To ask about your moments of realisation?

[Spanglylycra]

Driving to work yesterday. Sat in traffic at the lights I suddenly had a lightbulb moment about my job, a what the fuck am I doing wasting my time moment?!

This came after a few weeks very stressful and emotional that have been very full on at work. This week mildly better and I felt like I'd just hit a calm spot and thought that's it I've had enough, not stressed or upset just realised that's it and it's like a strange calm has come over me!

So I wondered if you have had a moment like this did you act upon the feeling and did it work?

I had no idea that so many people feel so bad about their workplace. Once I would have said leave but circumstances prevent that for many these days so my best wishes to you all. Be sure to take the occasional 'mental health day' from your sick leave and remember 'its only a job, not real life'.

In my 20's was complaining to an older woman I worked with about my dm being hurtful to me yet again (every time I saw/spoke to her), and my colleague said 'you know Postino, some people just aren't very nice'.

Mind. Blown.

How could it be that simple?! But it really was. Sad but so liberating.

As soon as it was financially possible I left my job as I found myself considering driving my car into a wall just to not have to face going in.

I also read a quote that said "once you stop caring you reach an whole new level of awesomeness". I realised I had spent years wasting my time & effort on people who offered me no support when I needed it all because I cared too much what opinion they had of me. I stop giving a shit, went NC & now have alot less stress in my life.

Another great quote ... don't swim oceans for people who wouldn't jump in puddles for you.

We'd had a pretty rough couple of years as a family, major changes, health etc etc MIL was being awful and I was talking to my very patient best friend on the phone. She put it like this:

We are born with a finite amount of fucks to give. At first it seems like you have loads, suitcases full, so you throw them around all over the place. Then the supply dwindles a bit, and then one day, you realise that you've only got a drawer full of fucks left to last your entire life. Do you really want to waste any more of them on her?

And I felt calm for the first time in years. Like the storm had stopped and I had a bit of clarity. I couldn't control all the stuff happening around me, but I could control my reaction and how much of myself I gave. It's quite liberating to check that drawer of fucks and decide that no, there are none to be given today.

Noeyedeer that is genius.

The day I realised that I could be in control of my life without fighting with the world. I spent years trying to be perfectly in control - literally warring with anybody who wanted or needed to do things differently. I realised one day after missing my brother's wedding, that I was the arsehole.

Something fundamental changed, like a switch. I was able to see, with clarity my factor in relationships. That realisation was huge. I learned kindness and flexibility.

It's been a liberating thing.

Realising that just because I had spent 30 years of my life doing a job that made me unhappy, was terribly stressful and frequently caused me not to be able to sleep at night. Similar to what another poster said I used to drive to work thinking that if I had an accident I wouldn't need to go in. I was doing shift work in a terribly difficult job and was exhausted. After one particularly gruelling nightshift that felt unsafe I just thought enough was enough and handed my notice in. I now do a much less stressful job that I love but pays an awful lot less but I have lost the anxiety and for once am enjoying life.

I came to realise that my value is not measured by how much I'm worth, and I don't need to spend beyond my means to give the illusion of a better lifestyle. I learnt to say no. Learnt to spend less, and now if I can't afford it, we don't have it. We live on the outside a very basic life, and actually look quite poor, but we owe not a penny to anyone (beyond the mortgage on a small flat in the rough end of town), and everything we own and do is ours.