To wonder would I regret getting a dog?

[Phuquocdreams]

Dh has been talking about getting a dog. I’ve been saying no because of the amount of work, and how it can tie you down. I don’t think he appreciates how much work it is. But then, just for the hell of it, we did some of the quizzes to see what breed of dog they would recommend, and I fell in love with the look of one of the breeds recommended. And now I just can’t stop thinking about having a dog bouncing about the place...and it would be lovely for the kids to grow up with a dog. But...the extra work. And responsibilities, and being limited in our activities...does anyone here regret getting a dog? Deliberately haven’t put this in the doghouse so as to get a wide range of opinions.

Depends on the breed of dog and your personal circumstances.

Depends on the dog.
Puppies are bloody hard work. They can’t be left. At all. They chew. Everything. Even you!
Dogs can’t be left for more than about four hours max. You can’t just have a whole day out without one.
Have you time for walking and training and grooming? Not just at the weekend?
What’s the breed OP? Do research cons as well as pros.

Also just read on a chat board about someone whose 3 year old dog barks to go out at 3am every night and I felt ill. The sleep deprivation my toddler put me through has put me off having another child, I couldn’t go through it again for a dog...maybe for a fixed puppy period but not indefinitely!

The puppy stage is hard. I couldn’t leave mine alone at night or during the day either.
If you have a toddler now then a pup is too much as well.

We got a dog 18 months before DS came along. He goes to daycare every day which isn't cheap. If we go on holiday we are lucky that DH's folks take him. He is very fear aggressive so he wouldn't go into kennels. He doesn't like anyone in the house except immediate family so if we wanted to invite friends over we'd have to arrange for in laws to take him. I worry about that when DS will start wanting friends over to play. Trying to walk him and push a buggy is a challenge! If he hadn't been here before DS I would not have contemplated getting a dog. Having said that, I got my first dog aged 8. Think it depends on how old your kids are.

Are you planning on having any more children? Personally I wouldn’t with a toddler. When your child/children are older I would revisit.

Thing is, if you do decide to get a dog, there's a chance you and your dh will wish you hadn't (when seeing, although they're lovely, how much of a bind they are), but you can't really send the dog back , especially as your dc's will be attached to it.

If you are not 100% committed, don’t do it. I was a multiple cat owner, so thought that having a dog would not be much more difficult. We didn’t have a puppy, too much like hard work, but even though we had an easy dog to look after it does restrict you in ways you don’t think about. Dogs are pack animals, they do not like being alone(mine adopted the cats as her ‘pack’ fortunately) but people tend to ignore this.

I know a couple of friends who, much as they love them, do regret getting their dogs. It's not just a pet it's a whole way of life. Do a pros and cons list. I can't see how the advantages of a dog would outweigh the negatives but I've never had one. You could probably say the same about children!!!

How about a cat? Much easier pets tham dogs. We adopted one at 5 years old and he's just wonderful, we love him to bits. He potters around nd about using the cat flap while we're out during the day then likes to cuddle up with us when we're home.

I would start by going out for walks as much as you would need to with a dog. No excuses, no feeling tired, it’s raining, feeling poorly...one of you goes for a walk. If you go out to work, the walk happens before work. Then what happens at lunchtime? What happens at a weekend when you want to go out for the day? Think of the dog every time you do something now.

Yes you can get dog walkers, or neighbours, or family, but it’s very boring for a dog to be on its own, and you can’t leave it for longer than four hours.

We didn’t have a dog for a year after ours died, and I missed the dog painfully, but at first, I didn’t miss the walks. Life was easier without a dog. After a while, I missed having a dog and we’ve got one again. But I’ve got trouble with my back at the moment, and I’m still walking, much as I’d like to rest, as DP’s shifts mean he can’t do the morning walk.

Can you dog sit for a friend to cover a holiday or something? Have a practice?

Unless you want a dog so badly that the thought of not having a dog makes you feel irredeemably sad, don't get one.

I have dogs for over 30 years, and couldn't bear not to have one. But even so I regret it sometimes: when she wants to go out in the middle of the night, when she nicks my warm spot on the sofa, when I feel like shit and still have to walk her, when it's pouring with rain/freezing cold and I still have to walk her, when she pukes on the carpet, when (despite daily pick-ups) I step in a cunningly concealed turd in the garden, when everything I own is covered in dog hair ....

but I bloody love the little baggage and would rather live on the streets with her than in a palace without her.

I’d really love a dog but I know from colleagues that they are really tying. The idea of never being able to have a day out without them or having to reduce holidays (sometimes I go away for up to a month) makes me realise that it’s not really an option. I’ve had cats in the past and although it broke my heart to put them in the cattery, they are a lot more independent and can happily be left for the whole day.

I do sympathise though. Doggos are SO cute!

I love dogs.

I have owned 4 dogs over the years.

I wouldn't have a dog right now.

They are a great deal of work and trash the house and garden.

Two days after I brought home my 8 week old puppy I sat down and cried my eyes out because I thought I had ruined my life. I was totally unprepared for how much work was involved, and I thought I had done all the research and it would be a piece of cake! Of course, that stage passed quickly and it wasn't long before I wouldn't be without him, and remain so to this day. But yes the puppy stage is bloody hard work: the training, the commitment, the being unable to leave him for more than a couple of hours a day. So yes, you probably will regret it at some point but it's totally normal. Worth it in the long run but ONLY if you can commit to the training and time and effort required esp when they are puppies. Then you will be rewarded with a great dog. If you make a half-arsed effort you will just be making your and his life miserable for the duration.

Depends on your lifestyle. I WFH, so it’s easier to manage and don’t feel guilty if we’re out and about on a weekend morning/afternoon if she has to stay on her own because we’re in so much in the week. My DC are also old enough that going for walks is no hassle and they can be pretty much unsupervised in playgrounds the dog can’t come into, or hold her outside a shop while I pay for ice creams/tea/coffee etc. My parents will usually have her if we go on holiday (unless we go with them! Then we pay).

If you have young children I’d wait a bit, honestly.

Following with interest. We have been thinking about getting a dog but the puppy stage does worry me & we’ve thought about a rescue dog but as we’ve got DCs not sure that would be a good idea. The DCs are older though (10 & 14) but I just know I would get left to do ALL the looking after.

We got a puppy when I was heavily pregnant. Did a LOT of research on breeds, socialising, training, diet, approximate costs etc. So pleased we got a dog but they are a lot of hard work. If you can commit to puppy and training classes, being at home for the first couple of weeks, puppy proofing your house, dog care for when everyone’s out for 3 hours plus and holidays, play time and home training and generally giving a dog the attention they need, plus cover the costs (food, insurance, any dog walking, toys, treats etc) then definitely consider it.

We set alarms at 3 interspersed times overnight to do toilet training in the early days which worked brilliantly, although obviously tiring.

Walk wise even for active dogs puppies only need a tiny amount when they’re growing so no huge romps while they’re little. Conversely dependent on breed even on the most hectic and rainy of days you need to factor in a decent walk for them.

Our dog is such a huge part of our family but they are a huge responsibility. They learn so much of their behaviour in the first weeks so puppies that are handled and socialised at the breeders (along with their mum of course) and see lots of different scenarios once home fare best (stupid things like hats, trains, busy roads etc).

You may find more help over in the doghouse section of mumsnet. What breed are you thinking?

We both work full time but have childcare in the house. Also my dh has irregular hours and might be home during the day/going for runs. And I might be able to work a day a week at home. Once childcare no longer required (maybe 8 years after dog is got - don’t live in UK and you need after school childcare here, probably an au pair), we could supplement with a dog walker. Wouldn’t plan to get dog until youngest is near 4.
Breed is Japanese Spitz. Meant to be great with kids, and is beautiful (shallow I know). Also I don’t want a big dog (only small dogs can reliably be taken on public transport here so we could still have days out without car) and it isn’t a piddley tiny dog so dh should be not too unhappy. Also I’m not v house proud and would be worried about a dog with too much doggy odour - spritzes are apparently quite clean (is that shallow too?) and sounds like they have lovely personalities.

I've got a puppy and an older dog it's honestly fine. Yes it's hard work but they are quite easy if you feed them the right food, put them out for poo and wee often, clear up after them anf keep them walked and exercised. They are great to have around the place. Saying all that though we hardly go away and I work evenings and my dh days so usually there is always some here . My puppy was and is great.

@Turquoisesea
How about a rescue dog that’s been in foster and not kennelled? There are rescues that do this and many offer post adoption support too.

Having a dog is like having a constant toddler in the house except they need more exercise,they restrict where you go and they don't grow up.They need constant attention and walking at least twice a day whatever the weather.
I am a cat person.We used to have a dog,he was lovely buy my now exh did all the walking and was devastated when the dig died.I wasn't.

Not all dogs require a huge amount of walking. I have a shih tzu and she is more than happy with a quick walk around the block once a day, and time to play in the garden. If you walk her much further than that she will sit down and refuse to walk. I’ve carried her home many a time. They are wonderful little characters too and although I’ve had many dogs of different sizes she’s my favourite breed. She’s happy to be left alone within reason, but loves her cuddles afterwards.

We were debating a dog for about a year, both grew up with them, we look at a breed that would be good for dh allergies.

We rescued our perfect dog he was 2 years old so puppy stage was over.

I love him to bits but I regret it, i work from home now didn't work when we got him, but having to do walks everyday no matter the weather when I need to do other bits, the constant crap in the garden, have to go and check everyday before kids go out to make sure I've not missed any (he poops alot) he doesn't molt thankfully as my friends dog is a nightmare and no matter how may times she Hoover's the house is covered.
The smell as well ugh, he goes to the groomers regularly but still smells, or rolling in fox poo on walks, that smell is horrendous. If he randomly gets sick in his bed/house or has a bad stomach. 6 monthly check ups, having to pay a fortune of we go on holiday. And still 3 years later I can't get used to picking poo up it makes me feel sick.
He is a very good dog so we are lucky, but I 100% will not be getting another again.

Having read your last post I wouldn't consider a dog if you have an unusual routine and need care for the dog. And yes your house will be clean but pups especially can be messy. I wouldn't in your situation even consider it.