that school won’t cut me any slack for double drop offs?

[Polkadotdash]

We moved house in the summer and we’ve ended up with three kids at two different primary schools. I accept that it is what it is and we have to just fit in where there are places. However, after a month of nearly killing myself to drop kids off at both schools, two miles apart who start at exactly the same time, I’ve asked both schools if they can help to take the pressure off me by accepting one child five mins early and maybe dropping the late mark drama for the other children. Neither school will budge. One school has a breakfast club which they’ve suggested I use for £5 a day. £25 per week, nearly £1000 per school year for five mins care (no food required). I can’t afford this.
It’s all been capped off today by one parent (who I don’t know) shouting something at me about the importance of not being late when I was trying to make my four year old run up the hill to school. I can’t put up with this for the next 5 years. What should I do? Should the school be more caring?

Op moved house knowing the school situation would be problematic. There is no way I'd have my kids in different primary schools. Sod that

OpiningGambit my DC's school's gates open at 8.40 for an 8.50 start too. It's since it was academised. I've no idea what the reasoning behind it is.

I would therefore be applying for your Reception child to be moving to the school your 7yo is at. Once your Y6 goes to secondary school they should be making their own way, or able to be dropped off early and wait.

Plus if Reception child gets a place with 7yo sooner, you could leave your Y6 at the gates to wait, while you drop the younger two on time. Not ideal but a Y6 child should be able to wait for 15mins.

Otherwise, I'd be talking to the Y3 school about a subsidised breakfast club place until your Reception age child has a place or he'll be late every day. Drop Y6 and Reception first, then Y3 child. School won't be able to ignore the late mark, they have to mark as late if you are, they can't fudge the figures. At least having a reason will help them explain it.

This could only last one year at most. So while you'll still late (123 banana) you will have to think which child will have to move as he gains priority for having a sibling in a school. Once the year 6 leave you have no leverage. One child has to move to fix the equation. Otherwise team up, we can do so much things when we are not alone. You badly need the help of another parent that might be why you hurt so much when that parent was so nasty. Reach out. You can do this. It's less difficult then the school run mind you. And big hugs to you. again big hugs, yet again big hugs. I think you need more hugs than anything right now. You are more than able to find a solution, and get things sorted out before the October break. The school is right in a sense : This cannot go on for your own good and your kids. Big hugs.

You could put in an appeal for the year 3 child, as it isn’t a infant class size appeal they are easier to win. Make sure your year R child is on the waiting list at the year 3’s linked infant school. Then see what you can negotiate for breakfast club at both schools and explain you are doing what you can to get them all into one school. Otherwise you have this situation for another two years or whenever you feel you can leave the oldest to wait and make their own way in.

Why don’t you just keep the yr 3 at home until a space comes up at the same school as siblings? Sorry if you are working I’ve not seen anything about that.
We’ve moved quite a bit and I’ve had experience of many primary schools and they vary so much in what they offer and how they are run. Breakfast clubs vary from £1-£5 and equally vary from a pleasant experience and a terrible one!!
I had to juggle 2 schools for 3 years and it is not fun. I found it hard to get to know parents at either school but my timings were slightly different, it was a nightmare and due to SEN.
The last school my kids were at was lovely, the class opened at 8.40am but the bell at 9am, so kids had an extra 20 mins of time available. The new School the doors open 5 mins before the bell.
If you knew when you moved it would be a problem you have been foolish in accepting both Schools as presumably you checked the times. I’m assuming you prefer one over the other?
You can either pull yr 3 out and wait for a space or remove the reception so you can leave the yr 6 to wait to go in. In my opinion it’s really silly to have reception and yr 3 at different schools as you are looking at 3 yrs of this.

I would presume op had good reasons for moving and did not make this decision lightly

It seems to me that all three children need to go to the school that will take all of them even though it is "too far away" . They can make friends locally through clubs, in the park, playing out.

The rushing and stress isn't good for anyone and you have three years of this.

If you really can't do that then it's a matter of reiterating to everyone that you can't be in two places at once and you can't afford the club. If the attendance officer becomes involved tgey might come up with a workable plan.

The moving is not the issue, it’s accepting the schools knowing it would be impossible to be on time. It’s not fair for any child to be late every day. It’s disruptive and feels horrible. While we were juggling 2 schools (waited a month for a space) the schools were amazingly unhelpful. The schools were 2 miles apart but the route made it 20 mins, one child was always late, no friends went to breakfast club and the shame of being late was awful. When we moved again we waited for a space.

Can you afford breakfast clubs for any mornings? I would be inclined to use it for 1 or 2 (if that's affordable and assuming you aren't required to take a full week) as then you can be shown to be doing what you can to the limit you can afford to do it. You'd also have a couple of mornings a week when you're not charging around.

Is the Yr3 child at a juniors school that starts at Yr3, or does it a primary from reception/or has a linked infants?

