AIBU?
OTT Christmasses - let's fight back!
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 09:50
I have discovered an interesting thing. If you tell the kids Santa has been and unleash them on their presents and chuck them a selection box they are just as happy (if not happier!) than the Christmasses when you grind yourself into the ground and end up in tears.
What can you drop from your Christmas to make life easier and enjoy the day more?
I DO love Christmas, but I think it should be more fun for Mums.
Who's with me?
hurricanefloss · 09/10/2018 10:45
I don't do Secret Santa and this year, instead of my co-workers thinking I'm a miserable beggar, they've decided not to do it either - thank you, David Attenborough 
This year I'm not doing Christmas crackers - or Xmas tatters as I oh-so-wittily call them. I will mention David Attenborough if anyone asked me to pull one!
Undercoverbanana · 09/10/2018 10:51
In the last few years I have stopped buying/sending cards - horrific waste of time, money and resources.
Don’t buy extra chocolate/sweets/nibbles/drink. Continue to meal plan as normal. You are still the same person who needs the same amount of food. By all means have traditional Christmas meals but you don’t need crap just because it has holly on the packaging.
Christmas gifts - give people stuff they actually need. DCs get cash - one at Uni, one saving to leave home. DF gets a food hamper with whisky etc that he will use. DM - usually needs something round the house or some new shoes (she had new tyres for her car last year).
DP and I usually put money together for a weekend away in the spring where we do a marathon or similar and do what we really enjoy rather than piles of plastic shit.
I put lights up in the living room but can’t be arsed with a tree and all that malarkey.
I am so over “stuff”.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 10:52
We are also performing the important function of teaching our children (especially the girls) that they don't have to make themselves miserable over Christmas when they have families of their own. Be a good example. I don't think kids want to grow up and realise their parents were secretly miserable at Christmas.
What should I have said?TabbyMumz · 09/10/2018 10:52
Decided this year we aren't going to get up early and rush round visiting in laws...we are going to have a lie in then a lazy day just us and the kids, nice lunch and that's it. No more running round for us. Done it for 20 years. Not doing it any more. If people want to see us, they can come and visit, but they will be told it's short visits only.
adaline · 09/10/2018 10:54
I've never understood making a big deal about Christmas. My parents never did and I never suffered for it.
Santa visits happened at school, normally at the Christmas Fair. Sometimes we'd go to the grotto at the local garden centre as well. Christmas morning was stockings and a chocolate orange for breakfast. We always went for a walk, and then we came home and had bacon sandwiches either watched TV or played board games. Then dinner (late, around 5-6pm), and flopping on the sofa until bed.
My extended family all lived overseas so we never did big family Christmasses. Nowadays I work in retail so my only day off is Christmas Day - there's no way I'm spending it traipsing around relatives' houses. They can come to us if they want, they're more than welcome to come for mince pies but they take us as they find us!
SillySallySingsSongs · 09/10/2018 10:55
We go away day after boxing day and over New Year with family so we don't go overboard with the food.
This year we are doing a Secret Santa with adults in the family. Friends and their DC a couple of years ago we decided to only do birthdays.
Only people I will be buying for will be DSC, DC DH and my parents (but more as a thank you because they do so much for us)
We have a lot of family birthdays around Christmas so it works for us.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 11:00
TabbyMumz
No more running round for us. Done it for 20 years. Not doing it any more
After 20 years, I agree it's YOUR turn now 
So glad someone else will enjoy Christmas more this year as a result of fighting back against some of the silliness.
SillySallySingsSongs · 09/10/2018 11:01
I have a lot of family abroad and it gets harder and more expensive every year to find stuff, wrap and post it. So many restrictions on what can be sent there anyway.
I agree with that. My DSIL and DBro plus their DC live abroad but come home every year in the summer. The way we get around it is we 'pay' for a family day out for us all when they are over here (It's not anything to expensive) and they do the same vice versa.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 11:03
SillySallySingsSongs
We go away day after boxing day and over New Year with family so we don't go overboard with the food
Love it!
We have a lot of family birthdays around Christmas so it works for us
You just reminded me - we have three birthdays around Christmas too!
divadee · 09/10/2018 11:03
We have set a present limit this year for all the immediate family adults of £20 maximum. It got ridiculous and from one branch of the immediate family we ended up with oddles and oddles of crap as they felt it should be a massive pile of presents but no thought on what it actually was. 98% of it was down the charity shop or in the bin before new years. I'm hoping with the limit this will be reduced and people will actually put thought into it instead.
For the kids we are cutting down but when we said about a 20 limit for them everyone got upset. So I have said to people ok but they must try and stick to a list and not buy mountains and mountains of plastic crap for the sake of it. She needs next size clothes and stuff so buy some of that at least that will all be used.
I want a simple lovely Christmas without the debt and worry.
Hideandgo · 09/10/2018 11:04
What I really want to avoid is the kids going and getting boards of gifts in 4 different locations. In my DHs family everyone wants to see the kids open their present from them so I find that everywhere we go bags of stuff is being handed over for days before and after to be opened on the spot. I hate it. In my house, people made sure to drop gifts off in time to go under the tree and nothing was opened early. So we had a lovely time opening all our presents, at our own pace and without being stared at for a reaction. I wonder if I can get this either switched to ‘gifts under the tree for Christmas’ Or at worst, one formal session with DHs family and then everything else under the tree.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 11:07
Undercoverbanana
In the last few years I have stopped buying/sending cards - horrific waste of time, money and resources
I've always hated writing cards for some reason. I can write long letters at other times of the year, but Christmas Cards I just can't get into.
I am so over “stuff"
Yes, I think you can reach saturation point with it all. If you don't enjoy it, there's no point anymore. I agree.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 11:10
divadee
We have set a present limit this year for all the immediate family adults of £20 maximum
Great stuff.
I want a simple lovely Christmas without the debt and worry
You can have this, you really can. It means resisting pressure from others sometimes. Sometimes, it goes smoother than you think. Other times, you need to stand firm. If you can have your wish of a lovely Christmas without the debt and worry though, imagine how you will feel come January. So proud of yourself and relieved. As the years go by, it gets easier and easier to carve out the kind of Christmas you want. People might fuss for a short time, but honestly they get over it eventually.
consuelapipkin · 09/10/2018 11:13
Hideandgo
What I really want to avoid is the kids going and getting boards of gifts in 4 different locations. I hate it. I wonder if I can get this either switched to ‘gifts under the tree for Christmas’
Let's make Christmas 2018 the year you do this.
You could start a thread about that to get ideas or we could discuss it here.
What you describe sounds very stressful. I think as a child, I wouldn't have liked to have to do all that.
I suppose the first thing to ask is - could you get your DH on board with your thoughts about "presents under the tree" only? That would be key, I feel.
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