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AIBU?

To ask about your moments of realisation?

83 replies

Spanglylycra · 05/10/2018 22:31

Driving to work yesterday. Sat in traffic at the lights I suddenly had a lightbulb moment about my job, a what the fuck am I doing wasting my time moment?!

This came after a few weeks very stressful and emotional that have been very full on at work. This week mildly better and I felt like I'd just hit a calm spot and thought that's it I've had enough, not stressed or upset just realised that's it and it's like a strange calm has come over me!

So I wondered if you have had a moment like this did you act upon the feeling and did it work?

OP posts:
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TheHeartOfTafiti · 05/10/2018 22:39

I had a moment at work where someone in a position of authority acted like an absolute dick and massively comprised my chances of obtaining a grant that would be very significant in my work. Changed my opinion of people in authority forever. I’d thought they were knowledgeable and respectful, they weren’t.

I got the grant very much despite them, and now I know that other people’s (narrow) opinions don’t define me or what I can do.

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farrahbright · 05/10/2018 22:44

It will sound most dramatic but it's unfortunately true:

I had to drive over a motorway bridge everyday on the way to work and one day I thought "if only I could drive off this bridge and not have to go to work"

Realising I'd rather cause myself and others all sorts of harm or even death as opposed to going to work made me realise it was time to leave.

Well worth the hassle and ages of looking for new job although during the gap I wondered if I'd made a big mistake!!

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garethsouthgatesmrs · 05/10/2018 23:40

Yes - thought similar to this in august, applied for jobs, have just been offered my dream job today. I hadn't applied sooner because I didnt think they would consider me at this particular place due to some of my qualifications so glad I took a risk!

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LovelyGirlNOT · 05/10/2018 23:52

Yup.

I realised after years of mental abuse and controlling behaviour at the hands of my own mother, it suddenly dawned on me that she isn't disappointed in me....... she's actually jealous of me.

Years of trying to make her proud. Years of desperate attempts to make her love me.
And then it all fell in to place.

Now I maintain very low contact, and during my infrequent periods of contact with her I choose to take whatever poison she spits on the chin and just ignore it.

As a result of that little realisation I'm now much happier and my mental health has never been more stable (not perfect, still on ADs, but I'm not so screwed up wondering what it is about me that made her despise me that much)

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LightDrizzle · 05/10/2018 23:57

When my ghastly ex-husband told me to fuck off over the phone and i realised that was an excellent idea and followed through.
It wasn’t quite as easy as that but it was a great decision and my life is so much better.

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user3691215 · 06/10/2018 00:02

"losing the plot," was the best thing that ever happened to me

work just stops people from rioting and going crazy it is an essential part of keeping the government in power

there are whole industries and millions spent each year on making you think work is freedom and industries are set up to keep us all working, if you don't work you are increasingly labelled or shunned unless you have money or power.

school conditions us to be employable but at what cost? we are not offered an alternative because they like to keep us under control.

poisonous chemicals treat seeds in industrial agriculture, we rob the soil of goodness then fertilize it to heaven and blast it with insecticides then wonder why there is so much illness

we use toxic chemicals to clean our homes

people in power sell weapons so need the threat of war to do well

it's not as if scientists couldn't have made electric cars 40 years ago, but some oil barons would be most unhappy if they had.....

as i grow older the world and in particular the human race seems increasingly awful

thank goodness there is raising children as a diversion from these thoughts

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WhackyBirds · 06/10/2018 00:05

Read an article about narcissism and realised it was my mother.

Cut contact with her.

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WhackyBirds · 06/10/2018 00:06

garethsouthgatesmrs congratulations! 🍾

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flirtygirl · 06/10/2018 00:07

Wow user3691215 very profound.

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RuggerHug · 06/10/2018 00:07

Yes. Not work related but a 'friend' telling me I was going to lie to someone else to help her out. This wasn't a little white lie but a brutal, ruin their life when they found out one. I asked if she realised how cruel it was, she said she didn't care because she would get what she wanted.
I realised then that she wasn't as innocent as she made out and she'd been using me and others for years. She knew she was cruel but didn't care. Backed away from her and wish I could say she was gone but once she copped I wasn't willing to 'help' her I was the next target 😢

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PickAChew · 06/10/2018 00:10

Battling into work during a rather poorly pregnancy. I was passing out constantly. Made it in, one day, despite the beginnings of a uti, to find myself with a full timetable of cover. Broke up a fight in the morning with a class that had so many pupils on report I spent all but 15 minutes of lunchtime commenting, then turned up to a cover in the afternoon to find no constructive work set and a hod that had never given a shit, didn't give a shit.

