Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be annoyed that the baby chooses today to get poorly?

74 replies

QueenofmyPrinces · 05/10/2018 23:19

I have two boys, a 4 year old who has just started school and a 14 month old.

Life has been hard over the last few months, mainly because the 14 month old is a nightmare sleeper and I only get about 5 hours broken sleep a night, and also because I’ve gone back to work and I’m a nurse with long shifts. I’m pretty exhausted most of the time.

Anyhow - a few weeks ago my lovely DH surprised me with the news he’d booked me a room for this weekend in a cottage-type B&B so I can hide away, enjoy the silence, get some rest and most importantly have an uninterrupted night’s sleep.

I’m due to check in tomorrow at 11am and it’s been arranged for about three weeks. I’ve been looking forward to it so much and I’ve got it all planned out how I’m going to spend my precious me-time.

However, about three days ago the 14 month old started with a terrible cough and last night I had an horrendous night with him in that he was up crying, coughing and having temperatures.

Today he’s been vomiting constantly, can’t keep anything down apart from breast milk and is having diarrhoea and continued temperatures.

Why does this have to happen now?

I know it means I’m not going to be able to go to the B&B tomorrow now and I’m so disappointed.

When he’s ill he just wants me, I haven’t been able to put him down all day and seeing as the only thing he can tolerate is breast milk it’s not like I can go anywhere.

I know it’s not his fault and I hate seeing him poorly but I just feel so, so disheartened that it’s happened now.

All I wanted was a rest

OP posts:

autumnnightsaredrawingin · 05/10/2018 23:21

Awww OP. See how he is in the morning- it may still be possible for you to go. Is he taking water?

donajimena · 05/10/2018 23:23

Aww I do feel for you. Its so disappointing when you have been looking forward to a break. Its happened to me too but you move on. Just reschedule as soon as you can.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 05/10/2018 23:24

You must be gutted. Don’t know about you but personally I would be be disappointed but nothing would stop me from ensuring my child had the best care if unwell.
Yes it’s shite timing but you are a mum, get on with it

SputnikBear · 05/10/2018 23:24

It isn’t his fault, poor little soul. He’s poorly and wants his mummy. You’re bound to be disheartened and upset but there will be other weekends.

Leyani · 05/10/2018 23:27

Oh no, the disappointment must be huge. Is there any chance you can change dates or get money back via insurance so you can go another weekend really soon? If not, can you all go but DH does all the care apart from the breast feeds? Hope little one is much better tomorrow

Original poster

QueenofmyPrinces · 05/10/2018 23:31

It’s worse because this is my only week off until the end of December so rebooking it won’t happen until January which feels like forever away.

DS does drink water from a beaker and would probably take expressed milk from it too so my DH keeps telling me I should still go.

He says he’s just as capable as looking after our son as I am which I know is true but I’m his mum and I just want to be with him

OP posts:

garethsouthgatesmrs · 05/10/2018 23:31

SputnikBear the OP knows it's not his fault! She isn't taking it out on him she is having an anonymous rant.

OP you must be so frustrated, I have been there, you plan something special and a child's sickness ruins it. You can reschedule, get it booked in for asap. You never know though, after a good night tonight he may be back to himself tomorrow, babies bounce back quickly.

1sttimeDD · 05/10/2018 23:32

Chooses to be poorly? Very poor wording there OP. Yabu. I agree with PPs - there are plenty of other weekends and opportunities to go away - you chose to be a parent and your child needs your care!

garethsouthgatesmrs · 05/10/2018 23:33

just read your update, wait and see before deciding. Children get over bugs far more quickly than we do. There must be a night you have off between now and Jan. Even if it's just the night and the sleep and maybe a peaceful meal. Even if you have to get home for school run in the morning, at least it will be something.

tastylancs · 06/10/2018 06:54

I think if DH genuinely still wants you to go, and you aren't going too far away.... I think I'd still go to be honest! As long as he will take water and expressed milk he will be fine, and he will be looked after by DH instead of you for 24 hours. If DH feels he can't cope or that little one is really unhappy without you make him promise to call you and you can come back. How has DS been during the night?

noworklifebalance · 06/10/2018 07:07

After reading so many threads about awful husbands it's so nice to hear about a supportive one that thinks of your needs (I realise that this only a tiny window into your life). Hope your DS2 gets better soon and even if you don't get to go away or feel comfortable doing that why don't you take book to a cafe and have lovely lunch, go to the cinema, get your hair/nails done, have a massage etc?

user1471459936 · 06/10/2018 07:11

How is he (and you!) this morning? It's rotten luck.

