Discharge baby from Hospital

[AllesAusLiebe]

Hi, I know that this is a really contentious topic, but please bear with me......

So, I’m in hospital with my son. He was admitted last night after I called 111 in a panic. He’s only 5 days old, I tried to wake him up for a feed and he appeared listless and felt like he had a high fever.

Whilst making the call, he woke up bright-eyed and I apologised to the call handler for wasting their time and explained that I’m a very anxious 1st time mother of a very much treasured ivf baby. She still insisted that an ambulance was called just in case.

Paramedics arrived and measured his temperature at 39 degrees.

On arrival to hospital, my little son has been through quite an ordeal. He’s had bloods taken, antibiotics and a lumbar puncture.

Bloods have returned normal, vitals are normal and ever since admission (despite not being given anything to regulate it), his temperature has been completely normal.

I’ve just spoken to the doctor who believes he should stay here for another 48 hours until the cultures from the lumber puncture have been observed.

I’d very much rather we went home for a number of reasons:

1. I’m recovering from a c section and my stitches are extremely sore and not going to fare well with this bed they’ve given me to sleep on.
2. I’m still persevering with breastfeeding, despite a very difficult start. I feel that being at home is much more conducive to success. I’ve also got an appointment with a specialist today which I obviously won’t be able to attend if I’m in here.
3. I feel strongly that the temperature the paramedics took was anomalous and other evidence suggests that all is well. The initial analysis of the lumber puncture material was normal.
4. I was only discharged from hospital after my c section on Tuesday night. My son was really unsettled in here overnight.

If you’ve got this far - thanks, i really appreciate that! Do I have any options or am I stuck here?

Hang in there OP. Your ds is in the best place right now. I had a csection and my ds was admitted at 9 days old and stayed for 10days. I was in pain, trying to establish breastfeeding and felt so awful for my ds who had a catheter inserted as well. It was traumatic. After all that they found that he was healthy but his bloods were concerning initially.

Take turns with your dh if you need to. Hopr you both are discharged soon.

Any temperature above 38C in a baby will be treated as sepsis- so even if the thermometer was out slightly, your wee one is still miles above that. And the younger they are, the more likely it is that a temperature is due to bacteria rather than a virus. Remember- you called an ambulance because they were hot and unresponsive- your mum instincts were telling you something was horribly wrong. I know you're tired and it's totally overwhelming and a rubbish situation, but those antibiotics may be stopping whatever he started to make your baby sick from spreading and ending up with sepsis or meningitis.... these are real concerns in a baby that young, not just scaremongering.

Secondly, I'd ask the nurse to get the breast feeding specialist down- tiredness and stress can have a negative impact on your milk supply, so it would be good if you could access some support and make the most of your time in hospital. And yes- definitely take shifts.... no one will look down on you at all! Go and rest!

You sound exhausted, you have just had major surgery.
Get DH to do a shift and go home for a bit. You will be better equipped to deal with things if you are slightly less exhausted. You need to consider your own health too. It won't look bad. Maybe you could ask for help to express some milk now it has come in so your baby can be fed while you are having a rest.

sounds like your having a really rough time If i had to sleep on a camp bed after sections I would be a mess and in alot of pain. Are you keeping up with your painkillers?

Go now and ask for a bed or use the call bell and explain you are in pain with the bed as you have just had a section would it be possible to have a proper bed or even a recliner chair would be better than that.

While you have them explain you feel like you need help with feeding ask for a pump. my best friends baby was in and she was offered one.

Please please dont be afriad to ask am almost sure they will do these things for you as a HCA I wouldnt hesitate to do anything I could to make a family member more comfortable and at ease at such a tough time. Its part of the job I think

You're right in the midst of the worst of the hormones IME - I pretty much sobbed non stop on days 4-7 and was completely exhausted. Please head home and get a few hours rest, it will do you the world of good! DS will be perfectly safe with DH. You can express 2-3 hourly whilst you are away. Discuss a feeding plan with DS’s nurse. They should EXPECT to be supporting you with feeding at this stage. FWIW, I’m a midwife and telephoned a senior colleague in tears on day 6 because I was struggling with breastfeeding and had to have a support visit. I teach a breastfeeding class! It’s more difficult than a lot of people realise.

