles.
I’ve really cut down my present list too. Last year I spent around £700 on everyone. This year my target is £500.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 12:29
Starlings27
We've been buying for fewer people every year. Last year, I went crazy shopping for DS and he found it overwhelming and it took him days to open it all, so this year I'm going to buy a lot less
Yeah, it's weird. Your DS will probably enjoy it more by having less. Win-win
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.