Chosenbyyou · 06/10/2018 08:06

Oh no this is hurting and I would be the same as you - upset :(

I am in a very similar situation to you (3yo and 18month old) and am really exhausted as my smallest sleeps very badly.

I also have a night away planned on Friday - it’s a spa night with a friend. I have been looking forward to this for 9 long months!! If my DS gets ill this week (he gets lots of nursery bugs) then I just won’t be able to go - DH would be fine (he is a doctor lol) but I would feel awful guilt but I would be GUTTED :(

I really feel for you - when they are ill and you are already on low sleep reserves it is the pits :(

I don’t have any suggestions cuz you will do what you should do but I sympathise as it’s just rotten luck xx

Original poster

QueenofmyPrinces · 06/10/2018 08:22

He slept well-ish, had numerous breast feeds and didn’t vomit. He woke up in good spirits and has been running around with his brother and playing with their dinosaurs.

I gave him some breakfast and he was sick after his first spoonful.

After he was sick he went straight back to playing with his brother and giggling.

There is plenty of EBM and we have Dioralyte sachets.

The B&B is a 15 minute drive away and DH has said he will be happy to bring DS to me for breast feeds if he thinks it’s needed. Also, with me being so near it’s no hardship for me to just come home.

DH is really keen for me to go because he knows how much I’ve been looking forward to it and he wants me to have a break but I just don’t know.

DH looks after our sons all the time without me for long periods during my shift work so I know he’s just as able as me to look after DS but I have so much mom guilt going on

OP posts:

Xmasbaby11 · 06/10/2018 08:28

You should definitely go. Your ds doesn't sound too poorly and you're so near if you're needed.

Let your dh support you. He wants to, he's capable, he's also a parent. Go and get some rest!

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 06/10/2018 08:30

You should go, your wee lad‘s doing much better and you’re it far away if needed. Go recharge your batteries!

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 06/10/2018 08:30

*You‘re not far away

Queenofthestress · 06/10/2018 08:31

Go go go! How are you going to able to look after patients and your dc if you have a break down from exhaustion inbetween now and january?

DonnaDarko · 06/10/2018 08:33

You have a fully capable DH,just go!

DaphneFanshaw · 06/10/2018 08:34

Oh gosh, just go. Your ds will have a parent with him, he will be just fine.

VimFuego101 · 06/10/2018 08:37

What did he have for breakfast? If it was milk or similar, his stomach may still be a bit sensitive. Plain toast and bland things might be best. DS always used to throw up again when having milk while recovering from an upset stomach. Your DS does sound like he's on the mend.

Original poster

QueenofmyPrinces · 06/10/2018 08:38

I have just checked his temperature and it’s fine this morning: 36.7.

He’s very clingy to me but he’s like that even when he’s well.

He’s currently having a breast feed so I will see how he goes.

The B&B have contacted my husband and said the room is ready for check in as soon as I’d like.

He’s currently downstairs in the kitchen making me my favourite meal so I can take it with me to eat tonight as there’s a fridge and microwave in my room. He’s also bought me a stash of chocolate and my favourite treats to take with me too.

I really really want to go but I feel like I’m being so unfair to my son.

This is such a horrible situation.

OP posts:

RiddleyW · 06/10/2018 08:38

Sounds fine to go to me! You cAn always come home for tonight if he gets worse again.

BlossomCat · 06/10/2018 08:40

Go and have a break. It sounds like your husband has it covered.
If you were having to go to work for a 12 hour shift where you were in charge, and you knew there was only agency staff working, how would you feel about going In? As a former nurse, I know that I would leave my son in those circumstances, so consider today as an urgent situation for yourself, and you know that they will be fine. They have coped before, and will today. Dont let the mummy guilt ruin your rest, it is important that you recharge your batteries so you can care for your family in the weeks until your next break. The fact you are only 15 minutes away makes it so much easier.
Go and rest, sleep and relax.

OliviaBenson · 06/10/2018 08:41

Go!!! Your ds is fine and has his dad there to deal with anything. Don't be a martyr! Enjoy your night and sleeeeeep!

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread