To wonder would I regret getting a dog?

[Phuquocdreams]

Dh has been talking about getting a dog. I’ve been saying no because of the amount of work, and how it can tie you down. I don’t think he appreciates how much work it is. But then, just for the hell of it, we did some of the quizzes to see what breed of dog they would recommend, and I fell in love with the look of one of the breeds recommended. And now I just can’t stop thinking about having a dog bouncing about the place...and it would be lovely for the kids to grow up with a dog. But...the extra work. And responsibilities, and being limited in our activities...does anyone here regret getting a dog? Deliberately haven’t put this in the doghouse so as to get a wide range of opinions.

OK, I've simply googled Japaneze Spitz to find out more. The first two sites I looked at warned that they can be "inveterate barkers". I also read recently they shed their lovely coat a lot (on your soft furnishings). It also said:

The extra effort on the part of the owner may be necessary to curbing their barking tendencies and will pay off in the long run. They are easy to train when the owner is consistent but need early socialization to avoid taking over the household. They can quickly decide they should be the pack leader if not taught otherwise.
They are surprisingly athletic and do well in agility and other doggie sports. Most of all they like to play, be with their owners and enjoy daily walks.

Sounds to me as though such a dog would need input and serious commitment from you, the owners or it could end up bored, noisy and not very happy. Probably not a good choice, I would think, for someone who didn't really want a dog until you saw what these looked like.

The questions I would ask yourself are:

1. Do you have the funds to pay for the vets, insuarance, dog walking if needed boarding if needed, accessories replacing damaged items (clothes, shoes etc)
2. What would reaction be to the dog chewing through your favourite jumper?
3. A P.P said dogs are a way of life, are you prepared to mainly holiday in UK, swop city breaks for breaks in the country/coast.
4. Are you prepared to stay in often not as nice or substantially more expensive dog friendly accommodation
5. Are you prepared for days out to be limited to a few hours/ pay for dog walker visits/have someone who will look after the dog
6. Depending on breed spend a lot more time defluffing tge house and small children
7. Are your kids old enough to treat the dog well
8. Are you happy to be outside everyday in all weathers
9. Do you have an adequate house/garden to accommodate the type of dog you want

10 how would you cope with behavioural issues like fear aggression? 11. Are you happy to walk for miles on a weekend (obviously breed dependant but our mini schnauzer loves walking for hours each weekend) she’s tiny. 12. Are your family happy with the above too.

Dogs are amazing, I wouldn’t think our family was complete without our dog. You can tell a dog lover a mile off. If you are happy a dog who is generally 50:50 adorable extra child and major PITA could be part of your family for the next 15 year or so (and part of your heart forever) then go for it.

Ime, you will never regret getting a dog.

For me it is like having children, incredibly rewarding but incredibly hard work in the beginning and some nuisance in the teenage years. I couldn't live without a dog but my whole life is geared towards them. My work is almost completely from home, my friends are all doggy people, i wear doggy clothes, my house has been totally dogged. It's a new world and one i prefer but I think some people stay normal.

What I am saying is, it's massive - it's like being a parent or not a parent. I wouldn't with a toddler but others may say differently.

Hi, mrsjoyful, i’ve noted the bit about barking as being a potential problem (actually the main problem). I would intend to put a lot of effort I’m at the start re training (private trainer to help us etc) but know we can’t avoid completely. Re the second paragraph, I’ve done a lot of reading about different breeds over the last few days (I can be a bit obsessional) and that latter bit would be fairly par for the course for most family friendly dogs.

Or maybe I’m just attracted to the intelligent, loving dogs - but they all say to watch out for separation anxiety, so v aware of that issue.

It depends on the dog and your situation.

Puppies are a royal pain: they need constant attention, pee and poo everywhere, chew everything.

I regretted my dog as a puppy, but now love her. If I ever got another dog I would get an older rescue.

I love my dogs more than many people 😉 my first dog breed was carefully chosen as animal and child friendly - and quite happy to sit with her head in with the rabbits and guineas in their pens, yet cannot be trusted with children ever - even when I'm there. There are no guarantees of child friendliness with any dog breed, particularly if you're not an experienced dog owner, if you have young kids it might be worth waiting a while..

I've deeply regretted my spontaneous decision to get a second dog ! I love him very much but blimey is he hard work. he is a breed that needs loads of exercise and stimulation and I openly admit I did not research the breed properly. Having him has affected what holidays we have taken this year, what job I can do ( and severely limits what jobs are available to me ), whether we can have a day out etc. I would just say think very carefully- if you have a support network of people who the dog could stay with or you have reliable dog sitters/ boarders in your area then it might be ok but it does really tie you down. Our dogs are never left for more than a couple of hours but this involves meticulous planning !

We had a rescue dog for 6 months and getting her was one of the biggest regrets of my life, and those 6 months were the worst 6 months if my life.

I've always thought that if you get a pet you commit to it for its lifespan for better or worse, so even when wrd exhausted local options of trainers and vets I didn't let myself consider asking the rescue to take her back. Instead, for the only period in my entire life, I found myself considering seriously injuring myself so Id havd to be hospitalised and shed have to be returned due to my unexpected accident, or leaving my home and never going back. I felt overwhelmingly hopeless alternsting with overwhelmingly angry, and smashed a window on one of the worst days.