I went back to my gp and never returned

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WhackyBirds · 06/10/2018 00:11

RuggerHug what did she do to you? Flowers

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thenightsky · 06/10/2018 00:16

Friend/colleague telling me she was taking early retirement. She was younger than me and I'd never considered it possible. I looked into it and was gone in six months. My stress levels dropped like a stone and I feel like I've got a whole new life ahead of me now.

(ex-NHS)

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thenightsky · 06/10/2018 00:17

Agree with user too.

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PickAChew · 06/10/2018 00:19

User clearly doesn't need the money.

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SheWoreBlueVelvet · 06/10/2018 01:06

user3691215 yeah I do get your gist... but until you actually try and live of Mother Nature and realise a combination of weather, pests and relentless hard work jeans you go hungry a lot of the time.

But generally if you think " fuck it" it probably means it's time to go.
Which is avtually why I think Brexit works No help, artifical aid/grants in return for flavourlesd trade deals Because actually people feel better doing it the hard way and bring better off.

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Jamiefraserskilt · 06/10/2018 01:10

Eureka moments
Realising that some relationships are on their terms, not shared terms.
The day I read that there is a difference between being useful and being used.
The day I accepted that just because you are related to someone, doesn't mean you have to like them.
the day I decided Just because I can, doesn't mean I will.

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ALittleAubergine · 06/10/2018 01:21

When I was sitting in the toilet at work, sipping from a bottle hidden in my purse in the hope it would help me talk to people.... I realised I needed help with my crippling social phobia. Got help and feel so much better, able to function normally now!

Or sitting in a meeting listening to people argue which font and font size should be used in an internal memo. I realised I had to leave, I just couldn't accept that as part of my life, sitting in meetings like that until retirement.

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Lovetosinglalala123 · 06/10/2018 01:59

Realising it doesn't matter how much of your free time you give, how much of yourself you give, how much joy and meaning you bring to other people's lives, there will always be someone who thinks that's not enough and will pick holes. Especially hurtful when you've been asking for ages for someone to take over that particular part of what you do.

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SpoonBlender · 06/10/2018 02:12

Another work one: It was "It's not that important". My stress levels dropped to the floor, I was doing exactly the same work and not striving for the impossible. As far as I can tell, it's actually made me better at my job as I'm no longer catastrophising and overthinking things. Just getting shit done.

A mid-teenage one: everyone else is too busy worrying about themselves to be looking at me and analysing my every move. Nobody is judging me for my dress, mannerisms, accent, carrying a SF paperback around with me at all times. Or even if they were, they're obviously shallow fucks who I don't ever need to care about the views of. Very freeing!

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winterhappiness · 06/10/2018 03:12

Lightbulb moment for me was when I finally realized I needed to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve. It made me so vulnerable in friendships.

I remember crying and crying and crying wondering why certain friends weren't being nice to me. I realized they don't really care about me, only care about themselves. I cried because it was the moment I finally decided to stop trusting them.

I obviously have some lovely friends, who have kind hearts. So it's not all doom and gloom Grin but these certain friends- Iv made peace knowing their true intentions. It's sad, an end to an era really. But a much much needed end Grin

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blackcat86 · 06/10/2018 03:40

Yes I've had a moment like this. I'd just told my boss I was 9 weeks pregnant as I had horrible morning sickness and had ready had an 8 week scan to confirm the pregnancy. It was the depths of winter during the beast from the east. I then got a horrible cold and chest infection. All I took was 2 days off of work but you'd think it was weeks. I had unkind comments about having been off and I couldn't I just take a day nurse and come in (eh no I'm pregnant). All 4 managers then caught the same bug having at least 4 days off each. I was in my car outside of a customer's amazing big house reading emails from one manager about how unwell another was and how we all need to support each other and I suddenly thought what the fuck am I doing. I get paid peanuts in social care, I feel terrible and under pressure and even though I'm pregnant I still haven't prioritised my own health...and for what...my job felt meaningless. I started a distance learning course in foot health so that I can set up a business once qualified and get out of the public sector. I'm half way though whilst off on mat leave with a 7 week old.

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Dontgiveamonkeys1350 · 06/10/2018 06:51

I worked my butt off for a competition at work. I stayed extra hours when no one did. Did displays and worked hours at home to get stuff done.

We won. And I will be bold and say 80% if winning was due to me. None of management said thankyou. And everyone got a big share of the prize and not one of them said thankyou either.

A few weeks later I was made fun of and be littled by these people. I left and never went back. Even worse people who I thought were friends there chucked me off the Facebook group we were on. Lesson learnt.

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Biancadelriosback · 06/10/2018 07:02

I had a moment's realisation very recently when I discovered what my company did! It's always been complicated and hard to explain without using case studies and just like that the other day it clicked! My boss thought if was hilarious!

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Biancadelriosback · 06/10/2018 07:03

Ps I've been there 6 months

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