To wonder would I regret getting a dog?

[Phuquocdreams]

Dh has been talking about getting a dog. I’ve been saying no because of the amount of work, and how it can tie you down. I don’t think he appreciates how much work it is. But then, just for the hell of it, we did some of the quizzes to see what breed of dog they would recommend, and I fell in love with the look of one of the breeds recommended. And now I just can’t stop thinking about having a dog bouncing about the place...and it would be lovely for the kids to grow up with a dog. But...the extra work. And responsibilities, and being limited in our activities...does anyone here regret getting a dog? Deliberately haven’t put this in the doghouse so as to get a wide range of opinions.

I wasn't that sure about a dog - have always been a cat person. But we did the research and got a Westie and have never looked back. I worked from home when she was a puppy though which made it easier. I love being forced out of the house to walk - once you're out you rarely regret it and those pre and post work walks are very good for the soul. When she goes I hope our working situations have changed as it would be difficult to get another puppy but I now can't imagine living without a dog.

What does the childminder think about having to look after the dog???? No way would I have done that when I was a nanny.

I've always wanted a dog, but my parents got one about three years ago and watching how much it has curtailed their lives has been eye opening.

They can't leave the house for more than about five hours without either a) taking the dog with them, b) leaving one of them behind or c) paying someone to come in and walk her. When they got her, they both worked, and they discovered that even a walk morning and evening, plus a dog walker at lunchtime wasn't really fair on the dog - she was spending all day every day alone and she was getting bored and sad. Being alone is really unpleasant for a dog - they have been "abandoned" by their pack and it makes them anxious. (Apparently even owners who are convinced that their dogs are fine alone for a few hours are shocked by footage of how distressed they get).

My parents now holiday in a caravan in Europe so they can take the dog - again, you can put them in kennels for a fortnight, but they don't really like it. It is very stressful for a dog to leave their home and not see their owners, and two weeks is three dog months - a long time to be being effectively "punished".

So on balance, I don't think I want a dog enough to make all the sacrifices that come with it.

I massively regret getting my dog. She has the sweetest nature but the cost and the time and the tie are immense and she simply doesn’t fit with our lifestyle any more. We are now in the very awkward position of knowing it would be fairer to rehome her but also knowing the kids would never forgive us if we do. Def think long and hard before making the decision

I love dogs and was devastated when our old boy had to be PTS. However I can see how easier life has become now. I always seemed to be clockwatching and muttering "We need to get back for the dog," whenever we went anywhere. Walking him in the freezing cold and rain was a pain in the arse and any barking got right on my last nerve.
We now have a little rescue cat and she is brilliant. Virtually silent , very playful and bouncy, likes cuddles and fuss but happy to find a cosy spot to sleep if we're busy or out. Food and insurance costs are minimal compared to our large dog. I'm 100% converted to cats.

Ginger1982 doggy day care every day, in laws taking him so people can come in, people not allowed in HIS home. Fucking hell it's a dog, who's meant to be the boss? If this were a child you were talking about everyone would tell you to grow a pair and discipline them, your dog needs the same discipline!

Dontgivea, unlikely to be the same nanny as it would be in about 18 months time and she will be gone by then most likely! (Though she does have a dog so might be dog-friendly). We would have to make sure that the ad for an au pair made it clear that dog-friendly is required but understand that this might all be a madcap idea because it all depends on an au pair being at home for the first number of years!

Ah, i know that it is wiser not to. It woudn’t be for a while so time for caution to kick in. But then I read about the dog LakieLady knows and have a little dream...
The dog in that dream is not the incontinent, fearful, kennel refusing, child wary dogs referred to by some above, and I guess that could be the reality. Am I mad to think that risk is reduced with thorough breeder due diligence and careful socialization and training in puppy-hood?!

I was desperate for a dog, but had a rude awakening when I fostered a dog for two months, while her owner was recovering from surgery.

I was tied down. When I went out, I felt restricted by the need to get back to her. She was exceptionally well behaved, well trained, didn't bark, didn't act the giddy goat on the lead and you could take her anywhere. She made me laugh and I enjoyed her company - especially the walks

But still, my life changed and my world got smaller in those two months. I realised that I was at a stage in my life where I didn't want to make compromises and I've postponed getting a dog for the time being.

