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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really petty one about DPs washing habits

86 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 03/10/2018 22:30

I don’t live with my DP but when he stays he uses my shower gel/shampoo etc. No bother but he uses so much.
He stayed last night and had a wash this morning and I’ve just gone to wash my hair now and found a new full bottle of shower gel is a third gone, and my shampoo which was quarter full had the tiniest squirt left.

My shampoo and conditioner in particular is pretty expensive stuff, and if I with nearly waist length hair don’t need a quarter of a bottle a wash he definitely doesn’t with short back and sides.
Would it be really unreasonable to tell him if he wants to use so much to bring his ownBlush
It feels like a pathetic thing for a 27 year old with a mortgage and a good job to be asking Blush

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 04/10/2018 02:36

Can't believe posters are saying buy him stuff. He can buy his own!

I was thinking this. A simple "You are using my expensive stuff at twice the rate I do and I am not providing it anymore. You need to buy your own to leave here in future". His reaction would be a very good guage on which to consider your future with him.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/10/2018 02:42

Dh uses loads of shower gel. He says he needs loads to ensure he washes all his body as its hairy - although it actually isn’t, just average.

CrimsonFootstool · 04/10/2018 02:53

Agree with PyongyangKipperbang

He’s taking the piss and isn’t bothered about what you might think about it. You are overly concerned about being honest and potentially pissing him off with it. I know the shampoo/shower gel topic might seem trivial but it’s not really. Set your boundaries now about how you expect him to treat you and your stuff. If he’s pissed off about it then you know you’re going to get a lifetime of that shitty attitude about all manner of things big and small. If he’s ok and says, sorry I will buy my own, then that’s a good sign.

tildaMa · 04/10/2018 05:25

I don’t live with my DP but when he stays he uses my shower gel/shampoo etc. No bother but he uses so much.
He stayed last night and had a wash this morning and I’ve just gone to wash my hair now and found a new full bottle of shower gel is a third gone, and my shampoo which was quarter full had the tiniest squirt left.

So he's not just using way too much of your expensive stuff, he's also not considerate enough to leave some for you.

Not petty. Talk to him about this if you're thinking about moving in together unless you like the idea of forever finding empty milk bottles, last slice of the good cheese and leftovers meant for tomorrows lunch gone from the fridge.

Oh, and don't buy that stuff for him. He can bring his own.

Nanna50 · 04/10/2018 06:00

Nearly 30 years I’ve been keeping the good stuff in my cabinet. Keep your good stuff hidden and cheap stuff for him, my DH uses too much of everything, he says it’s cos he has huge hands and can’t help it. I say it’s twatish, but he is just not allowed to use my stuff.

Conseulabananahammock · 04/10/2018 06:12

Slightly off topic but on the same track. My dp was getting ready for work the other day , I gave him a cuddle and kiss before work and he smirked and said do I smell nice.
Gave him a quick sniff and quickly recognised the smell. Turns out he had been slithering himself in my raspberry scented body butter for days without me realising. Its very clearly a wmfemenine scent but he said he liked how it made him feel.Strange egg.

Gabilan · 04/10/2018 06:32

I had to do this when I lived at home as my dad would use my good stuff and any toothbrush as he never bothered to remember which one was his.

My dad used to nick my shampoo. With my mum it was toothbrushes. She genuinely didn't see a problem. I pointed out at that whether or not it was a problem to her was not the point - it was my toothbrush she was using and it was a problem to me. I still hide my toothbrush if I stay at hers, as she cannot tell the difference.

With the shampoo, I knew my nice Paul Mitchell stuff was going down to quickly but didn't know why. Then I got the tea tree stuff. Cue my dad complaining it hurt his scalp and me telling him to buy his own fucking stuff, not steal my expensive stuff. He hasn't done it since.

OP I think you need to tell him to bring his own. And mark on yours the price, in increments. So if you decides to fling half the contents down the drain, he knows it's a tenner he's thrown away.

Gabilan · 04/10/2018 06:33

If he decides, and too.
It's too early.

