To think my dad shouldn't treat me like this ?

[lrachel044]

My dad has always had the ability to turn nasty and has done over the years.
Today I went to he's and I said I'm just popping to the loo can you cut along that voucher for me (it was a boots 30% off a gift ) and he had the scissors,I said just where the dots are.
I got back down and he had cut the voucher but cut through the barcode so it was no good.

I said you've cut the voucher wrong,you've cut the barcode and I won't be able to use it now.
He said I had told him wrong and I was to blame then he threw it in the bin..I said why are you going on like that and he grabbed some sweets and biscuits I bought him out of the cupboard and threw them outside ..and said I want nothing from you now after this morning.
We are finished,next time you ring I won't answer.
I said you made a mistake yet I'm to blame ?
He said he wasn't to blame and I was in the wrong then was screaming in my face.
This is always how he reacts..
He then went on to say I had now caused him to have a headache and we were finished.
I don't understand

Thats werid, is he elderly and coming down with something? and infection maybe, it can relly affect their behaviour and mood.
If he's always been this way I'd walk away, keep contact casual and don't bother asking him for anything or offering him any help anymore.

He has always been like this.
Since I was a kid.
He never can just say he made a mistake.

He sounds a complete child and a waste of time - what does he add to your life? I would take him at his word and don't contact him. I'd bet he'll be back on the phone to you within a fortnight. In which case just tell him you thought he'd decided you were finished and you were OK with that as you are tired of his tantrums.

He has more to lose really than you do, but honestly, who doesn't know how to cut along dotted lines? You buy him sweets and biscuits etc and he throws them away - he sounds like a petulant toddler. Save your money next time

Seriously, why do you want that negativity in your life? We are currently NC with both my dad and DPs parents.

No dramas, no hassle. Never been happier.

It really gets me down.
It's like mental torture sometimes.
When I was little he would say I've spoilt the holiday and it was all my fault ..we would never go on holiday again because of me.

I always do nice things for him.
If I'm shopping and I see a nice jumper..il buy him it.
Or his fav sweets but everything is thrown back in my face when I do something "wrong"

He is wrong.
You don't need this in your life IMO.

Stop doing things for him.
Sorry OP, for you

He sounds like an emotional bully. Limit your contact time and stand up to him. He does it because he can.

The behaviour you describe is what I would expect from my DDs of 9 and 6. I'm sorry, but your F won't change now, so I honestly would cut him out of your life.

I'm so sorry you've had to cope with all that, OP.

Take charge OP.
Don't phone him.
Don't visit.
No contact on social media - block him or let him block you first.
Don't buy him anything. If you see something he would like, walk past and spend your money on something nice for you.
Leave any contact to him, and when he does contact you (and he will, because he is used to you running round after him to win his approval) tell him you have had enough of being blamed for nothing and treated like dirt. HE wanted to cut contact - and that's what he's got.

By the way, you never will get his approval because it's more fun for him to let you suffer, run round buying him treats to get in his good books, and take his temper out on you.

I can't explain how much this man-child has annoyed me and I don't even know him.

My DF is like this. My entire life (I'm late 40s now) he has never apologised for anything - he always manages to turn it around so it's my fault. I had an argument with him a few years ago over something he did which resulted in my young DS getting hurt: he stopped talking to me and whenever I entered a room he would walk out. It got that my DM was trying to get ME to apologise to him for upsetting him. When I was a young child he would shout and hit me if I did anything 'wrong', and when I got to my teens he changed tack and would try and humiliate and goad me. He's actually very old now, and I still see it every now and again: this venomous, bitchy attitude when he feels attacked. I don't have much to do with him now: my DM fusses around him and I think part of the problem is that she never called him out on his treatment of his DDs - or of herself - and so he thinks he's always in the right. Your DF will never change. Stop doing things for him - you are enabling his behaviour by showing that he can be poisonous towards you, but you will come back for more, usually with a present.

My dad is like this too.

I grew up in a home where he would slam doors on me, give me the silent treatment for weeks/months and tell me "we are finished" any time we had an argument. I was just a hormonal teenager... I never did anything wrong really.

I've gone NC for now because he is a selfish pig. I don't miss him. He adds nothing to my life but constant criticism and in cutting him off, the relief has been immense. It is upsetting, but the long term gains far outweigh all the drama.

Call his bluff and take the opportunity to rid yourself of hima and his bullying behaviour.
You don’t have to be his emotional punch bag for the rest of your life.

Stop doing anything for him!

My father was is the same, It is his way or the highway. The over thinking of what have i done now will forever be in my mind. Thankfully he lives 4hrs away from me now so visiting is very limited.

Op I would opt for nc going forward. Life is too short for his dramas.

Don't tolerate it. It's bullying.

OP - that sort of thing would damage a child for life, and I think this might be the case for you. The way you write about it, as if rather than him just being a fucking arsehole, there might be a reasonable explanation for it, a solution.

Did your mum ever challenge him? Where is she now? He is a despicable bully; you need to go NC but maybe you would consider looking into counselling? Do you have respectful relationships with other people in general?

My father is like this. It's just crude emotional manipulation. I am now totally emotionally detached but I needed therapy to see why the behaviour was unreasonable and not normal. Good luck to you.

You don't need this abusive arsehole in your life. He may be your dad but he certainly doesn't behave like one.

As PP have said go NC.

Obvious issues aside, the voucher will still be useable as cashier can just type in the number if it wont scan.

I suffer from anxiety today and after this morning have had massive panic attacks where I thought I was having a heart attack.
Things he says makes me ill,I can't take any emotional upset.

Not a lot of advice I can offer other than to say I have a family member who although to be fair in his case avoids conflict as much as he can to the extent it actually causes rows , probably because of this) has exactly the same reaction when he makes a public mistake, and rows in exactly the same way. He has been known to push male relatives out of his house physically, when they stand up to him (then say they assaulted him physically and he had to do this, irrespective of how many witnesses were there) and pointed out his error, he's called me at work and said things that I was not involved in were my fault and he wanted nothing to do with me , I always fight back so we usually end up in shouting match. which I hate but I refuse to let him just take out his bad temper or annoyance at something minor at me- but to be honest I know if I didn't it would just blow over much quicker. But I don't know if this applies to your dad, but a few days latter pretends nothing was ever said, will do something nice for one of my kids, he likes to pretend nothing happened , that used to get to me, and I have on a few of the worst occasions called him on it and have had grudging apologies. I've also had to be the peace broker when other family members don't want to talk to him again, and I have found it easier( slightly...)to get him to apologise then, but usually at best its i'm sorry you misunderstood what I said.. so you have my sympathy there is no reasoning with them and you'll never understand it 'cos it doesn't make sense, but I can only hope for you when he's not like this maybe he's funny, or kind or good at DIY, you fill in blanks..

I kniw its your Dad but why keep in contact if this is how he makes you feel?

My mum is dead,she passed away when I was 11.
When was 9-10 my dad used to always say he was leaving my mum.
About 8 years ago I still lived at home.
One occasion I had flu and I was lying on the sofa in my pjs feeling ill,he said I was lying and he dragged me outside.
Then told the neighbours I was making his life miserable ..and they all turned against Me.
Didn't look at me in the street.
He would say all these nasty things and I would loose my temper and cry then he would say ..look at you,can you not see what your doing,you need professional help,it's not normal to cry like that,I only cried like that and got angry because of him.