Discharge baby from Hospital

[AllesAusLiebe]

Hi, I know that this is a really contentious topic, but please bear with me......

So, I’m in hospital with my son. He was admitted last night after I called 111 in a panic. He’s only 5 days old, I tried to wake him up for a feed and he appeared listless and felt like he had a high fever.

Whilst making the call, he woke up bright-eyed and I apologised to the call handler for wasting their time and explained that I’m a very anxious 1st time mother of a very much treasured ivf baby. She still insisted that an ambulance was called just in case.

Paramedics arrived and measured his temperature at 39 degrees.

On arrival to hospital, my little son has been through quite an ordeal. He’s had bloods taken, antibiotics and a lumbar puncture.

Bloods have returned normal, vitals are normal and ever since admission (despite not being given anything to regulate it), his temperature has been completely normal.

I’ve just spoken to the doctor who believes he should stay here for another 48 hours until the cultures from the lumber puncture have been observed.

I’d very much rather we went home for a number of reasons:

1. I’m recovering from a c section and my stitches are extremely sore and not going to fare well with this bed they’ve given me to sleep on.
2. I’m still persevering with breastfeeding, despite a very difficult start. I feel that being at home is much more conducive to success. I’ve also got an appointment with a specialist today which I obviously won’t be able to attend if I’m in here.
3. I feel strongly that the temperature the paramedics took was anomalous and other evidence suggests that all is well. The initial analysis of the lumber puncture material was normal.
4. I was only discharged from hospital after my c section on Tuesday night. My son was really unsettled in here overnight.

If you’ve got this far - thanks, i really appreciate that! Do I have any options or am I stuck here?

What a tough start for you.
Just to be safe I would stay at the hospital. It won't be too much longer, almost certainly you'll be reassured that baby is ok and you can then get on with settling properly at home.
If you took him home now and he became unwell again I think you would regret it.
It won't matter to give a formula feed if it helps you. Make sure you look after yourself too. Things will get better soon I'm sure.

It would be considered a medical emergency for a baby that young to have a temperature. Temp would suggest infection and your baby is so little, best to stay where they are monitoring closely.
My SIL was readmitted with her first baby and she was going through the same emotions, she was just so desperate to be home but your baby really is safest where he is.

Has your milk come in? Sometimes takes a couple more days with emergency section. I had the worst day of hormones the day my milk came in, like it was all too much and I couldn’t cope and baby was particularly unsettled due to change which didn’t help!

What if you left the hospital to have a little walk around outside and get a bit of fresh air? If you are not feeling up to that maybe a chum or relative could wheel you? It can be stifling in a busy ward.

My done had sepsis too and ended up in special care at one day old. I would follow medical advice and stay put. Before you know it you will be home. It’s hard recovering from a c-section but I decided to take the view that it was a good opportunity to rest and just focus on establishing feeding. The hospital gave my baby top up feeds and I continued with one bottle per day. I breastfed him for a year. I hope you are both home soon. Xxx

Thanks again for the replies and also for taking the trouble to read my long posts.

LEMtheoriginal you’re right, and that’s exactly what I’m afraid of. Last night, I couldn’t get him to latch and I got so frustrated and was actually getting angry. I hate myself for this; he’s not even a week old and I’m pushing my inadequacy onto him.

I’m not sure whether a breastfeeding advisor would be able to help me out much. I had tons of support whilst on the postnatal ward (I think in the end they were sick of me... ), but still really struggled. It’s like I’ve retained nothing of what I was taught. I’ll ask if there’s anyone I can talk to here, though. In a way, I just feel a bit embarrassed that I’m still having problems...

Keep asking for help with breastfeeding. That is why the professionals are there.

Have you asked the ward nurse about a better bed? IE getting a proper hospital bed. Perhaps your dh could investigate that for you. You are only a very few days post partum and having had an emergency c could almost be a patient yourself.

If you don’t feel looked after well enough, yes, of course you are going to need to go home. If you’re thinking you’d like to try to keep breastfeeding, pumping is a very good idea to help with supply. Some people seem to have an abundance of milk. Others like me, not. I bought a double breast pump when dd was older than this and it was brilliant. But as a pp has said you could ask about borrowing one.

If a medical professional told me my child should be in hospital it would be a no brainer.

Havng said that I’m a weirdo who loved being in for 10 days when DC was born. I knew nothing about babies and the midwives were wonderful. I felt so secure.

He’s only five days old. You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed- it’s perfectly normal to be establishing breastfeeding. Especially if he’s poorly.

Go home and get some rest. You’ve done the best you can for him right now. Sounds as though he’s where he needs to be x

rest your baby on a pillow so you can breastfeed, make sure he opens his mouth wide.
but stay put, best wishes, hope you baby recovers quickly

Jent13c yes, milk came in yesterday. Incidentally, I’ve just looked at him waking up next to me and I’ve burst into tears, so I reckon I’m battling crazy hormones at the moment!

I had such a horrible outburst at my husband last night, too.

Cross post about finding feeding tough. You’ve fed your ds for almost a week. You’re actually doing fine. He was probably struggling to latch as he is poorly. It seems to be easier for babies to take bottles so either expressed, milk or formula may be worth considering. And I think you should ask and see what the nurses think. That’s what they’re there for. They may just say keep putting him to the breast. Idk how poorly he’s feeling.