EdisonLightBulb · 04/10/2018 06:37

I would also buy soap for him. Four bars of imperial leather for 1.50. I would buy Albert Balsam shampoo at a pound a bottle. Sorted. Leave your stuff in a cupboard.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 04/10/2018 07:19

Soap is a good idea...

OP posts:
WhiteCoyote · 04/10/2018 07:32

I get irrationally wound up at the amount of toilet roll dp uses in one sitting. No one needs to use half a roll each time. Drives me up the wall.

Luckily he’s smart enough to know not to touch my £20 a bottle shampoo or he’d have to dig his own grave under the patio. Grin

Fluffyears · 04/10/2018 07:49

My dad once said ‘that shampoo you bought is really good!’ I worked part time during college and said ‘why are you using it it’s for coloured hair?’ He told me if something was in HIS bathroom in the house he bought he was entitled to it.....Erm no you buy cheap shit so use that. So my toiletries were not in the bathroom anymore.

Chinks123 · 04/10/2018 07:54

My expensive shampoo and conditioner is hidden and we live together Grin he has all his own toiletries but still uses mine because it's nicer..yes because I spend 4x more than you. He doesn't even have hair Confused

Aprilsinparis · 04/10/2018 09:11

TOOTHBRUSH!! I'm dry heaving, feckin disgusting! I keep my toiletries well away from the bathroom. My H moans about the amount I spend on my toiletries, but will think nothing of using them, and then complaining HE'S run outAngry Buy and keep the cheap stuff in the bathroom for general use. Keep a drawer in the bedroom for all your more expensive items.

TheViceOfReason · 04/10/2018 09:31

Just say "Oh Jim, i noticed you seem to use a lot of shampoo / shower gel - the stuff i use is really expensive, so can you bring some of your own to leave here next time you come over?"

It doesn't need to be a big deal. If he whinges / complains / won't do it / ignore you - then you know full well what the future of the relationship holds.

Gabilan · 04/10/2018 09:31

He told me if something was in HIS bathroom in the house he bought he was entitled to it...

I know this is a fairly light-hearted thread, but the amount of male entitlement it's revealing is really quite unpleasant. Just that "it's there so I'm entitled to it". Not "it's someone else's"; "it might have been expensive"; "if I use too much there won't be enough left for them". Just "I want to use this, therefore I will". It's not even "I don't care about you", it's "you don't factor into the decision at all".

IStandWithPosie · 04/10/2018 09:35

Get him to make you a lovely slap up meal, expensive cuts of meat, organic veg etc. Wine, the works. Then when he serves it, chuck it in the bin and say “this is what you do with my shampoo”. He’ll get the message.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/10/2018 09:38

It's not even "I don't care about you", it's "you don't factor into the decision at all".

I have always thought that thoughtlessness is worse than selfishness,

LemonysSnicket · 04/10/2018 09:49

To keep the peace I'd buy him some cheap products and keep them in the shower and ask him to use those.

Magicstar1 · 04/10/2018 10:02

I wouldn't bother asking him to buy his own...it's only a pound or so. Just get a couple of bottles on special offer and tell him you've got him his own, as you need yours for the long hair.

JessicaJonesJacket · 04/10/2018 10:06

Yeah as PP have said, buy him some cheap ones to use. Keep your's in a cupboard.
There is nothing more frustrating than getting in the shower thinking there is enough shower gel / shampoo / conditioner and an inconsiderate arse has used it all but left the bottle with a teeny smidgeon at the bottom so they don't need to put new bottles in. Angry

Rhiannon13 · 04/10/2018 10:10

My partner stays most weekends and has his own cupboard for his toiletries etc. He doesn't want me to use his any more than I want to share mine! Could you do something like that?

chickhonhoneybabe · 04/10/2018 10:19

I’d bit him a bar of soap and a shampoo bar, apparently they can last up to 80 washes.

uk.lush.com/search/site/Shampoo%20bar?f%5B0%5D=im_field_category_type%3A531

chickhonhoneybabe · 04/10/2018 10:20

Bit him! Lol! 😂 I meant buy him.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 04/10/2018 10:39

I think this is my most responded to thread ever on here

OP posts:
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