The school run - what on earth?!

[Livelovelearn123]

Just looking for views on how you deal with the school run and other parents. Before the school run I was more open minded, at least I didnt want to appear rude so would smile in the direction of people I knew, talk to people at baby groups etc. Due to a few bad experiences with some parents, one who was a real stirrer and caused a lot of issues amongst a few class parents, and some that befriended parents for person gain, or to sell their products to, I feel quite nervy about the school run. Oh, and quite bizarrely, some that friend you on social media and then ignore you on the school run! What is that about? I have started to keep my head down and talk less to people, which may just be normal I’m not sure 😁.

I don’t actually know why I’m that bothered about this, I have lovely out of school friends, work friends and a few friends in the class.

Just looking for reassurance and for views on what is normal!

[Livelovelearn123]

It looksabitoff I like your style, I think to not GAF is the way forward 😂

[Wolfiefan]

My child always appears to be last out. Some lovely parents but also some bloody horrible ones. I now have a great big hound who does the school run with me. Definitely keeps the horrid ones at bay!

[ItLooksABitOff]

do it, it's liberating.

Another idea: wear obvious headphones. Smile and nod but appear to intently listening to music/podcasts/ (or the gossip around you bwa hahaha)

[VerbeenaBeeks]

I hear you, OP. As someone new to an area after having a baby 15 years ago now and moving away from my home friends and a new house etc.
when he started school and I was doing the school run as working part time, wanted to meet new people. You tend to find people you click with, but it can take time and in the meantime you can end up encountering a watered down Mean Girls version of the Plastics but for grown ups like I did at first, utterly bizarre if you get sucked in! Made me glad I was never in any popular group at school lol
Keep smiling and saying hi to people stood by themselves, if you click you'll soon start chatting.

[Livelovelearn123]

Chinks, that’s the thing I don’t want to appear rude either! I’m sure your dd will make friends regardless!

[StubbleTurnips]

I mostly don't GAF about anyone else, also have resting bitch face. It helps that they have purposely excluded our DD from occasions during reception as she didn't attend school nursery cunts

So yes, Our school run is incredibly cliquey - it makes me laugh that I can in a David Attenborough style watch them like animals narrating it to myself. There is a classic centre of attention mum who does my fucking head in, she commands the WhatsApp group. I know her from a previous work role and she doesn't recognise me, she was also a massive twat then. I do like a wind up on that group though

If in doubt I put my headphones in and if anyone approaches me I tell them I'm on a work call listening to the archers

[VerbeenaBeeks]

My dm has said this is rude and if we don't chat to parents then dd won't make friends, she's told me at least once a week that dd needs to invite friends over for tea

You don't need to invite their friends over for tea, neither of mine have and they've always had plenty of friends!

[ItLooksABitOff]

meh, DD managed to make friends just fine without me as one of them had a twat of a mum

[Livelovelearn123]

Wolfie, itlooks, vrbeena thanks, I’m pleased you know where I’m coming from 😂

[Wolfiefan]

Stubble I’m going to be in trouble tomorrow. When I’m hearing the Attenborough narration in my head about the lesser spotter gym bunny and the highly groomed designer label wearer.

[RLOU30]

These school run threads mke me feel really 😬 about my DS starting school. I’m just planing on dropping him off picking him up and focusing entirely on his experience. Hopefully that will be possible

[Livelovelearn123]

Stubble, that’s awful, it’s happened at our school too, I simply can’t understand that, hopefully your dd won’t remember it.

[Chinks123]

Yes that's the thing she's made loads of friends, she doesn't need me to be their parents best friends. Thanks Verbeena I agree, by the time I get home I just couldn't find the energy.

[FinnegansWhiskers]

Run in, drop dc off. Run in pick dc up. If anyone speaks to you reply politely. If nobody speaks to you ...Fantastic! You won't have to be polite. Phew! School runs are the worst thing in life if you are not one of the clique.

[VerbeenaBeeks]

@RLOU30 there are some normal mums out there, honest
It's just a question of finding them!

[Livelovelearn123]

Rlou30 sorry, it won’t be this bad hopefully! If it’s any consolation I’ve met some lovely friends, it just takes a bit of time to get to decifer the good from the not so good.

[QueenOfTheAndals]

DS has just started school. I drop him off, pick him up, smile at another parent if I recognise them, but I've no interest in socialising beyond that and I certainly won't be adding myself to any whatsapp groups!

All the angst about the school run and the outfits for the school run is alien to me.

[TurquoiseDress]

Reading this thread & taking notes as DC1 started reception last month

[VerbeenaBeeks]

All the angst about the school run and the outfits for the school run is alien to me

Outfits for the school run?! If I've managed to comb my hair and check myself for random stains I'm counting it as a win

[AssassinatedBeauty]

@RLOU30 you don't have to make friends. You can just be polite, make chit chat, drop the kids and go. It's fine.

[QueenOfTheAndals]

@VerbeenaBeeks I've seen many a thread here along the lines of "is this dress ok for the school run?" But maybe it's just a Mumsnet thing!

[FinnegansWhiskers]

Today 23:13VerbeenaBeeks

All the angst about the school run and the outfits for the school run is alien to me

Look out .. the yearly whinge about the school nativity will be upon us soon. I suggest we all get some gin in to deal with little Marmaduke or Rainbow Aurora not getting the role of Mary/Joseph... Bring it on! ..... AGAIN 🥂🍾

[Livelovelearn123]

So basically what I’ve discovered is:

1. Buy some headphones;
   
2. Turn up 30s before pick up to avoid conversation;
   
3. Find some good eggs;
   
4. Avoid what’s app groups and for goodness’ sake don’t give your number out; and
   
5. It’s all about the kids, so who cares about the parents! (But we knew that anyway).
   

Thanks everyone going to approach the school run differently tomorrow 😁

[StubbleTurnips]

wolfie its mainly and here we have the primary group of mothers twats, they are in competition with the secondary group who's offspring are in the opposing school year class. Social communication among the group, via technology, requires participation in habitual slagging off of each other's for minor perceived indiscretions regarding Buggy etiquette

Passes the time!

[Woobeedoo]

My little boy started school in September and only 2 children from his preschool have gone to the same school as him (sob).

We have to be in the school grounds just before 08:45 and I run the gauntlet of The Cliques.

Before you even get through the gates there are the Loungewear Smoker Railing Mums, they usher their kids in and then just lean against the railings puffing away and bitching.

Then there are the Gym Class Ponytail Mums - always discussing how after they've dropped off their child, that they must dash to a spinning / yoga / fitness class.

There's the Brand New Baby in a Massive Pushchair Blocking the Whole Pavement Mums - they cluster in groups of 10 meaning you have to scale a hill to get round them. Saying excuse me doesn't work, I've tried.

And finally there's a small handful of Polite Hello, Drop Off and Dash Off Mums (and Dads) and this is my group.

It's bloody tiring though and I miss the lovely Mums and Dads at preschool I really do.