I've been in hospital post section with one of my babies, with children at home too and it is awful and so hard but you really do have to think about your baby before yourself and stay where you are, as harsh as that sounds. Why do you not want your newborn baby to receive the best care possible?

Have you tried syringe feeding? I ended up doing this with DD at one point due to nipple pain.

OP you've just had major surgery, your hormones are all over, your baby is poorly and you haven't had chance to master bf yet.. Give yourself a break!! Tell the staff you've had a section, ask for extra pillows, ask for some bf support, get your DH there and get off the ward for 20 minutes fresh air. Take care of yourself too you've had a hell of a week

Hi OP

I didn’t want to read andcrun, having been in a similar situation to yourself in the past. I had a ten week old in hospital with sepsis. I also had a dural headache after my unplanned section from having him which made breastfeeding very hard to get going (or maybe it would have been hard anyway). Currently I’m on day 6 after section for child number two and trying to establish BFing again.

Stay in the hospital. It might be nothing, or it might be something. If it’s nothing then staying does no harm. If it’s something then going is very dangerous. If you actually did leave, would you be able to relax in the house anyway?

Being on w camp bed is crap, but they are not overlooking you. Your child is their patient, and stretched hospital systems are not designed around post operative mums staying over. I don’t know how the system at your hospital works, but potentially had they suspected your baby was ill whilst you were still under their care (and in the fancy bed) you would have been seperated from each other. The room you are in won’t be designed for a bed more conducive to recovering from a section.

Absolutely go home and rest, and yes give some formula, and definitely express. The hospital will be delighted if you can give your baby food from a bottle (formula or BM) as they can track how much is going in and coming out that way.

Don’t panic about this being the end of BFing. If you pump every time you give formula your body will react and will keep supplying. Even if the baby likes the bottle better for now, this gives you as much time as you both need to sort out the latch once you are in a less stressful situation. You can borrow a hospital grade pump to have in your room and use all the time when you are sitting around to pump or to try to get the baby to latch. Watch YouTube videos about it. Post here. I think League La Leche has a helpline. There are lots of Facebook peer support groups where you can take videos and post them and ask for advice. Try Breastfeeding Yummy Mummies to start with (I know I know the name doesn’t hint to my sort of place either, but there are thousands of experienced breastfeeders on there.).

Don’t feel guilty about what your wee person has been though. He won’t remember. The nights I spent in hospital with my now two year old with sepsis were a bit dark and desperate but we are all through it now and he obviously has no memory of any of it.

OP

What a rollercoaster.

Your little one needs to stay there, for now. Alternate with DH. Get a pump (ideally electric otherwise you'll have a sore hand!). Call La Leche League for advice/reassurance.

And please, please take care of yourself - have DH bring you in decent meals, fruit, milk, snacks - you're just through major surgery and you need to be taken care of, even though you might be running on adrenaline in the circumstances.

Very soon you'll all be home and well.

Itis 48 hours of your baby's life. At the moment it seems huge because it represents nearly half his life so far. But what is 48 hours compared to a life of 80 plus years? It's nothing. Stick with it. Speak to the staff about your stitches and breastfeeding, maybe they can find you some extra pillows and a breast pump, or ask a friend to bring them in.

I hope you have some real life people who can give you practical help like clean clothes and food.

Congratulations on your new baby.

Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time when this should have been one of the happiest times of your life. Your baby is in the best place and whilst it is inconvenient you just need to ride it out until the medics are sure all is well - as others have said, they don't block beds with well babies! I can also assure you that if you go against their advice and take your baby home you will not get any rest - you will be watching over him 24/7 worried that you've done the wrong thing!

Regarding your needs - you need to politely explain what you need and ask if there is anything they can do/provide. I spent many nights on hospital wards with my DD over the years and sometimes the staff just don't think outside the box re the parent's needs - their concern is the patient. That's not to say they can't help when you point things out to them. I had a proper bed on the children's ward when DD was in and I was 38 wks pregnant with DS - it can be done. They can also pull in professionals from other parts of the hospital who wouldn't normally be present on a childrens ward - assuming it's not just a childrens hospital you are in - so they should be able to get you breastfeeding support and pumps etc.

