How do I put this?

[Nurserymom]

Hi everyone just wondering what you would all do in this situation.

It's a little sensitive but just recently I've suddenly noticed a very strong smell coming off my best best friend. I know she is a very clean person who showers daily and uses AP.

I know this can be actually quite a serious symptom but I'm not sure what for?

I want to address this to my friend and let her know but I want to handle this sensitively and help come up with solutions instead of just being like oh you smell and not actually helping her in any way.

What can I do to help her? And what can the smell be a symptom of? (The smell isnt fishy) ita quite a sour stale sort of smell.

Please go gentle I may not of worded this great but I just want to be a good friend to her because I love her.

I would suggest she goes to the gp about the pain in her fingers and blurred vision. The symptoms and the smell could be linked. I know my old (retired about 15 years ago) GP used to tell me how he had been trained to use smell as a diagnostic clue when he was at medical school.
The doctor may be able to help your friend without you having to mention the smell.

It doesn’t sound like diabetes from what you’ve described. Just sounds like she’s ran out of deodorant, or not dried her clothes properly, or different sanitary towels etc.

RIv, your old GP was right. It isn't 'taught' as such anymore but smells linked to certain conditions can be very distinctive. Wounds with pseudomonas, ketosis, urine infections, C diff, liver failure are never forgotten if healthcare is your line of work.

You need to give more info

is it :
sweat
stale sweat
vaginal fishy smell?

Maybe she has tampax she's forgotten about still inside her?

That can STINK

She would have a job she doesn't use tampax at all. It's like sour milk sort of smell.

I did say this person is my best friend. been my best friend for 15 year or more since early teens. I'm bound to know a lot about her same as she knows a lot about me we've been on holidays together supported each other through pregnancies and various other big life events. I'd be worried if I didn't know a lot about her.

I didn't mean to imply that you were gossiping about her (by posting this thread, or otherwise) - but if you've noticed the unusual/unpleasant smell, others will as well.

what could be up with her sinuses that would affect the way she smells is it something to do with the mucus or a sort of infection? I'm just really desperate to help someone out but as I say I want it to be constructive and I want to be able to give some decent advice and support instead of just dropping that sort of thing on her and then leaving her to it. I've already prepared myself that she's going to be embarassed and upset most people would be but I care for her a lot and I think she will know the last thing I want is to hurt her.

If it were me I'd say 'I think you should see your GP, because your personal scent has changed quite a lot recently'.
You don't actually need to identify the problem yourself, but you do need to encourage her to get it looked at.

fingers and eyesight and body odor is a ketone diabetes issue.im not saying she has this.but a person with diabetes does have these symtoms.and when it reaches pain in fingers and eyesight change its gotten serious so please approach her.
instead of bad odor or horrid just say instead something along the lines of "im worried about you what with your eyesight and finge troubles...and I also had noticed you scent has differed recently too.then offer support and going to the docs with her etc etc.

Encourage her to get checked about the blurry vision ASAP and the day of the appointment say you've noticed her smelling differently recently and maybe you should mention that to the GP while you're in there.

I think then she won't have long to think about it or google (which is the devil I medical circumstances) and I know you have your best intentions but you don't actually know what's causing it and by guessing over the internet and then telling her the possibilities isn't actually going to help her.

You would mention if she had loo roll stuck to her shoe, it's the same thing just rip it off like a bandage and then have something else to talk about in your head just in case their is an awkward silence.

Welcome sorry my message wasn't meant to sound confrontational at all apologies if it came out that way I just felt bad after reading your message that I guess this could be seen as gossiping.

Yes my husband noticed it and he did mention it to me earlier in private he felt terrible and was worried I was going to get upset with him for saying it but I agreed I had noticed it too I am definately not going to tell my friend my husband noticed though and husband and said he isn't going to breathe a word about it to anyone.

Zigzag no that's an awful idea and when she realises it's her she will feel terrible that's not the kind of sensitive approach im going for. Sorry but that is bad advice.

Utter bullshit.

be vunerable yourself when telling her.dont be blunt and harsh be worried like you sound.she will see that in you.and it wont be as embaressing or confronting.get down to her level so she doesn't feel ganged upon.you clearly love her and that is lovely.and being through what you have with her fingers crossed she will just listen and take it on and then you can be there for her.
if she does get upset.ask you to leave then make sure you tell her how much you care about her so will do as she says and let her rest with it but that your not going anywhere and will be in touch in a few days or something.
when someone is afraid or shamed the worst thing is to be left and then it be on them to reach out. they need to no people will never be pushed away no matter how far you push them.

Oh no I don't want to tell her all the scary things it could be or anything like that although I have to admit coupled with the other symptoms she has complained of I am a little worried. I'm glad I asked on here though I had a really shit idea (I know it's shit because nobody has mentioned it on here)

I was going to put together a pack with some really nice bath and body products and some really good ap and say something about her scent changing and perhaps its products she's using not agreeing with her... Dumb idea but I was just desperately trying to think of something nice and practical to do a long with giving her the bad news. Don't worry I won't be going with that idea. I think a honest private chat and lots of support will do the trick.

We do have mutual friends. What my husband means is that if anyone tried to bring it up with him he isn't going to sit and discuss it. He is very close friends with my best friends partner so her partner could very well mention it to my husband but he doesn't want my friend to find out he has noticed the smell so he said he would just prefer to play dumb if anyone was to mention it. My friend would be mortified if she knew my husband had noticed this she doesn't even like her dp to buy her sanitry products from the shop if he is with my dh.

I think you should ask her if her fingers/vision have got better or still bothering her. Then introduce the idea that sometimes people smell different if they have an illness, even when there are no other symptoms, so has she noticed that about herself. Then maybe even mention the diabetes possibility. When DD was young I could tell she was ill before she had other symptoms as she smelt different. Try to phrase it as a 'different smell' from normal, and that it can be a sign of a health problem where other signs aren't showing yet.

She may be aware of it herself, but not sure if it's real and she's imagining it.

I dont think I'm over thinking it at all. This is someone's feelings we are talking about and actually it could also be someone's health.

Anything you do to talk around it will just make it worse. Just say you've noticed she smells and you were a bit concerned as it's a new thing and you know it's nothing to do with her hygiene. Has she noticed, and maybe to get it checked out just in case.