When I caught onto the madness of my thinking I did ring the rescue, but it took them 6 weeks to agree to have her back.

We live abroad and were seriously "missold" (not that we bought her but she was misrepresented to us) the dog we ended up with, and she reduced the quality of our lives drastically and made me hate my home. Hopefully rescues in the UK are more responsible.

We'd thought for years about getting a dog and done a lit of research, and I grew up with dogs, but I'll never get another.

I regret getting our dog. It's not personal, I like him, he is very affectionate and good-natured but he is huge, he eats EVERYTHING and is a total tie. I agreed to get him because that's what everyone else in the family wanted. If I knew then what I know now I would have dug my heels in!

Op if you have neve owned a dog then l think one way to help you decide is to spend a whole month noting each day, how you would live if you suddenly had a puppy and how you would get around all the restrictions they bring....

Ie first thing who will take him/her out in the garden, who will supervise as you get ready for school /work, who will look after him when you are at work, a pup need someone with them all day for the first three months except for very short absences or you will have barking/seperation anxiety.

Plan how you would manage each minute and see how that feels....good luck

They are a tie. There's no denying that.

I bought 2 dogs when I bought my first house. They were there when my children were born and I honestly don't feel a house is a home without at least one.

We lost one of them at the age of 11 and her brother is now 15 and I worry as I know he can't last forever.

To me the worst thing about owning a dog is they don't live long enough and it is truly heartbreaking when they die. Many non dog owners couldn't understand me and my emotions when we lost her. The dog owners gave me the misty eyed knowing look.

That being said. When something does happen to the brother I can't see myself getting anymore as I don't think I could purposefully put myself through it all again years down the line. Dramatic? Maybe. True though.

I 100% don't regret getting my dogs.
BUT....my husband works away a lot. When he's away if I'm at work I know I can't leave the house without them after work as I can't leave them for that long (so no gym, shopping, seeing friends etc). DH and I only go for meals out when at least 1 of us has been off work that day.
We both work very close to home and both get home (and different times) for an hour lunch break but still get a dog walker (that all adds up!) and our days off consist of big walks with them.

I know a lot of people who have dogs and then have given them away after a few years. It's horrendous. Only get one if you are 100% committed, not just because they're cute and you would like one jumping around!

Yeah, it really really is a huge commitment. Right now, there is always someone in the house during the day (the childminder) but that won’t continue forever. Our weekends at the moment are generally spent taking the children out for walks to nearby parks and beaches with the occasional day out to zoo etc so that can just be tailored a bit. We do like going out to restaurants too though, which would be a problem, maybe not so much in summer as a few places have outside areas which might accept a dog, but definitely in winter. Also we love travel, going abroad once or twice a year - but would dog kennels not facilitate a fortnight abroad, or am I being naive? We also spend a lot of weekends a 3-4 hour drive away with the in laws, so would need to check they’re ok with a dog.
It’s hard to know - a lot of people would say restaurants and travel are incompatible with preschoolers but we manage fine. So maybe we could manage the dog too?! (There are doggie passports after all!)

For me the biggest problem would be a rainy January weekend alone with small kids and a dog alone, with my dh working. I need to think if I can manage that.

Phuquocdreams

Exactly.

And what if it is raining sideways and you have an ill child?

I have a cat and honestly regret it. I love cats and I got the cat with all the best intentions, partially because I figured cats are more independent than dogs and I wouldn’t have to do very much. WRONG. I got a cat that has always loved to spray and pee all over the house despite being neutered. Various vet trips, changes of cat litter, litter trays, different products to apparently prevent it and special plug ins to apparently relax him later and he still does it. I’ve been at the end of my tether more than once and wanted to get rid of him but feel guilty because a pet should really be for life not for Christmas so to speak. I’ve had to replace entire floors, thrown away clothes, furniture and toys and I dread to think how much it’s cost in cleaning products... I wish I’d never bothered.

A dog sounds even more high maintenance than this, you obviously not only have to toilet train and also walk a dog daily even when it’s hideous weather or you’re very ill. I just can’t be arsed with it. My DP loves dogs but I refuse, especially when we have four young DC to contend with.

Op l had 2 dcs 16 months apart, and a 6 yr old Weimaraner, my DH worked away a lot so was rarely home to help...

From when my dcs were 8 weeks old, l took both dcs in a huge double buggy out with our dog, at 7am all year round..for an hours march through the woods......it was also my fitness routine!
As they got older l let first one, then both, dcs walk part way but always had to put them in the buggy on the way back as they got tired. We used to repeat this for 30-45 minutes in the afternoon..

It is perfectly possible, but you have to really be willing to do it every day and commit to it, for me it is worth it as life without a dog is miserable for me.

I also drove to GPs, 4 hours away, 3 times a year on my own with DCs and dog, it just takes good organisation and a bit of extra planning.
Most dogs will adjust to being somewhere else when you go on holiday, but budget on a house sitter who has experience of dogs, in case your dog hates kennels as some do. And you need to wait until they are a year old before leaving them for any length of time.