Can you not drop Y6 dc off early. Mine used to go into school early or walk

The Yr6 is at the same school as the reception age child.

I do have sympathy but there are a lot of buts here.

You do have options
1- to move to school where they can take the 3 . Even though you think too far away. They could make friends through groups swimming , Cubs etc.
2- appeal the year 3 child/ put on waiting list . You don’t want to
3- find childminder May be cheaper. You have made no comment
4- pay breakfast club- you can’t afford it
5- remove reception child from school till space is available.
6- find a job to pay for breakfast club ( not sure if you work once children are at school?

I do see setting into school important this is part of the social aspect.

I don’t think you have other options really. Parenting we sometimes pay for things we don’t want to. I think the fact you think of it in terms of what you would pay a year make it seem high£25 a week seems more manageable.

Sorry just saw reception dc there too.

What a nightmare. The local authority should be more helpful

Starlight345
You've got it there.

Plus if any of the OP's children qualify for pupil premium then it might be worth talking to the school about some support towards breakfast club costs.

As for people saying 'breakfast doesn't cost much / ask for a discount because you're not having breakfast / ask for a discount because you only want 5 minutes', that's not what the costs are for. The main cost of wrap around care is staffing. The staffing costs are the same whether 1 child does 5 minutes with no breakfast, another uses 30 minutes, another does 15 minutes.

Sadly, moving to an area where they have separate infants/juniors and you have 3 kids, then the issue of different schools is sort of inevitable.

You're getting a bit of a hard time on here OP. I really feel for you it must be incredbly stressful, and the sanctimummy comment at the school was ridiculous.

YANUB OP, and I think you need to take it up with the LEA and with your MP if necessary. It is not your fault that your DC have ended up in different schools and it is a reason why siblings are given higher priority usually. You need to ask them to find a way to get the siblings together if possible, which would mean probably the year 5 moving school.

Your best option is to find another mum where you can drop your child off for ten minutes to give you time to get to the other school each day. I used to have my neighbours child every day for half an hour before school so that she could get to work on time.

Our school only lets them in 10 minutes before start time too. Another local town opened a new school and has staggered times, so one primary starts at 8.30am and the other at 9am, to avoid exactly the problem that you are facing .

I hope that you manage to sort it out.

There are a lot of misunderstandings on this thread and an awful lot of people who don't know what they are talking about.

When I had this problem (primary and junior school at 2 different locations with same start times.) I did ask for help but got none. All the children in eldest DDS class were either only children or had other relatives helping in the morning. Not one said they would keep an eye out for DD whilst I went to deliver ds to school.

Some of the replies were "Why doesn't your h/sister/brother/mother/father etc help"
I don't have family and dp works away 2 weeks in 4

To a straight "No" or "Can't you get a child minder"

There wasn't a breakfast club .

It wasn't my choice of school as I saw this exact scenario happening

This situation is annoyingly common where I live. Lots of separate infant and juniors that work together but aren't classed as linked where the juniors do not have enough places to match the infants moving up.

A friend of mine was allocated a place in non of her 3 choices and instead was expected to get her dd to a school 5 miles away from her ds and both schools started at the exact same time with no breakfast club running at all.

The council have done this to you OP, however they won't accept the financial arguement of not using breakfast club at a guess.

You either need to keep appealing to get all 3 in one school and accept the late marks - it will help your appeal case. Or you need to find some way of affording the breakfast club.

I still get that it would be easier if the schools started at different times.
But I just can't get my head round "appeal and they'll find room for him".
Surely there's laws about how many kids are allowed in one class for staffing and space reasons.
Surely you can appeal all you like but if there's no room, there's no room.
And op doesn't want her kid to move anyway.
No school just leaves spaces open incase someone moves into the area, it's hard enough fitting the kids already living there into the schools.

That’s why the year 3 appeal would be better infants are much more firm on numbers

Can't believe that there is so much debate over a situation that is largely outside the OP's control.

In most of Europe your kids go to their local school (which has to accommodate them and usually provides transport if required) and you don't get this sort of nonsense.

However given the age of the youngest - who wouldn't be in formal schooling in most countries - then being 5 mins late is annoying but not a drama. Put it in writing to the school, then it's in their court. You can't physically be in 2 places at once.

I suggested an appeal because it worked for us. Our year 1 class only accepted 23 children and said that was their limit. I put in an appeal for an in year admission and won because I already had a DS in the school. I had to prepare a case and go up before a panel. The LA had someone there to argue against me and present their case for no.

So it can work sometimes and unless you try then you won't know.

honestly I wouldnt agree to look after someones kid in the play ground who i didnt know as the op said she doesnt know any of the parents. I would say no as I wouldnt want to be responsible for someones child when i dont know the parent.

get your yr6 to watch the youngest till they go in?