Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Discharge baby from Hospital

98 replies

AllesAusLiebe · 04/10/2018 06:51

Hi, I know that this is a really contentious topic, but please bear with me......

So, I’m in hospital with my son. He was admitted last night after I called 111 in a panic. He’s only 5 days old, I tried to wake him up for a feed and he appeared listless and felt like he had a high fever.

Whilst making the call, he woke up bright-eyed and I apologised to the call handler for wasting their time and explained that I’m a very anxious 1st time mother of a very much treasured ivf baby. She still insisted that an ambulance was called just in case.

Paramedics arrived and measured his temperature at 39 degrees.

On arrival to hospital, my little son has been through quite an ordeal. He’s had bloods taken, antibiotics and a lumbar puncture.

Bloods have returned normal, vitals are normal and ever since admission (despite not being given anything to regulate it), his temperature has been completely normal.

I’ve just spoken to the doctor who believes he should stay here for another 48 hours until the cultures from the lumber puncture have been observed.

I’d very much rather we went home for a number of reasons:

  1. I’m recovering from a c section and my stitches are extremely sore and not going to fare well with this bed they’ve given me to sleep on.
  2. I’m still persevering with breastfeeding, despite a very difficult start. I feel that being at home is much more conducive to success. I’ve also got an appointment with a specialist today which I obviously won’t be able to attend if I’m in here.
  3. I feel strongly that the temperature the paramedics took was anomalous and other evidence suggests that all is well. The initial analysis of the lumber puncture material was normal.
  4. I was only discharged from hospital after my c section on Tuesday night. My son was really unsettled in here overnight.

If you’ve got this far - thanks, i really appreciate that! Do I have any options or am I stuck here?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 04/10/2018 06:53

With a baby that young I wouldn't take any chances tbh. I think you need to listen to the doctors and stay put.

GoatWithACoat · 04/10/2018 06:55

Stay where you are. It won’t be for much longer but it won’t look good if you leave.

Original poster
AllesAusLiebe · 04/10/2018 06:55

.... I should also mention that I’m going to speak to the doctor again with my concerns/reasons for wanting to go home. Thanks m going to offer to bring my son back tomorrow daytime and/or to monitor his temperature at home.

I just wondered whether anyone has any experience of this?

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 04/10/2018 06:55

Having had a newborn with sepsis you really don't want to mess around with something like this. Could the hospital lend you a breast pump to keep your supply up?

I really hope you are out soon

TwoGinScentedTears · 04/10/2018 06:56

If the medical professionals are recommending staying then I'm afraid it's in your baby's best interests to stay.

I know it's hard, I know it's not nice but honestly, your head is scrambled from what you've been through and the Drs are thinking straight. I mean that with kindness.

Get supplies for you and hunker down. If there's nothing wrong you'll be put as soon as the Drs think it's safe. And after all, you both want the same thing: a healthy baby.

beela · 04/10/2018 06:56

I agree with tidydancer

TwoGinScentedTears · 04/10/2018 06:57

Oh, and congratulations! Flowers

MsJolly · 04/10/2018 06:58

TBH they wouldn't have done a lumbar puncture on a baby that young if they hadn't thought it necessary-speak to the doctors and ask their thoughts as to whether you can go home

AnyFucker · 04/10/2018 07:05

They don't fill precious hospital beds with babies for the fun of it

Stay

Original poster
AllesAusLiebe · 04/10/2018 07:09

Thanks folks, I really appreciate your replies.

Truth is, my head is completely messed up and I know I’m maybe not thinking clearly. Sad

Things all round just haven’t gone to plan - 24 hours of slow labour, emergency section, then baby didn’t feed for 24 hours. This feels like the final straw.

Another question:
What if my husband and I took this in shifts, for example, I go home now, get some rest and return to hospital for the night shift to allow him to do the same?

Would that look bad?

Would it completely screw up breastfeeding if my husband gave the little one formula as a one-off today and I expressed at home to keep my supply up (sorry if this is also a stupid question- I’m clueless!)

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 04/10/2018 07:09

You know what you are probably right. I hope you are and this is all just a massive pain in the arse.

BUT

Drs are very experienced people and will not take chances. They saw fit to do a lumbar puncture on your dc. That is not something they do lightly. They don't take up a precious hospital bed based on the concerns of an over worried mum. Lets face it, they will see many many of these! We worry!

Yes it's not ideal and i totally get that you dont want to be there but its two days. Which seems like forever but its just mot worth the risk. The risk that something is wrong is 1% but that imo not a riskid take with the most precious thing in my world.

Don't be afraid to ask for some help with your post section discomfort but otherwise take it as a time to rest if you can.

My dd was called into hospital for urgent tests as they found strep b on her umbillical chord. This was at midnight and i was told not to wait. More bloods were taken etc but the dr sent us home because he was happy with her physically.