Hopefully this is just a short term blip - you will be home again soon.

Please take care of you. It must be so hard to leave your baby but he will be fine with your DH and you will be better for a break. I would also try & make the specialist appt if DH could cover it. Xxx

I totally get where you are coming from OP. My baby was diagnosed with Sepsis just after birth (had lumber puncture also). We were in for 8 nights in total, 3with baby in ICU the rest with baby in with me in side room. I waa in for 10 days altogether. I completely get that you feel like you can't recover properly in hospital, cant even eat wjat you want or have a decent shower but please please stay - your baby may need a further course of antibiotics and it's the very best place. My baby was tube fed and I had to sign a consent form for her to have formul (from acup) as I wasn't producing enough milk but we did establish breast feeding once we left hospital. We only managed to breastfeed for about 6 weeks as she lost weight so had to top up with bottles of formula and she began crying on the breast and my supply dwindled. At the time I was so upset that I had to let the breast feeding go but she is now 6 months and is such a healthy happy baby. Sorry amrushing to type this - I can hear her starting to wake up but what I'm trying to say is please stay at the hospital - the health of your baby is priority, all other things do not ultimately matter. When i look back now its all a blur but she's here and the hospital did a fantastic job. I hope the results come back all clear for you xxx

My ds2 was admitted for three days when he was three weeks old. He was completely fine in all ways but I had noticed his breathing was abnormally fast. Nothing else, no fever, nothing. He had three days of IV antibiotics as a precaution - he was the most well of the babies on there and by the end I felt a bit of a fraud, plus I hated us being in there, but I'll never know what else it prevented. With neonates, not taking any chances is the safest route.

I struggled for 4 weeks to establish bf with ds1 - after a hugely drawn-out labour - lots of pumping and top-ups involved, and went on to ditch the formula and breastfeed him for four and a half years. It's prob best if you don't swap shifts with dh if you want to work on the bf, but make sure you are well looked after and he brings you in everything you need. Try and get a single room if you can, too.

I hope the two days fly past and all is well soon.

Obvs agree with everyone about staying where you are, but whilst there why not take advantage of the maternity ward and see if they can offer support with feeding?

Sorry just to clarify I mean please keep the baby at the hospital. If you can get home for few hours whilst DP at hospital I think it'll do you the world of good xxxx

Day 5 was bonkers hormone day for me OP. Please dont underestimate the power they can have on your emotions and your resilience. You are going through a hell of a lot. You are not in any way inadequate. Breastfeeding can be excruciatingly hard. I had my mum with me 24/7 , a retired midwife who had breastfed three children. She gave great support and it still broke me!

I was in hospital with DS as well with similar symptoms to your baby and was also post C section with breastfeeding issues. I have some advice that may help.

Echo other posters about pumping every time you give formula.

You can rent a hospital grade breast pump from Medela with next day delivery if you order before 3pm. They are great and it takes 15 mins to pump both boobs thoroughly instead of 20 mins per boob. The hospital may be able to lend you one.

Call La Leche League 24 hour helpline. They may have a breastfeeding support worker who will visit you in hospital. This is free as they are volunteers (wonderful women) They know how hard it can be and were extremely patient and kind as I sobbed down the phone.

The hospital may have a lactation consultant. They are the big guns of breastfeeding support. Get them to check your baby for posterior tongue tie which is often missed by normal breastfeeding support workers and midwives.

If you can afford a private breastfeeding consultant, mine was well worth the price. I justified it by comparing to the price of 6 months of formula.

If breastfeeding does prove too difficult. It is one aspect of being a mother compared to a million others throughout the rest of your beautiful babies life. Its just intensely magnified at this point.

You are good enough. And you aren't alone.

OP you poor thing, this must be awful for you - you know the right thing to do is stay put but do take it in turns to go home and rest!

The hormones from day 5-10 are utterly insane- I felt like I was going crazy especially when my milk came in and you add pain into the mix.