Has he fed ok today?

Definitely stay where you are my youngest son got very ill in a matter of hours at 5 weeks old.He woke up slightly sniffly and was okay till 2pm (nothing to be concerned bed about anyway) by 4pm I had him at the doctors as his breathing had deteriorated by 4.30 pm he was on a ventilator. He is fine now thanks to the fantastic care he had. Young bavbies can get very ill very quickly.

Hi OP, DD1 had sepsis at 19 days old and went through the same procedures as you described. She very nearly didn't make it. Newborns can deteriorate very quickly and you are in the best place. Please stay where you are. You won't be there much longer. Glad to hear your baby is improving.

No OP, don't be embarrassed! It might be natural, but that doesn't mean breastfeeding comes easy to us all. And it's still very early days for you. I had someone coming to see me every day for a week (more for emotional support than anything) plus I was going to breastfeeding clinic weekly for a month or so, plus another one off appointment a few months on when I developed dermatitis on my nipple. Seriously, take all the help that's available to you, it's there to be used.

Also, I don't know what the support you had on the ward was like, but mine was just midwives and nursery nurses stuffing my boob into the babies mouth or hand expressing for me. It got her fed but certainly didn't help with me establishing breastfeeding.

Be kind to yourself lovely. I had a failed induction (15 hours) followed by emergency c section and ended up back in hospital when baby was 8 days old (my infection not his). I had similar troubles breastfeeding and your comment if not being able to retain it resonates with me. If the BF peer could have been there for every feed, I'd have been fine, but I struggled alone. I didn't BF him in the end as it was too much for me on top of everything else, but having then gone on to BF DS2 for 25 months, I'll pass on what I learned. Breathe. Try to relax and let baby figure it out. I read something when I was pregnant with DS2 that newborns can crawl up to the boob. I was bored in hospital just after he was born and decided to try it. I put him ony Timmy just below the boob and lo and behold, he got himself there. Sometimes we over think it and we put too much pressure on ourselves. Get a cuppa, take some deep breaths and let baby take charge. He will relax because you are relaxed. And remember, if it doesn't work out, that is okay too. I have one bottle fed and one breast fed.

Sending huge hugs. Get your supplies, find out about WiFi and sort yourself out with some Netflix. Bed rest for you post section is absolutely essential (otherwise you'll end up poorly too).

you are in a side room, so that is good for you. rest and feed, take advantage of the rest

You poor thing you sound really down. This is not the first week you had imagined with your precious baby. It can be very hard when the best laid plans go awry.
They detected problem at my newborns checks and we had to stay in neonatal for a further week. I remember thinking once I get her home everything will be ok.
Your little baby is in the best place for now and you will be bringing them home very soon just don’t be so hard on yourself, you did the right thing ringing 111.

LittleBookofCalm really, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy we’re on a side ward and he’s in very capable hands. The problem is that they’ve given me what is essentially a fold out camp bed to sleep on. The nurses and doctor know that I’m only 5 days post-section so I can’t help but feel that if there isn’t a better alternative. I’ll still ask though - maybe this has just been overlooked.

HRTFT but I had a lumbar puncture years ago and it was dreadful :( I wouldn't want to take anyone, but especially a baby, out of hospital for a few days afterwards. I had a headache like nothing I've ever experienced.

PS I've also had sections (separately) so know that you must be exhausted and run down.

Another one who had a septic baby. Being in hospital is rubbish. You have my sympathy.

FWIW, I'm not the birth mum and I remember very vividly a lovely nurse sitting my DP down and explaining that everyone she sees forgets the breastfeeding advice and needs it repeating. She was a nurse working on a ward with sick babies, and you just don't take things in.

And I remember her saying it again two hours later when DP was struggling again having totally forgot the first pep talk!

It is really, really common, from what she said. So please don't beat yourself up about that. What you are doing is heroic - getting a sick baby to feed is really hard, because they're not feeling up for it either.

Btw, ours was tube and formula fed for a good while and did breastfeed fine in the end, and again, we were told they often do.

Thanks everyone for the support re breastfeeding, too. highheelsandbobblehats I’ll definitely give that a try when we (eventually) get home!

I’ve been in your exact position. I’m not medical. Just a mummy. I would, with the benefit of hindsight, trust my instincts and go home. They have done all the import checking. Now you are waiting which can safely be done at home so long as you are monitoring him and bringing him back if needed. The medical team cannot say this to you even if they think it. The reason I say this is that it’s not a zero cost exercise. Bonding and attachment to your baby are absolutely critical for you and your baby. Hospitals tend not to weigh that up as a risk (or pND) which they should really. Hospitals are about minimising the risk of dying to as close to zero as possible.

Good luck whatever you decide

Mum of baby who had lumbar puncture for suspected sepsis at three days old here. As other posters have said, you’re definitely in the right place, stay put. What I wanted to urge you to do is to turn it into a positive being back in hospital and get them to bring you an electrical expressing machine, with a breastfeeding consultant to help you get started. They have excellent machines in hospital that you wouldn’t have access to at home. It will do wonders for your supply. Keep on at the midwives, doctors and ward sister to get you one. Good luck

Also don’t be afraid to keep asking for breastfeeding tips and support, it’s one of their key jobs.