Hi op
Perhaps you could foster a dog for a few months?during the winter months when you have to go out walking in the rain,wind,sleet,snow,freezing temperatures and the dog drags mud into your home.
There are many benefits of having a dog,the unconditional love,the protection,the company,the exercise,meeting new people and going to different places,the laughter at the things they do,training them and the pride when they respond........the cuddles,a law offered when you're feeling sad.watching children play with them,the whole family being involved together in taking him out.did I mention the cuddles?☺
Rescue dogs are the best.
You need to be confident you have the time to walk a dog twice a day,that he won't be left more than four hours at a time.that you can afford flea and working treatment and insurance plus food,initial outlay for beds bowls collar lead,toys,chews,toothbrush and paste,that your garden is escape proof and all of the family is in agreement and you are in your own home not rented.(it's hard to get a rental with dogs)
They are the most fantastic family friends and will return your love 100%...equally will be heart broken if you decide he is too much work and dump him in a rescue.
They are a tie,they are hard work and your cleaning doubles.but they are absolutely worth it.🐕🐶

OP all of this shit sounds absolutely horrific and not worth the effort. Lots of comments from people who love dogs and own them happily. That being said a few things are just fact and this is coming from someone who loves dogs... other. people's. dogs. So here is my brutal and blunt 2 pence that won't end with something like "yeah those points i just made were all terrible things about owning a dog but then pongo just looks at me and I melt"

1. your house will smell of dog, there is no way around this, no matter how many candles, sprays and times you wash it's bed... your house will smell and people will notice this, people who don't go a bundle on dogs will probably also turn their nose up at it.

1a) and be covered in fur. Unless you get a curly dog that looks like a sheep (Aww they are cute though).

2. No more spontaneous outings. Imagine you are meeting with friends and family for an afternoon and one of them suggests "how about we go out for lunch" or "let's head back to mine for a cuppa and let the kids play" or "it's a lovely day why don't we drive down to the coast" and you can't because the bloody dog needs to go out for a poo.

3. the expense, it's not just the food and the bed etc... think about the insurance, the de-wormimg, flea prevention injections/tablets and the training classes. Also you might need a dog walker which is another £10-15 per walk and you might need them a few times a week. Also god forbid you buy a dog and it ends up with something like a heart problem (vets eyes light up, cherrrrching).

4. puppy mess. You cannot get a dog then get right up and go to work the next day, you would need to take at least 1 week holiday and your partner take a week. In the first few weeks they shit and piss everywhere and on anything. You need about 7 million puppy pads for the floor and imagine walking in to multiple puppy poops and wees all over the place after you have been at work 9-5, heck even 9.30-2.30pm, that's a lot of crap to walk in on after a long day at work.

5. Sleep. My friend has a dog, it sleeps on her legs, in her bed, all. night. long. If she puts him in his bed, he cries, all. night. long. Now personally that's as much effort as having a new born baby and frankly, a dog won't grow up and pick my nursing home and make sure I'm taken care of in my old age. Also even toddlers generally snap out of that behaviour when they're 3/4... you might get "lucky" with a dog that lives until its 16, at least a year 11 teenager won't still insist on spooning you. Another friends mum of ours has a dog that barks at random points in the night non stop till you get him something, sorry but no fucking dog is waking me up at 1am, then 3am because it's seen a daddy long legs float by in the kitchen. Oh and again at 5am because it needs a wee.

Sorry that's my personal and very passionate reasons for saying "no dog!!!!"

theOtherPamAyres

That's the thing, having a dog is so restrictive.

Always the need to get back, it prevents a degree of spontaneity, you are always thinking about the dog back home.
If you take the dog out for the day you are restricted by where you go, so no popping into cafes or a shopping if you have a dog with you.
Dogs don't fare well being left in cars, and can overheat even on a cold day if it is sunny- so even trips out are restricted.

Walks with dogs can be lovely , but it can quickly become a chore and downright unpleasant in the winter months, walking a dog in the dark, in driving rain.

I won’t get another dog when all mine have passed. The dog smell, the even worse wet dog smell and the worst rolled in poop dog smell. I can’t have a spontaneous break it involves dog sitters which even though I get for free then involves me dog sitting in exchange. The walking in all weathers. The space they take up. Even little dogs, food bowl, water bowl, soft bed/plastic bed and then a dog crate if you use one plus all their toys around the place. Picking up dog shit. Then they break your heart and die.

I regret my husband getting one. She's 15 months now. the kids aren't fussed by her at all, and they just moan when we have to take her for a walk. It's certainly not the lifestyle I had in mind!

If you can’t take dog out during the day, who will do this? Are you planning to get a dog walker? As the dog can’t be left alone all day. Puppies need to be taken out like every hour minimum for house training. I shared the responsibility with my summer au pair and now I handle puppy on my own at 6 months. She is super easy now and pure joy. My husband will take her out maybe once a day (or as little as twice a week) depending on how busy he is at work. But I love her and love taking her out. Makes me happy seeing her thrive and also great way to get chatting to other people in the park. Can be lonely for sahm while kids are at school.

If you're having reservations now, don't do it. I love mine and they're a good age, not annoying pups anymore, but they do my head in barking at the tv and bloody postman and things they imagined outside.

Don't get a dog if you're not 100% committed. Ours is 8 months old now and I haven't slept past 7am since we got him five months ago. He needs to be let out to the toilet and then he needs breakfast and a walk, else he gets bored, barks and terrorises the cats!

I have to go out and walk him everyday, rain or shine. No matter whether I'm unwell or tired or have fifty million other things to do, he needs his two walks a day.

