To ask what to do now that I’ve found vodka in my 16 year olds room?

[princ3ssconsuelabananahammock]

DD 16 went to a party and then sleepover last night and before she went she used the mop which I found odd. I went into her room after she left and could smell alcohol (so she’d clearly done a bad job of cleaning split vodka up). So, don’t slate me for this, I rooted through her drawers and found a half empty massive bottle of vodka. She’ll be back around 11. How do I punish her? Do you think she bought it herself, I don’t know who could buy it for her?

Underage Teenagers have been acquiring alcohol for generations. I wouldn't concentrate on where she got it from, but use your finding it to open a sensible discussion about alcohol in general.

Just give a bollocking but in the surefire knowledge that she'll do it again ( and again)

Has it really come as a complete shock to you?

My kids are not that age yet, but I do remember being a 14 year old smuggling alcohol.

Use the opportunity to give her a bit of a bollocking, but mostly tell her how to keep safe and know her limits. Vodka is not a good drink for kids imo.

Nothing.

You tell her to clean up better next time.

Why did you need to go rooting?

She’s done well to keep it hidden from you this long!

It’s simply time for a conversation

ooforfox well I’d expect the usual warm strongbows but having a stock of vodka in your room? We’d buy what we wanted for the night. She’s never come home staggering so I guess it has.

Tell her you've found it and then teach her about alcohol if you havnt already. miss-use etc. The dangers. As op said it's been done for generations. Me and all my friends were underage drinking at parties etc in the 80s but also because we were allowed small amounts within family occasions and it wasn't taboo we didn't get dangerously drunk. Did you think she's be drinking alcohol before going? Or is this the first time you've found out and a complete shock to you?

She may have bought it herself. She may have fake ID. Someone may have bought it for here: older sibling/someone else’s older sibling/stranger outside a shop/her own brass neck of going to the counter and paying for it in a shop known for not checking ID.

I don’t stop my teens drinking. I accept they are going to do it and so set boundaries.

sterymeep I’m not a complete idiot so was pretty sure she must be drinking at parties but I don’t remember it being enough for me to store a litre bottle of vodka in my room (although maybe a litre bottle of vodka is why I don’t remember )

Punishment? Seriously? I wouldn't do anything. But I would keep a close eye on it (and her). Teens and alcohol ... not exactly unheard of. Did you not do drink at this age?

At least half the bottle came home though, on the bright side...

Ah ok. Sorry, I read it as though it had come as a complete surprise.

Yes I was shocked at first at how much alcohol they can get their hands on, and large bottles of vodka.

notangelinajolie I did drink but definitely didn’t make it evident to my parents. If I did I’m sure I’d have gotten a right bollocking. From what I remember, my friends with the parents who ‘didn’t care’ got pissed up, chundering all over the place because they weren’t scared of going home in a state

I don’t think punishing is the answer. She’ll just hide it better next time.

I ok alcohol for parties, not indiscriminate drinking. Certainly not in the park. Not for when they have their mates round.

Don’t you get her booze for parties? Most 16 year olds I know get a couple of bottles of beer or cider to take with them.
It’s the ones that don’t who end up on the vodka!

I found out my teenage DS and his friends had paid a homeless person to buy vodka for them

That was a day of shame with regards to my confidence in being a good parent

Nothing like a teenager to bring you right back down to earth

It's not really that big of a deal

Tip it out and replace with water. Wait for her reaction.

keyhairbandnotepad hah that could be fun!

Ouch, mooncup.

OP, time for a talk. I much prefer my teens to drink cider than spirits, at least until they start university. Might be better to offer to buy her a couple of ciders or pre mixed vodkas for a party and try to steer her off the strong stuff?

Was it a good brand ?
I'd take the mick for buying cheap rubbish
and for spilling it

Pour it down the sink and replace it with water, see how long it takes for her to notice

I would dispose of the bottle and say nothing. The fact that you know and she knows you know should be enough to make her concerned,

Leave the bottle out where she can see it when she gets in, then get her to pour down the sink