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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my childminder should drop my children at school properly?

127 replies

ThatsSoFetch · 05/10/2018 19:11

I've had my current childminder for quite a while now - around 5 months. DD started with her first doing full time childcare and then DS started with her when DD started school. She has them both before and after school with the arrangement being that she drops both children at school at school by 8.55am. (Can drop off from 8.45am though) DD is 4 and is in reception, DS is 9 and in year 5.

I had a call from the head teacher this morning to say both children have said they have been dropped off on the car park that is next to the driveway but the access is almost at the top near the main road and left to walk up the school driveway by themselves. He said he didn't feel this was adequate due to DD's age and said really if I am paying for a childcare service, that isn't what should be happening. I agree - I'm pretty annoyed. Every other child is walked to the playground.

Now the driveway is quite busy, there is an entrance to a woods which leads off to several different fields, woods, housing estates and beyond. Basically an absolute minefield if you are 4 and decide to have a wander off. There is another school next door to my children's school too so as you can imagine, there are hundreds of parents and potentially god knows who else. No cars drive down the driveway though.

When I have on occasion dropped the children at school myself, I normally walk them onto the playground and see them into their classrooms to ensure they have got there safely.

Today was the first time I have heard this and indeed my children haven't told me - tonight I have asked them and they have said it happens every single time - I could have accepted today as being a one off but now I'm concerned about my children's safety.

AIBU to expect that my childminder should drop my children onto the playground the same as I (and other parents do with their children) do ?

OP posts:
flumpybear · 06/10/2018 04:45

I would t give her an opportunity again as she'd have been sacked! She's lazy and doesn't care about your children's welfare - she'd be out and reported

bastardkitty · 06/10/2018 04:50

There's nothing to discuss really. I would ask her to confirm that this is what she has done and record her doing so, terminate for breach of contract and report to Ofsted.

ilooovechristmas · 06/10/2018 05:05

You really need to report her to Ofsted this is SO dangerous and if social services got a wif of it YOU would be the one questioned first

CaramelEmporium · 06/10/2018 06:06

Ditto PP. There is nothing to debate/explain, you’d be negligent to even consider keeping her on!

GaraMedouar · 06/10/2018 06:11

Not acceptable. The 4 year old especially should be walked to the door.

Ivegotthisme · 06/10/2018 06:51

You need to find a new CM. The safety of your children comes first.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 06/10/2018 07:01

The childminder is doing this because, in essence, she doesn't give a fuck about your kids. No-one with an ounce of care for a child would allow a 4 year old to find their way into school by themselves.

Not the sort of person you want in charge of your dc.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 06/10/2018 08:28

What sort of cm thinks a 9 year old should be in charge of a 4 year old? If it was a single 9 year old I think (with permission) that would be fine. But I have massive reservations about a child being left in charge of another child.

Would you let a 9 year old babysit?

Frankly she’s prioritising her own kids who need to be dropped off. I can’t see any way round it. She’s not someone I would trust with my kids.

WerewolfNumber1 · 06/10/2018 08:44

I’d withdraw them (without notice) for this.

If she will do this, she will take other stupid risks with your children’s safety.

Text or email asking her to clarify how she drops the children at school.

If she admits it, send that proof to ofsted.

If she denies it, ask the headteacher to confirm what they’ve seen be send that to ofsted.

She shouldn’t be a childminder at all.

Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 06/10/2018 08:49

Hopefully when you tell her that the head teacher had to call you, she will get enough of a shock to do it properly. But if you can, take a couple of mornings odd work and pop down to the school to watch what she does.

MrsMotherHen · 06/10/2018 08:52

ask her first where she drops them see what she says then get rid of her i wouldn't trust her again.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 06/10/2018 08:54

Just tell the CM and say school have complained ? She either changes or you get a new one

Foodylicious · 06/10/2018 08:56

Are the school happy to have any unsupervised little ones in the playground at all?
I know some offer supervised 10-15 minutes playground duty before school, but surely that would need a grown actually waking that child in to the play ground first.

I would ask her directly on the phone or face to face, not by text. Her reaction will tell you alot
To be honest, what ever she said or agreed to do now, I would still look for alternative childcare.
It could well be accurate reflection of her ability to risk assess any situation in and out of the home.

I would have a chat with school about reporting to ofstead too. They may have already done So?

woolduvet · 06/10/2018 09:03

Ex childminder
Children should be within sight or hearing at all times, and that should happen until she hands them over to staff in school.
I'd imagine she couldn't be arsed getting the other ch out of the car or had forgotten a pram etc.
Ofsted would be interested.

Littletabbyocelot · 06/10/2018 09:03

If at all feasible I'd withdraw them with no notice. For two reasons: Firstly, you need a childminder you can trust to make safe choices - if you have to monitor fairly basic safety from a distance then she isn't a safe choice. Secondly, I imagine the school will want to know you've taken it seriously and if it occurs again I think the 2nd call from the head would go differently.

gothefcktosleep · 06/10/2018 09:12

Makes me feel a little sick thinking of your little 4 yr old walking by herself bless her heart.

Hope you can resolve the issue with the minder. Glad the HT called you.

AJPTaylor · 06/10/2018 09:15

I think that the risk assessments we do as parents are not relevant. You are paying a childminder to take your child to school. Plain common sense says that this means seeing the 9 year old into the playground and the little one to the door.
That is what you would do, even if they were a friends kids and you were doing it as a favour. Its your responsibilty the minute they come into your care.
If childminding is your job......

Onecutefox · 06/10/2018 09:16

No way she would be working for me again. In fact she she shouldn't be a childminder if she is that irresponsible. She put your children in danger OP. Please don't take her back. You have a reason to sack her. Also if you continue using her the school will think there also something wrong with the parents.

PumpkinPie2016 · 06/10/2018 09:22

I'd be furious! DH takes our son to school as I work but he (and everyone else) have to take the children into the playground and wait with them until the teacher comes out to get them.

No way would I want a 4 year old walking themselves into school. Even at 9 I wouldn't really want it to happen but as a one off it might not be as bad. A 9 year old shouldn't be left in charge of getting a 4 year old into school either.

I would look for someone else or is there a breakfast/after school club you can use?

Onecutefox · 06/10/2018 09:24

OP, the school HT talking to you should run the bells. If you continue using the same childminder the school may report you to the SS.

Crankywitch · 06/10/2018 09:25

Most of the responses seen totally hysterical to me. I happen to think it is good for the 9 year old to walk the 4 year old a little of the way, so long as the 9 year old is told to be safe and make sure the 4 year old gets to the class. That's how to cultivate good sibling relationships ime

mumsastudent · 06/10/2018 09:26

when I was childminding & 1 of the minded children got into different school another cm & I organised an on route swap of children (with parents knowledge & permission!) so both sets of children were taken into school safely

Onecutefox · 06/10/2018 09:27

"ring the bells"

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 06/10/2018 09:30

Crankywitch - I have such a bug bear with kids being given adult responsibilities. I see it a lot with big families where the eldest essentially becomes a parent to their younger siblings. It’s too much for a small child. At 9 the boy shouldn’t be left alone by himself let alone be left in sole charge of a 4 year old.

Like I said, properly monitored and with permission from the school it’d be fine for the 9 year old to walk the path himself. That’s teaching responsibility.

Dollymixture22 · 06/10/2018 09:30

Cranky witch I agree if it’s safe and the older child is responsible. But it’s the parents call, not the childminder.

The principal obviously saw a situation which he felt was unsafe, so the 9 year old might not be mature enough to do this

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