DH and I work full-time and he goes to daycare three days a week - the other four days he's home with one of us.

He's very hard work and a massive lifestyle change for us but saying all the above, I love him to bits and wouldn't be without him. But he's tiring and a huge commitment. If you're not committed you won't enjoy it. The ideal of walking him on the beach in summer is a rarity - you have to be willing to walk them in the rain, wind and snow, early in the morning and late at night, every day for the rest of their lives.

I love my dog
I grew up with this breed and always wanted one as an adult, I waited until the dc were old enough to cope with a larger breed etc
If I could turn back the clock I wouldn’t have him
He gives us a lot but I think the downsides outweigh the good for me
I wouldn’t go so far as to say I regret getting him but I wouldn’t do it again

I love my two dogs and I’d never get rid of them but when they eventually go to the big kennel in the sky, I won’t get another dog. They are a lot of work.

Here's my two cents fwiw....get a Chihuahua. I grew up with Boarder Collies, as an adult we've had a Heinz 57 and a Frenchie, but my chihuahua is by far my easiest and favourite dog ever.

All dogs are work but little ones seem less so, but are still full of personality. My dogs enrich our family life beyond measure so for us the pros outweigh the cons...and I'm not a ridiculous dog person iykwim. I adore my Chihuahua.

7 years ago we got our first dog, I was worried about the work, mess, smell and responsibility.
Honestly we loved her so much, we now have 3.
They have enriched our lives more than I can describe, they are just pure love and joy.
They make me so happy, they show me how to enjoy life , real life.
It’s such an uncomplicated relationship with a dog, they love you and they make the most of the moment they’re in.
Whatever is going on in our busy family, the dogs are the thing we all have in common.
It’s like any relationship, it grows, it’s work, but it’s worth it.

All of the above. And then I had a puppy which even with helpnfrom vets and behaviourist had so many issues I had to hand him over to a foster mum who was trained with handling dogs like him. Spent months there and then was only re homed to someone who really knew what they were doing.

Not all dogs are jumpy and happy. In fact the last resort was he went for my sons neck. And that was months and months of working with specialist people.

You have to take that in to account when u have small children.

Dog owner here and also ex-fosterer for rescue dogs!

From all your posts, I think you are not a suitable home for a dog right now - especially a dog such as a Japanese spitz. First thing that stands out to me is that you seem to want a puppy rather than a rescue - if you want a puppy, you or your husband (not an au-pair!) need to be home full time for the first 6 months or so, or need to be willing to pay for doggy daycare whenever you're at work. Puppies need near constant supervision and really solid consistency for at least the first six months of their lives (often more like a year!). It is totally different to an adult dog who needs to be let out occasionally and walked - you cannot expect an au-pair to care for a puppy, even if they say they like dogs!

The second thing that stands out to me is that you have fallen in love with an unsuitable breed for your lifestyle. I know you've mentioned the fact that they're very family-friendly but this could be said of almost all breeds. The reason I say they're an unsuitable breed for you is because they're incredibly intelligent as a breed. While this might sound great, what this actually means is that they will need lots of mental and physical stimulation (especially when they are young!) or they will find their own ways to amuse themselves and become destructive. Combine this with the fact that everything you have said suggests that you're out a lot means that you could end up with a very bored and therefore destructive dogs.

If you really want a dog, realistically you need to change your lifestyle quite dramatically so that you have a more suitable home for a Japanese Spitz or you need to pick a more suitable breed/dog (I'd suggest an adult rescue that is 3+ years) and pay for regular doggy daycare/a dog walker.

Also in my case I got him from a proper breeder and it still didn’t make any difference. A dog will have issues regardless of where u got them from. I wouldn’t go into this thinking that would make it fool proof.
Sorry. I sound mean. I don’t mean to sound that way. Just easy dogs that just bounce around the house do so because of hours of training and looking after. I used to train mine for hours. Spent ages in the woods doing distraction training. Not sure kids will want to do that. Even then. After everything. And the hours and hours of training I did. Made no difference. Bomb proof dogs are not common. Most dogs has issues to some degree.

You could always sign up to 'Borrow My Doggy' to take someone else's dog out to trial it. You can do it regularly too, doesn't have to be a one off.

OP it sounds like you are really thinking carefully and not planning into rushing into anything. I have added my thoughts earlier. Lots of the 'I have never regretted having the dog' stories are for people who don't work or work from home or work part time. Given the age of your children and that you both work full time I would not do it. I have always had a dog as an adult
My last dog died a few weeks before my first child was born. I did not get another dog until my youngest was old enough to be left alone in the house and get self ready for school properly. I don't regret getting the dog and she is a fantastic addition to the family. But she does severely limit what we do. And I have parents that live just round the corner that look after the dog anytime we ask. After 5 years I still sometimes forget that I can't go shopping all day and leave her so have to rush back or get mum to go and get her. In your current circumstances I really would not get a dog. Plan for one when the kids are older and you can spend your child care money on dog care. You will have so much more fun.