Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my childminder should drop my children at school properly?

127 replies

ThatsSoFetch · 05/10/2018 19:11

I've had my current childminder for quite a while now - around 5 months. DD started with her first doing full time childcare and then DS started with her when DD started school. She has them both before and after school with the arrangement being that she drops both children at school at school by 8.55am. (Can drop off from 8.45am though) DD is 4 and is in reception, DS is 9 and in year 5.

I had a call from the head teacher this morning to say both children have said they have been dropped off on the car park that is next to the driveway but the access is almost at the top near the main road and left to walk up the school driveway by themselves. He said he didn't feel this was adequate due to DD's age and said really if I am paying for a childcare service, that isn't what should be happening. I agree - I'm pretty annoyed. Every other child is walked to the playground.

Now the driveway is quite busy, there is an entrance to a woods which leads off to several different fields, woods, housing estates and beyond. Basically an absolute minefield if you are 4 and decide to have a wander off. There is another school next door to my children's school too so as you can imagine, there are hundreds of parents and potentially god knows who else. No cars drive down the driveway though.

When I have on occasion dropped the children at school myself, I normally walk them onto the playground and see them into their classrooms to ensure they have got there safely.

Today was the first time I have heard this and indeed my children haven't told me - tonight I have asked them and they have said it happens every single time - I could have accepted today as being a one off but now I'm concerned about my children's safety.

AIBU to expect that my childminder should drop my children onto the playground the same as I (and other parents do with their children) do ?

OP posts:
DeadZed · 06/10/2018 11:04

I would be clear with the childminder = tell her the head teacher has phoned you as the school don't think it is acceptable and now you know about it you don't want it happening either. I don't know what other options you have in regarding child care. Will you struggle to find an alternative if the childminder cannot or will not do as you request?

SnorkFavour · 06/10/2018 11:20

If she cuts corners with safety in this way, you can be sure she is lax in others too

This with bells on!

YearOfYouRemember · 06/10/2018 14:05

Whether this is a good way for kids to learn street and road sense Hmm is beside the point. The children are not the child minders and the parent has not given permission for this to happen.

glagdy · 06/10/2018 14:11

I can't believe you aren't instantly sacking her!

She clearly doesn't care about your children.

I was a nanny for over 20 years and would thoroughly expect to be sacked and torn a new one if I done something so stupid.

Boofay · 06/10/2018 14:19

Haven't rtft, but another childminder here and I'm horrified! Who does that with a nine year old, let alone a four year old?! And a child in childcare!
Shocking display of safeguarding from here.
Probably been said over and over already, but children in our care must be within sight and/or hearing at all times. She is breaching her registration here.

Candymay · 06/10/2018 16:05

Awful! Can you start looking for a new minder? I can’t imagine leaving a little 4 year old to make their own way into school. I’ve been a childminder and a nanny and all of my children have been treated with my devotion. I’ve also used childminders and been let down. But never with a 4 year old. Good luck with the conversation.

Original poster
ThatsSoFetch · 06/10/2018 17:22

Thanks everyone! I've spoken to my kids dad - we aren't together - and he equally is furious. I'm texting childminder now - I'll let you know the reply!

OP posts:
5BlueHydrangea · 06/10/2018 17:36

Call don't text...

Littleredhouse · 06/10/2018 17:39

I would call too. Texting gives her time to make something up

Failingat40 · 06/10/2018 17:39

Texting!?

Wtf

Surely this needs a sit down meeting?

You need to call her and arrange to speak to her asap.

Thatstheendofmytether · 06/10/2018 17:44

I don't really think there will be any excuse she could make up that will be acceptable for what she has done to be fair.

SauvignonBlanche · 06/10/2018 17:47

Don’t text!

Original poster
ThatsSoFetch · 06/10/2018 17:52

I know she is out with family at the moment and I wanted an actual written response

OP posts:
tigwig76 · 06/10/2018 18:03

By texting she will have chance to think of an excuse or what she considers an acceptable explanation before replying.
But there isn't one. I'm a CM and in some cases with written parental permission you would be allowed to do this with a child who is of acceptable age and considered mature enough. Like a 10 or 11 year old in Yr 6 and above.
Absolutely no way even with parental permission would you be allowed to do what she has hence the call from HT.
You are perfectly within your rights to terminate the contract with immediate effect as she has breached the safeguarding regulations and report to Ofsted who will take it very seriously and probably suspend her while they investigate.
Whether you choose to do this is up to you obviously. I would be very concerned that if she can blatantly breach such an important thing that there may be other areas she also fails in.