If you are careful to buy direct from a reputable breeder often they will take them whilst you are away. Think about a lower energy breed if you are daunted about the amount of runs a dog needs, a walk on lead even three times a day, is not enough for most breeds and you need to think where nearby is secure to give your dog a run and play games, they are only a puppy for a short time, its the long haul you need to consider.

When my Dcs are sick, and l cannot walk out, l use a dog daycare collection service, but its not cheap, ultimately you need to have a hefty budget to cover all these times you may need help.

Depends entirely where you live so research this.

Yes - you're I'll enough to feel dreadful but can manage with your equally ill child suggled on the sofa with drinks and cbeeebies, but the dog is barking incessantly and needs a walk, and won't go out into the garden to the toilet unless you go with, and even if you do go and stand in the rain it still needs a walk...

Our rescue dog had such bad separation anxiety that she barked incessantly if not in physical contact with me, and pushed between me and my youngest. In the house she barked if I talked to visitors and pushed between me and visiting children, and if shut in the kitchen barked. If left alone she barked and barked. She barked at night. The kids desperately wanted a dog but started refusing to come downstairs alone, even when she was shut in the kitchen, because of the barking. She urinated everywhere when stressed. She had major bowl and digestive issues. She stole food. She had no recall and was terrified of other dogs.

We tried with trainers but the conclusion was that many of her issues were not resolvable. We did resolve her digestive issues with a vet and returned her a healthy weight, having been underweight when we got her, but if she managed to steal any human food or eat anything out on a walk she had uncontrollable diarrhea and vomitting everywhere, often indoors.

The barking and separation anxiety were what drove me to the edge of mental health issues though - I grew to hate my home. Nothing has ever made me as miserable.

I wouldn't have another dog. I thought it would be fun but it usually is just a nuisance. The dc love him dearly so I don't regret getting him but it is a long lived breed and I reckon we could still have almost a decade left. I feel rather like I am serving a life sentence at times and then I feel guilty for thinking that way. Our dog is very loving but very dim and doesn't like strangers in our house much or dogs he meets on walks. The costs of kennels etc are significant.
Pluses. Security and great with our dc
Negatives. Everything else
I am never having another dog although I wouldn't be so blunt in rl.

Dogs are great, I absolutely love my dog he is just so lovely, but I will not get another one. They are very restrictive even for us and my mum and dad will take my dog whenever I need. You can't be out to long, always thinking about walking them and I tend to not leave mine anymore than a couple of hours himself as I feel very guilty. Easy for me though as I work from home but need to be out a lot.
Also they can become very expensive. Mine kept getting sick, skin lesions, off his food, chewing holes in his paws. The vet fucked up and I ended up having to pay 2 excesses for the insurance, then the insurance said they wouldn't cover any other illnesses related to what he had previously bit because the vet never go to the bottom of what was causing all those things, the insurance wouldn't cover any of them when my renewal was due. He now has a recurring eye infection and we are having to pay the bill ourselves because the vet can't prove it's not related. So I cancelled my insurance policy. He currently has 4 different eye treatments to be used between 4 times and once a day, but they can't go in at the same time.
Sorry for the rant. I adore him and will miss him terribly when he's gone but like I said I don't think I will be getting another one.

My dog has never chewed really, she can be left all day if need be, although we rarely do, we got her when our DD was 4 so she could be the baby of the family, I went on to have another child when she was 18 months, she was great with the baby and I wouldn't be without her. She is now 9 and I can't go too far along the thought of losing her. Our family will have such a sad hole in it

Please don't get a dog. You really do have to all be 100% committed and even then it is hard work. It sounds like you are really not ready to yet. I am a huge dog fan. I have a beautiful very easy dog. I work part time. But it is a huge commitment and expensive. My dog is a large mixed breed and with insurance costs me more to run than my car! She has to be walked every morning before work. Rain or shine. Light or dark. Will your kids go with you or they old enough to be left alone in the morning to get ready by themselves? Mine did for the 1st 2 weeks then the novelty wore off. A dog also needs walking in the evening. And on saturdays and sundays and holidays and when you feel poorly. You won't be able to go for the same family days out as you will have to take the dog with you or be out for a shorter time. What will you do with the dog during the day as you say you both work full time and you can't leave a dog for more than 3 or 4 hours a day. A bored and stressed dog dog is really hard work never mind being unfair on the dog. It really is like having a toddler that never grows up. Dogs are hugely rewarding and can be great fun but people underestimate quite how much time and energy they take up. It sounds like you have fallen in love with an idea but the reality could be very different.

Breed is Japanese Spitz

Aaahh. I've only ever known one Japanese Spitz, and he was the most enchanting little fellow: lively, but not boisterous, playful, but not rough, affectionate, but not demanding, and very biddable. He lived in a family with 2 young children and was great with them.

He belonged to a client that I was supporting a couple of years ago and I still see them occasionally. He is so pleased to see me, I feel quite touched by the welcome.

I'm not keen on Spitz type dogs generally, but he is such a sweetheart I've kind of revised my opinion.