To ask what to do now that I’ve found vodka in my 16 year olds room?

[princ3ssconsuelabananahammock]

DD 16 went to a party and then sleepover last night and before she went she used the mop which I found odd. I went into her room after she left and could smell alcohol (so she’d clearly done a bad job of cleaning split vodka up). So, don’t slate me for this, I rooted through her drawers and found a half empty massive bottle of vodka. She’ll be back around 11. How do I punish her? Do you think she bought it herself, I don’t know who could buy it for her?

Damn keys you beat me to it!

My mum found a half finished bottle of vodka in my room when I was 16. She poured it out and left it sitting on my bedside table. She never said anything I waited and waited and nothing, that was worse than being yelled at.
It didn't stop me drinking but I didn't bring anything else home again!

Open a general discussion about parties and alcohol and keeping safe like not drinking till you're sick and looking out for friends.
You could mention about the mop and the smell of it but if you come over all heavy parent and say you were rooting through her room you put yourself in the wrong and she will resent you and tell you nothing.
Ime the things you find when you snoop around are never nice.
Teenagers are pretty territorial over their rooms. They regard it as their safe place.

Drink it and thank her for it when she gets home. Dare you :).

Also, chill. (I mean you, no the vodka).

We all did this didn't we?

I’m impressed there was half a bottle left.

I thought vodka had no smell?

Anyway, I’d drink it. 🥃

I'd take it and see if she has a reaction, I would also have a word about safe drinking

butchyrestingface I think it’s good quality vodka that doesn’t smell, Glenn’s definitely smells.

I would bring her curfew forward to around 9pm.

Glenn’s definitely smells

So drinking it is out then? Bugger. :(

Replace it with something more aspirational?

Show her how to make a proper Martini 🤷🏼‍♀️

It's really not a huge deal. I drank enough in my teenage years that by 18 I was totally bored of it. I'm 32 and have a drink maybe twice a year now if I can be arsed.

At her age my best friend and I hid a bottle of vodka in his bedside drawer and his mother found it, refilled it with water and put it back. She never said a word to us and we didn't try it again!

Teenagers have been stashing alcohol in their rooms for generations. I did and so did my daughters. I'd just confiscate it and see if she says anything.

It is far far more important to talk to her about looking after herself than punishing her.

You need to keep her close, and she needs to know that if she or a friend are ever in trouble she can ask for help.

Let her know you found it and Ask her calmly how much she drinks. Let her know you will support her as she navigates being a teen. Talk her through drinking slowly, so that she doesn’t drink enough all in one go only for alcohol poisoning to hit even before she has realised it was taking effect. Talk her through how to look after her friends if they are drunk, talk about personal and sexual safety.

I would confiscate the vodka and tell
Her that beer and cider are a better bet. But then what do I know? My SIL bought her 16 yo a bottle of vodka for a NYE party so she will be mixing with friends who have vodka to share. That’s why talk of punishment is the wrong angle. You need to equip her with life skills and support.

When I was 16 we totally believed vodka had no smell, so you could drink as much as you wanted and the adults would never know.

Advice on '3' is the magic number is also good @OP. Just tell her that any more than 3 drinks is stupid. No one ever needs more than 3 drinks and most stop at 2. She'll learn that in her own time anyway.

YABU. The correct response is to bring up a bottle of Tonic water and an ice bucket

keep it for your self 😆

Lots and lots of 16 year olds drink vodka. I don’t think you have to necessarily say anything. My only concern would be if a child was drinking alone

It's really not a huge deal. I drank enough in my teenage years that by 18 I was totally bored of it. I'm 32 and have a drink maybe twice a year now if I can be arsed

Yep same! I only drink now when I actually enjoy the taste as well. I did my time of drinking disgusting rubbish, the aim now is to enjoy the drink, not get smashed!

I'd confiscate it until she was 18 and remove a privilege for her bringing her alcohol into the home without at least discussing it. That is deceptive. I wouldn't make a big, hurt deal out of it. Just tell her it isn't how you expect her to behave.

I would do as the other posters have said, take the bottle. Its not as thought she will ask for it backand it it will have her shaking in her boots!!

That or fill with water and watch her get "drunk" lol

Fill it with water is a good one.

YABU. The correct response is to bring up a bottle of Tonic water and an ice bucket

Wot??!!! No lemon????

Don’t you get her booze for parties? Most 16 year olds I know get a couple of bottles of beer or cider to take with them

I'm not naive enough to think my teens don't drink but I would never buy them alcohol. I would not break the law to facilitate my teen doing something I don't agree with. They can manage the way teens have done for ever and source it themselves creatively.