Stay put. Youll worryyourself sick if you go home

Flowers
DisneyMillie · 04/10/2018 07:10

I’m sure they must have taken your baby’s temperature more than once before giving a lumbar puncture - even if you didn’t notice? A very high temperature in baby that small f worrying - i’d stay until you’re absolutely sure everything is fine. Congratulations on your baby

Wildboar · 04/10/2018 07:10

It sounds so tough, but I would stay. Are they giving him antibiotics? Can you ask for a proper bed and cosleep with him?

flapjackfairy · 04/10/2018 07:12

Yes just resign yourself to it. You will be home v soon to get on with things.
And to be frank if you choose to ignore medical recommendations with such a little one it may well be seen as a safeguarding concern.
I am not judging you and totally get how you feel but just warning you that it could be flagged up.
Congrats on your baby and hope you are home v soon and all is well. X

Pastaagain78 · 04/10/2018 07:13

Are you on a ward or in a side room?

dentydown · 04/10/2018 07:14

They get nervous when babies that age have temperatures. They may need extra help in fighting the infection. Normally everything is ok, but there is always a small percentage that isn’t and that’s why they do the belt and braces approach.
My son was 3 weeks and had a spinal tap, Iv antibiotics, and test galore because of a high temperature.
He’s 12 now.

Original poster
AllesAusLiebe · 04/10/2018 07:14

Wildboar good idea about the bed - I’ll ask.

Yes, he’s had amoxicillin. He’s not currently being given anything now, though.

OP posts:
loubluee · 04/10/2018 07:18

Congratulations and sorry you you are going through this. I also agree with pp, hospital is the best place to be. Tiny babies go downhill quickly, so if something is wrong you are in the right place for something to be picked up quicker than if you were at home. X

LEMtheoriginal · 04/10/2018 07:18

It actually doesnt matter how it looks. I think that is very sensible. You are exhausted and need some rest.

You have had a really shit time here and this makes you quite vulnerable to PND. Be aware if you continue to struggle so you can nip it in the bud.

I would say give your dc a good feed at his normal time when thetes a good chance hell sleep a while then absolutely go home . One or two formula feeds will make not one jot of difference to your breast feeding

Helbelle75 · 04/10/2018 07:18

We had to go back into hospital the evening we went home. Dd was also emergency c section and we struggled to get breastfeeding started.
I rang up about 3 hours after we got home and was told to take her back in as she was listless and not even trying to feed.
We ended up staying in for 3 days to establish feeding and to get her weight up. It was a pain and i wanted to be at home but it's now a distant memory. We had to combination feed for a while, but still breasteeding at 18 months.
I'm sure they'll let you home when they're happy, but they know what theyre doing.
Congratulations as well!

Fruitbatdancer · 04/10/2018 07:20

They will have no issue with you and hubby switching, especially with your post op situation.
Formula is fine! And I did similar in early days and baby had no problem returning to breast. But you can also ask to borrow a pump.
Take it easy on yourself. But leave baby where he is.

Original poster
AllesAusLiebe · 04/10/2018 07:20

flapjackfairy yeah, good point. I did some contract work on Social Services’ IT systems a few years back and remember seeing referrals as a result of parents generally not following medical advice. I’d be mortified. Sad

Pastaagain78 I’m in a side room.

OP posts:
BloodyWorried · 04/10/2018 07:22

Firstly congratulations!

Please don’t leave, the cultures can take a while to show - have they started antibiotics as a precaution? It’s really serious how quickly babies have a bad turn, my son had the same at 2 days old - he’s fine now but for him it was sepsis and he had a ten day stay in the special care unit. Absolutely switch between you and your partner, discuss your care with the hospital, I think 5 days post partum they have a duty of care to make you comfortable and look after you (possibly having you on the postnatal ward, if it’s close to where your baby will be cared for).

It’s hard, but it’s for the best, as PP have said, the doctors and paramedics don’t take it lightly because it has huge consequences and even if it seems like it was a one off perhaps that needs some further investigation. You may have picked up that something is wrong before it became really wrong. Formula would be worth a try, how is your supply, perhaps discuss with a breast feeding advisor at the hospital as they would be able to give you the best guidance on this. Though I say you do what you need to do to get you through, even if that means formula feeding and having to stay in the house once lo is better to get them to settle at the boob again if that’s what it takes.

Spam88 · 04/10/2018 07:23

It definitely doesn't all need to be on you OP, so switch with your DH to give yourself a break. Could you also see, since you're there, if there's someone based in the hospital who could help you out with some breastfeeding support?

qate · 04/10/2018 07:30

I echo - a bit of formula at this stage won't mean the end of breastfeeding. If it makes you feel more comfortable, ask them to just give a little formula rather than overfeeding, and give it out of a cup rather than a bottle. We did this in hospital a couple of times when DS was a couple of days old, and we EBF for the next 12 months (and still BFing now). Hope the little one is on the mend soon!