DH is American and his parents still live over there but we moved back to the UK 4 years ago before we had our DC who are 3 and 5 months old.
For the last 2 christmases, we have traveled over to the US to visit. Last year I was PG and ended up suffering badly with sickness and missed out on the whole of Christmas Day pretty much aside from DS opening his stocking and a few presents with me in bed because MIL wanted all the family together opening presents “and it wasn’t her fault I was ill”.
This caused a major argument just before we came home (a whole other thread) meaning I didn’t talk to MIL till the day DD was born and that was for all of 30 seconds on FaceTime because she wasn’t interested how I felt after 52 hours in labour and EMCS but how pleased she was “she finally has her little girl” (DH has two brothers who both have sons and then we have DS)
When DD was a week old, MIL came to visit- told us before hand it would be for a week so agreed we would accommodate her. When she turned up she announced she was staying for a month, another argument and DH having to pay a fortune to fly her home the day after. Me and her have had zero contact since- DH took DS over for a week in August and I stayed at home with DD.
Anyway- MIL rang up yesterday to ask when we were coming over for Christmas. I answered, and said we wouldn’t be as we were spending this year with my parents who have never spent a Christmas with their DGC who are their only GKs. MIL then went on to say how her, FIL, BILs and their families could afford the flights over here. When I pointed out we hadn’t invited any of them (yes it has been agreed between me and DH) MIL went on a big rant about “how dare I keep her away from her babies at Christmas” and how selfish I was being. I’m not going to lie- I hung up to avoid screaming at her down the phone and got DH to call her back when he came in from work.
MIL has now guilt tripped DH into convincing me to let them all come for Christmas- which isn’t happening for the following:
- All the reasons discussed above.
- We live in a tiny 2 bed terrace, my parents are already staying meaning me and DH are on the sofa. MIL and FIL at least expect to stay here and there’s physically no room. At best all we could offer them is a blow up mattress in our WIW but it wouldn’t be deemed acceptable plus would mean basically sharing a room with my parents.
MIL thinks it’s unfair my parents get to see the D.C. on Christmas because “they seem them all the time”- which they do, they are our childcare 3 days a week, but they have never spent a Christmas with them.
AIBU?