Fiveletters · 06/10/2018 18:11

Definitely not acceptable. My children wouldn’t be going back there. It would make me wonder what else she is getting away with.

Original poster
ThatsSoFetch · 06/10/2018 18:40

I have said she must drop them onto playground and see into their class in future. She has said she will do that in future - hasn't denied what has happened though!!!!!! I'm really annoyed but I have limited options as there are no other minders in the area with space for 2 and there is a huge waiting list for the school run club!!! I'll put my kids names down on Monday though!

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 06/10/2018 18:50

Sorry I don't think what she has replied with is reasonable. Perhaps if there was a really good reason for doing it as a strictly one odd I might forgive her but she clearly thinks it's ok so her judgement is completely wrong.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 06/10/2018 19:07

Are there any other mums you could do a reciprocal pick up/drop off? (Apologies if you’re working full time and I’ve missed that)

Maybe ask around the other mums. There’s always someone who knows all the ins and outs and if a childminders got space. Does your council have a list of registered cms?

What did she give as her reasoning for doing it? Did the head say the children had been left every day (I’m assuming since sept)? I know you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place I just don’t think I could trust her with my kids again.

Original poster
ThatsSoFetch · 06/10/2018 19:26

I really am stuck between a rock and a hard place with it. I'm starting dropping my kids at school on Thursdays initially (due to arrangements with my ex on Thursday mornings) and my new job I start in 2 weeks has a start time of 9am rather than 8.30am at my current job. So I'll test Thursdays out - if it's working out feasible for me to drop them myself then I'll do that. But will be discussing in more detail the situation that has been occurring on Monday morning - like I say once I could probably be ok with. And my 9 year old is capable of walking himself into school - I've done the same drop off on the driveway myself with him once he had settled into school (he only started there last year due to house move) but DD I changed my hours at work temporarily to take her myself for the first 2 weeks! So I would expect my cm to do the same and look after her like I do. I'll be keeping a closer eye in future. Both kids like going to hers after school - no issues with her care in the evenings!

OP posts:
woolduvet · 06/10/2018 20:48

Did you mention the head had rung you?

SpottingTheZebras · 06/10/2018 21:00

I have said she must drop them onto playground and see into their class in future. She has said she will do that in future - hasn't denied what has happened though!!!!!!

Surely it would be much worse if she did deny it because then she would be a liar as well.

HungryHippoMummy · 06/10/2018 21:18

I'm usually really laid back about this kind of thing (disabled mum, big sister walked me to school at those ages) but even I am horrified at this. You don't drop a 4year old in a car park! And what mums gauge their own kids are able to do safely is up to them, a cm should absolutely be doing their job properly. Perhaps if the school are concerned enough they might be able to bump your kids up the club queue if you explain there's no other childminders?

EwItsAHooman · 06/10/2018 21:28

The 9yo is a seperate issue as I see it. At our school the children are allowed to walk themselves to/from school and stay in the yard by themselves from year four then when they start middle school in year five it is assumed by school that this is what they do, parents aren't allowed into the yard before or after school. So at 9 I'd expect a child to be able to sensibily go up/down the hill on their own.

The 4yo though should have an adult taking them in and waiting with them until the doors open and the teacher takes over.

Is there a possibility it's been crossed wires, perhaps her previous mindees were allowed to walk in by themselves so she's presumed you'd be happy to do the same? Either way, she's now agreed to walk them in the door. I'd check with your DC to make sure that she actually is and seeing as you're happy with the rest of the care she's providing then that's hopefully the issue resolved and everything will be fine from here on in.

tigwig76 · 06/10/2018 22:34

The thing is what you would do as a parent is entirely different to how a childminder has to do things. I agree I would let a 9 year old walk into school alone in the situation described. But as a CM no way. And NEVER a 4 yr old.You simply cannot do that as you are following strict regulations that young children must be within sight or hearing and preferably both at all times. As much as it's convenient and more than likely the children will come to no harm you cannot do it. OP I cannot believe your CM appears to have no worries at all about doing this. If this was reported to Ofsted she would be suspended.

PeachyKeenJellymonster · 06/10/2018 22:48

That's terrible op
I would not accept this and I would not provide this care to minded children