How do I put this?

[Nurserymom]

Hi everyone just wondering what you would all do in this situation.

It's a little sensitive but just recently I've suddenly noticed a very strong smell coming off my best best friend. I know she is a very clean person who showers daily and uses AP.

I know this can be actually quite a serious symptom but I'm not sure what for?

I want to address this to my friend and let her know but I want to handle this sensitively and help come up with solutions instead of just being like oh you smell and not actually helping her in any way.

What can I do to help her? And what can the smell be a symptom of? (The smell isnt fishy) ita quite a sour stale sort of smell.

Please go gentle I may not of worded this great but I just want to be a good friend to her because I love her.

Zzzzz - okay you seem hell bent on derailing this thread and it's posters like you that really ruin mumsnet. The point I was making was my husband wouldn't discuss the way my friend smelt with anyone at all he simply mentioned it to me after she visited earlier because it was very strong smelling.

I've answered each one of your snippy remarks in a reasonable way and ive remained polite but quite honestly you're starting to piss me off. Either contribute to the thread in a constructive way or scroll on by not every post on aibu has to turn into some spiteful argument. This is a post asking for helpful advice of how to help someone with what many would consider a sensitive issue.

Yes I did already say in the same post I said about the pack of products that it was a SHIT idea... if I knew all the right answers I wouldn't need to come on here and ask for advice.

Yes I can believe you're the kind of person who would end a 15 plus year friendship over something like that.

Sometimes my colleague - at work would come in smelling different. I’d notice as I shared the same cubicle. It was a distinctive musty odour. She was an excessively well-groomed woman, perfumed, made-up, but the smell would would creep out from under all that, follow her around and permeate the day. Now, she had a fondness for whiskey - she was a collector - and I eventually worked out she reeked after a particularly big night.

Theclaws im the same with gin that's why i stay away from it! Friends not a drinker though apart from the odd glass of wine (white) here and there. Could you smell it was whiskey?

I know someone who is in similar predicament. His skin smells not of bo but its like a cheese smell and can't quite grasp why. I've gone doctors with him and the doctor dismissed the concern

What @Wanttomakemincepies said.

There's a difference between telling someone directly and just being cold about it. I'm not a cold person especially to people I care about yes I'm going to be direct as we established earlier in the thread when a poster suggested I act all innocent and start shouting about a funny smell and I said straight away why it was a bad idea but you don't just tell someone something like that without being willing to help them find a solution.

Also unlikely to be going through menopause we are both in ours 20s she's actually 2 years younger then me so while it's not impossible I doubt it.

Unicorn did the gp not do any tests or anything? Did he have anything else going on like other symptoms? And did the problem resolve or is he still suffering?

The way I dealt was I sat him down and was upfront and supportive. The key is to make the person feel comfortable and not afraid. Perhaps you could call her over one afternoon and just start with I don't want you to feel upset but I have a little concern...

The gp gave some hydrocortisone cream as he said his skin was dry and that was it no biopsy or anything so I am going to take him again

Unicorn sounds like good advice there yes I dont want her to feel like she's being judged or anything at all and whatever she says after I will totally respect she may not want to see me for a few days and that's okay too I think I'm just gonna bite the bullet sit her down and have the chat but offer lots of support and let her know I'm there for her. Its what I would want if it was me.

Definitely she might actually feel relieved and not feel like she is going through this alone. You never know she might actually even have concerns already but doesn't know what to do and how to speak of it.

This is what friends are for. Good luck and hope you find a solution x

Might be ridiculously wrong, but did she recently start using raw coconut oil for her hair or skin? I don't know why, if it's the type of oil or depending on the person, but while that smells lovely at first some can develop a really weird rancid/vomit like smell after a few hours...

Anyways, good luck with the conversation, I'm sure she'll appreciate your honesty.

Since you've said it's sour/stale - is it possible she decided to try the vinegar/baking soda hair-washing method? It supposedly doesn't smell, but it pretty much does.
Oh, or mayonnaise as conditioner? (no joke)

Although, as others have said, it kinda sounds like washing that's not been dried properly.
She probably, or at least possibly, washes her things separately from the rest of the family's laundry, therefore they wouldn't have the same odour.

btw, if you're as close as you say, keep it light-hearted, too. If my longtime friend told me that I was suddenly stinky, I might be a bit embarrassed, but we'd howl and laugh about it together, no matter what the cause turned out to be - bad laundry, stale perfume, or even illness.

Keep us posted please, this will be educational as well being curious now.
Hope you solve it soon, and that it's only something silly and benign.

Do NOT tell her it is a 'bad' smell. Tell her you notice a different smell on her, and ask her if she is using an egg shampoo (?) or something exotic.

omg, Lordy, yes @artio0 --
I love coconut oil on my hands and feet.
I tried it on my hair once for conditioner, and liked to have died. Nasty! It was fresh, expensive orginic stuff, too. Took about a month of frantic hair washings to get the smell all gone! Argh! (I have long, coarse frizzy hair.) It smells fine on my skin, but on my hair, it was putrid!
And also, some certain fragrances of Dr. Bronner's liquid soaps smell like vomit for a while after washing. Cherry Blossom is one.
Rose and Peppermint are nice though.

OP, no, I couldn’t smell whiskey, just an odd, unpleasant musty ripe-shoes scent. I put two and two together with her general behaviour and comments.

My husband had to sit me down and gently hold my hand one day and say; "I really want to make it clear I don't want to be unkind, and I've been worried about saying this, but I don't think you are aware, that your breath smells really strong.... kind of like shit, and I think it might be worth going to the doctor to see if there's anything wrong."

It must've been excruciating for him to say (he looked very scared)...

Turns out that some eye drops I was taking (to prevent glaucoma after being prescribed steroids for a very serious eye condition) was tracking down my tear ducts, into my nasal and throat cavity, and literally "rotting" the skin on my palate away!

Doctor told me to stop one of the types of drops. The skin healed, my eye was okay, and I no longer made people want to vomit when I spoke to them.

If he hadn't told me I'd have been totally unaware as I couldn't smell it.

Your friend may possibly have some hormonal or endocrine disorder, and infection, or something else. Only a GP can know, and if you suggest the smell is new, and significant, and that it's there regardless of her cleanliness, and my be health related, she'll most likely agree it makes sense to follow it up.

I know I preferred being told about the poo-breath thing (even though it was embarrassing) otherwise I wouldn't have known how to fix it (or even that it needed fixing).

She may well of tried some fancy organic beauty regime she knows I'm quite into my essential oils and home made face and hair masks so she may very well of tried it too after I've banged on about brilliant results I've had she hasn't said anything though the only one she mentioned was a face scrub I made out of almond oil, honey and sugar. No i won't be saying it's a bad smell I'm just doing to say her personal scent has changed ask her if shes tried anything new.

Another thing to mention is I know she only uses scented shower gels to wash she buys them all the time im wondering whether this could be stripping something from her skin and might be worth mentioning to switch to some plain soap. For me personally I can't use the scented shower gels and body washes as I find they make me smell a little especially under the arms I like using simple bars of soap I find that helps and doesn't interfere with the smell of my purfume.

Is she taking anything to help ttc? Herbs? Hormones? Garlic in your shoes ?(sorry, is really a thing but forathletes foot. Dont recommend). Some weird folk remedy?

Not that I'm aware of she hasn't mentioned anything but then again she probably wouldn't.

Zzzzz you still here then?