It took me 4 weeks to get to grips with breastfeeding and it was a gruelling, lonely experience and I had to use formula during that time- I carried on until DC was 2. Be kind to yourself, this is all new and worrying.

If ur finding breastfeeding hard, ask for the lactation consultant to come to u from maternity ward and also use the expressing machines available there by seeing if they can bring them to u or if u can go to it if baby is safe . Make the most of ur stay !

Really tough on you. But to give you an idea of how seriously temperatures are taken in newborns (under, say, 1- 2 months, not just less than a week like your little one), my son had a temperature at home at perhaps 3 weeks or so, maybe 38 not a lot higher than that. On that basis he was still admitted for overnight observation and if his temperature hadn't been completely normal every time it was checked again he would have had all the investigations done like your little one has had.

Newborns go downhill scarily fast even though they can bounce back fast too. Best wishes with continuing to get feeding established and I hope your own appointment can be juggled successfully. Hope the cultures come back ok and that nothing more is needed, but try to be patient.

This is really horrible for you, I know, I've been in a similar situation, but you need to stay there. Doctors don't keep you in for so long, or order lumbar punctures unless they really feel it's necessary.

Of course you can let your DH take over for a while. It's entirely sensible. If anyone raises their eyebrows at you, they're not thinking it through. DC who had been in NICU, was readmitted in the first or second week (and subsequently as he turned out to have something fairly major though it didn't show up clearly at first). Whilst I went in with him initially, I was still too unwell post-CS and other pregnancy complications, to sleep on a campbed or care for him properly. DH stayed in the hospital overnight with him whilst I went home for a proper rest. I think staff were occasionally surprised, but only because they didn't understand the full picture. Because I was ill and DS was ill, it did take time to bond but we got there, and he's just gone off to school after curling up in my lap and showering me with kisses - we have a really strong bond now, partly I think because we went through a lot in his early years.

See if the NCT breastfeeding advisor or La Leche can come to you in hospital. Don't worry if you/DH give some formula. It's best your baby has some energy to fight this and if he gets dehydrated and low on glucose, you might find the staff insist on formula anyway (ours did when DS was in NICU and I was post-CS and struggling with bf). Mixed feeding is always an option going forward, and ensures the baby is still getting your antibodies. Expressing is also an option and you might be able to borrow a big double pump from the maternity ward.

Good luck and don't be hard on yourself.

Shifts is a great idea. Do be kind to yourself. It's horrible to have such a little one in hospital, but it's definitely better to have baby observed as they can look fine and then suddenly go downhill.

You might ask if they could possibly transfer you back to the postnatal ward. It might not be possible (and would mean you'd have to be the only one there) but there's no harm in asking. And YY make the most of proximity to midwives and other BF support! When I was back in hospital with DC2 on a not-maternity ward, I didn't ask for this as I felt he was the patient not me, and I should have done as they had the help and would give it to me if I'd asked.

Hi Op, I had similar when my baby was born last year, lumbar puncture antibiotics etc, but we were in for a week from birth. Can honestly say it was the worst week of my life, I cried and cried and begged every doctor I saw to let us go home. But, I am glad we stayed because as others have said, you have been through a lot and you might not be thinking straight whereas the doctors are. It’s horrible I know, I really feel for you, but you need to stay, you are in the best place to be cared for right now. You’ll be home before you know it.

OP I had very similar. They started AB on my DS when we got through the doors of the ward. Lumbar puncture confirmed bacterial meningitis. I then developed sepsis so all round a bit of a nightmare time.
The nurses had to feed him formula as he was listless and they were gong to have to tube feed him as he hadn't fed for so long and was jaundiced, but it took a lot of effort and I couldn't get him to take a bottle. They had to try numerous teats. I established supply with a hospital grade pump and then successfully breastfed him for 14 months.

Ask for an infant feeding specialist to visit you. I can't tell you how amazing the lady was that helped me and I will be forever grateful.

Please do not discharge your child. Do what you have to do. By all means, go home if that's what you need, but if your child has an infection at that age they need to be in the right place to get the care they need, it can very quickly turn serious, as it did in our case. He was discharged from the maternity ward with the symptoms of a serious infection!