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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday hell

59 replies

josie231976 · 03/10/2018 18:11

Each year a member of the family rents a lovely house and invites us to join them. I cant face it next year. But the email has just arrived. How does one decline without kicking off a shit storm

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 03/10/2018 18:13

Just face it straight on 'thank you so much for inviting us, but we won't be joining you this year' and just keep repeating it

Whocansay · 03/10/2018 18:13

Just say no, you want to have a quiet one next year.

sleepismysuperpower1 · 03/10/2018 18:13

say you have already organised something but wish them well and hope they have fun

waxy1 · 03/10/2018 18:20

Tell them you’expect to be dead, or in jail, or getting knighted (damed?), parachuting behind enemy lines, poxed, paralised, drunk or suffering radiation sickness that week.

Easy.

WipsGlitter · 03/10/2018 18:31

Obviously you have to tell us what's so shit about it!

Mummydearest12 · 03/10/2018 18:33

Waxy Grin I second Whips suggestion

Cardiganandcuppa · 03/10/2018 18:34

Say you don’t have enough annual leave?

bluetrampolines · 03/10/2018 18:36

Imagine they might be secretly pleased you dont go?

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 03/10/2018 18:36

Just say you have something else booked

bluetrampolines · 03/10/2018 18:37

Each year josie gatecrashes our quiet family catch up. We know she so looks forward to seeing us and hate to let her down. She's expecting her invite any day now. What can I write without kicking up a shit storm?

Original poster
josie231976 · 03/10/2018 18:40

I work in a school so the leave one wont work.
The holiday consists of 4 families trying to live together and working round one person who is not used to living with kids and can be quite difficult. My kids have autism and both have seperate struggles being out of routine

OP posts:
Original poster
josie231976 · 03/10/2018 18:42

Im not gatecrashing but hey ty for your support

OP posts:
Whocansay · 03/10/2018 18:43

Why on earth don't you just say your kids struggle?

Banamara · 03/10/2018 18:44

Why can’t you face it with the family members?

I personally understand this in the general sense but maybe there is something else going on!

Holidays are just for us and we don’t share our time or accommodation with anyone else. Just me though maybe....

Aprilislonggone · 03/10/2018 18:45

Sorry but the dc want a holiday at home next time.
Blame the dc if you have to!!
Grin

Rebecca36 · 03/10/2018 18:46

Just say no, you want to do something different.

RockYourSocksOff · 03/10/2018 18:46

Think you have to be as honest as you can and just say you’re thinking of having a quieter break next year, it’s been a hard decision, hope you understand etc etc

Maybe the invitee is thinking the same too?

Original poster
josie231976 · 03/10/2018 18:48

Bcos my mum lives with us. I know she will take umbridge and go silent for sometime and my immediate family overbearing ...i will not hear end of. I am not going to put kids through it again but i ant simple life no confrontation

OP posts:
Mmer · 03/10/2018 18:48

Say that one of you DC is going to a summer camp or class, so you won't be able to make it.

RockYourSocksOff · 03/10/2018 18:50

Is there any reason why your mum can’t go without you?

RockYourSocksOff · 03/10/2018 18:52

Sometimes in life you have to stick to your guns and suffer the consequences, otherwise you’ll be even more miserable knowing you’ve got to do this holiday thing yet again.

CoughLaughFart · 03/10/2018 18:53

Fake your own death. Change your name, the way you look; take nothing from your old life. That’s gone now. Just go; go and don’t come back.

icelollycraving · 03/10/2018 18:59

We’ve done a couple of these. The idea was good. However, everyone got on each other’s nerves. Just say you find it too difficult with the children and so whilst you find their offer very kind but no. Not ever, not happening, no siree.
Can’t your mum still go?

Villanellesproudmum · 03/10/2018 18:59

My life improved hugely when I started to say no more, people asked less and I now don’t have to say no as much, win win.

worstmotherintheworld · 03/10/2018 18:59

I would have thought that if you live with your mum that is a good reason to want to do something separately so that you can all get a break from each other. Also having autistic children is a good reason to do something yourselves so that you are not on edge the whole time with relation who isn't great with them. Could you use the children as your get out? Maybe say you want to arrange something so that you can focus on them, doing activities that they like and having a good routine for them that isn't possible with so many people in the house.