Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my childminder should drop my children at school properly?

127 replies

ThatsSoFetch · 05/10/2018 19:11

I've had my current childminder for quite a while now - around 5 months. DD started with her first doing full time childcare and then DS started with her when DD started school. She has them both before and after school with the arrangement being that she drops both children at school at school by 8.55am. (Can drop off from 8.45am though) DD is 4 and is in reception, DS is 9 and in year 5.

I had a call from the head teacher this morning to say both children have said they have been dropped off on the car park that is next to the driveway but the access is almost at the top near the main road and left to walk up the school driveway by themselves. He said he didn't feel this was adequate due to DD's age and said really if I am paying for a childcare service, that isn't what should be happening. I agree - I'm pretty annoyed. Every other child is walked to the playground.

Now the driveway is quite busy, there is an entrance to a woods which leads off to several different fields, woods, housing estates and beyond. Basically an absolute minefield if you are 4 and decide to have a wander off. There is another school next door to my children's school too so as you can imagine, there are hundreds of parents and potentially god knows who else. No cars drive down the driveway though.

When I have on occasion dropped the children at school myself, I normally walk them onto the playground and see them into their classrooms to ensure they have got there safely.

Today was the first time I have heard this and indeed my children haven't told me - tonight I have asked them and they have said it happens every single time - I could have accepted today as being a one off but now I'm concerned about my children's safety.

AIBU to expect that my childminder should drop my children onto the playground the same as I (and other parents do with their children) do ?

OP posts:
OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 05/10/2018 19:55

I am Mrs Laid-back, and yet I don't feel this is acceptable.

Why is she dropping them at the end of the driveway? Does she have other children to deal with? Not that that's an excuse; if she can't drop yours properly, then she shouldn't have taken them on.

CantankerousCamel · 05/10/2018 19:55

This wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. My 8 year old walks to the shop (over a road shock horror) and next year will walk his little 7 year old (then) brother with him.

I don’t know what you expect to happen to them in the couple of minutes before they hit school, but it is actually good for children to have a little bit of street sense. This sounds to me like the perfect way to get it

masktaster · 05/10/2018 19:56

Absolutely not good enough.

When I was about 6 (hazy here), I had a childminder/babysitter (don't know the real specifics, but he minded me a lot) who would drop me in the playground and leave. I have distinct memories of, at least once, turning back around out of the school gate and playing in the local park for a little while before going into school again. I don't remember the consequences or if this was ever discovered. As an adult, this horrifies me.

Anything could happen.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 05/10/2018 19:56

Cantankerous camel - what about the four year old who’s just started reception?

BanginChoons · 05/10/2018 20:00

I wouldn't be happy with this at all.

Original poster
ThatsSoFetch · 05/10/2018 20:01

I just don't understand it. She has maximum 2 little ones during the day. I have a feeling her own children's school drop offs are prioritised. Admittedly when I minded I wouldn't take on children who weren't at DS 's school. Her older child is at secondary school - whilst I understand it's her choice, surely this child is old enough to get a bus to school?

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 05/10/2018 20:02

YANBU

spiderlight · 05/10/2018 20:03

I would be finding a new childminder and reporting this one to Ofsted. That is a massive, massive breach of trust. We weren't allowed to leave children unattended in the playground until Y5, and certainly not a new Reception starter!!

AtrociousCircumstance · 05/10/2018 20:03

Surely you aren’t going to continue using her?

If she cuts corners with safety in this way, you can be sure she is lax in others too.

Angry
WaxOnFeckOff · 05/10/2018 20:06

CantankerousCamel and do you think that it's the childminders decision to make? What we do or don't do with our own DC is one thing, but a childminder should only be acting under the parents instruction (as well as the law etc obvs) if the Childminder had cleared it with the parent to do drop off in the driveway then that's a different matter.

Dollymixture22 · 05/10/2018 20:06

Have you contacted her? If you are going to continue using her (which I’m not sure I would) you need to be sure this won’t happen on Monday morning

BIgBagofJelly · 05/10/2018 20:06

I misread your original post and thought you only had a 9 year old in school - I thought well it's not ideal but you can just tell her to drop the child all the way into school. However I'd seriously question the judgement of someone who thought this was an appropriate way to drop a 4 year old at school. Unbelievable.

LondonElle · 05/10/2018 20:11

Incredibly relaxed parent of 4 here, I would be fuming with any childminder leaving a 4 year old to do this and giving sole responsibility to a older sibing.... the 9 year old doing it by themselves I would have no issue with at all... but a 4 year old... no never!!

Original poster
ThatsSoFetch · 05/10/2018 20:12

Honestly I'm fizzing about it. I'm broaching it this weekend with minder. She either takes them into school like I do or I'm withdrawing them.

OP posts:
Beanbag12 · 05/10/2018 20:15

She is being totally unreasonable. My DS has just started reception also and all of the parents/carers settle them in the classroom. By year 1 we’re encouraged to see them to the classroom door to settle themselves. My little boy goes to a breakfast club actually in the same school and still the lady takes him in the classroom, makes sure he puts his drink/snack/PE kit etc in the correct places. I would be so upset and cross if I were you.

Myshinynewname · 05/10/2018 20:21

It’s scary that her judgement is so out on this - taking a reception aged child right up to school seems like such basic common sense - that I would be concerned what else she does with them tbh.

AtrociousCircumstance · 05/10/2018 20:28

I’d withdraw them anyway. As I said if she cuts corners like this you cannot trust her.

Do not inflict an inadequate caregiver on your kids. She has shown herself to be just that.

Tatiebee · 05/10/2018 20:29

You need to speak to your childminder and let her know you're not happy.

NotMyNameButHereForever · 05/10/2018 20:34

I'd be concerned about what other corners she's been cutting TBH, banking (reasonably) that your DC are too young to report back to you as they won't grasp what is/is not ok.

I'd have a long conv with DC before speaking to her to draw out as much information about their time with her, you might not be having a conv re drop off but about moving to another CM.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/10/2018 20:47

Yes obv she should take to playground

The fact the ht contacted you means it isn’t ok

I’m wondering if she has young ones in the car and cba to get them all out/buggy etc

pappajonessecretchild · 05/10/2018 21:44

this is far to much responsibility for the 9 year old, if the 4 year old decided to follow a cat or fall over, how would the 9 year old cope, that is a carers role. this clearly felt wrong to the head teacher enough to phone you. that is a clear indicator that it is not right. i would be finding a new childminder who has some commonsense.

Mehaveit · 05/10/2018 21:51

My friend sacked her nanny for exactly this. Where does the CM have to be that's more important than seeing your children into the school?

Saracen · 06/10/2018 01:07

I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea for a 9yo to walk a 4yo this short distance. But it isn't something a CM can assume would be acceptable to parents. The CM should certainly have asked you first whether you were okay with it. I can't believe it didn't cross her mind that you might object.

C0untDucku1a · 06/10/2018 01:13

Have you other options op? I just wouldn't trust her again.

Canuckduck · 06/10/2018 04:06

The childminder isn’t doing what you expected. Either you weren’t in explicit agreement or she’s being dishonest. You need to have a chat.

But I wouldn’t be in a state about a 9 year old walking a 4 year old down a drive. Surely if the 4 year old ran off the 9 year old would alert someone. I often let me 9 year old walk down the street and into school with my 5 year old.