Over crap school photo?

[autumnis]

I think I'm probably being over sensitive about this....

Ds7 has SEN (ASD, anxiety), crap year at school (excluded, reduced timetable, CAMHS - the works). He's still on a reduced timetable and generally I feel we're a complete nuisance to everyone and he's a massive financial / social / educational burden to everyone.

School photo today and the prof came home and it's completely shit. Poor ds looks like he's grimacing and straining for a poo or something. He's very articulate and explained how the photographer did something stupid with a toy which was designed to make children smile but it was completely illogical so ds was perplexed and he said by the time he realised what they meant, the photo was taken and he was ushered away.

Surely the first rule of being a commercial photographer is to check that your product is something someone will be willing to buy? There's no way I'm buying it. It's completely awful and made worse that it's another reminder that his school experience is completely shit and he's not even worth the time it takes to get a nice photo of him.

He's actually very handsome and quite photogenic. Not that anyone there could care to find out.

I know. I know. Overly sensitive given the situation. I'm going to have a moment to wallow then get over myself.

Wallow away. Then send back a note that say there is no way anyone would buy such an unflattering picture of their child, the photographer needs a new spiel!

The photographer only has a limited time to spend with each child. So they normally do their best but can't guarantee a perfect photo as they would if it was just an individual session.

My DS's photo looks as if he is chewing his lip; DD's last year her eyes were wide open as if she was terrified. It's all part of the "charm" of school photos.

If you want a nice photo, maybe take one yourself?

Oh my photos every year came back with my eyes closed as they were too sensitive for the flash. School photos aren't as important now what with the Amt of photos we all take. I'm sure you have lots of lovely photos of him.

YABVU...why such drama over a photo?! It has nothing to do with your son, it isn't personal. School photos are always crap. Move on and stop blaming the school for everything..

School photos are always crap... why worry? Take one yourself if you want one of him in his uniform.

DD's photo this year was terrible, both eyes closed, one eye closed, fake smile. I have bought a copy as it's her final year, but it is not good. They do have hundreds to take though so I doubt they have the time to retake them if they don't look good enough like a professional photographer would.

All the school photos of my kids have been appalling. I don't even recognise them.

We don't buy them. Stupidly expensive anyway. I have lots of my own photos of them where they actually look happy.

Chuck a blue sheet over a wall at home, get him looking nice in his uniform and take your own photo and have it printed and enlarged?

I hated school photos.

they are always hit and miss anyway. in 7 years of primary school only 2 of ds's pictures were worth buying. some had eyes closed, some had awful expressions.

we are waiting for his 3rd year of secondary school to come in, 1st and 2nd year photos were rejects too.

I get it.

You'd just like it to be easy for once. You'd like a souvenir of your handsome boy that makes you all feel positive about school.
It's about more than a photo; the photo is a symbol of your struggles, so try not to fixate on it. Most school photos are shit, but you are hanging more hopes on yours.
I get it, I really do.
Yanbu, but also try not to make it into a bigger deal than it really is.

I never buy the school photos, they're always crap. I prefer the "front door" photos from the start of each year

I've had really great and really awful school photos. I do get the impression that in recent years they've been in more of a hurry. Some of them the kids weren't even looking at the camera. My son't last one looked like hannibal lecter (it was seriously uncanny lots of people pointed it out). I didn't buy that one!

YABU to be upset but its not about the photo.
A few years ago DH did some school photography, he's hired for a tiny amount of time to photograph hundreds of children so there is really no time to give them second chances.
I think the fun part of school photos are supposed to be shit and embarrasing, our kids always end up looking a mess in them but we buy them all and put them in a album for the kids to go through and laugh at each and then take nice photos of them to put around the house.

OP isn't blaming the school, she's blaming the photographer stepmummamumma

YABU.

Aw I can see why you'r upset but it isn't really about the photo I guess.

Dress him up in his uniform, tell him you're really proud of him and get a nice smiley photo out in the garden or in front of your house with someone's iphone x in portrait mode. It does the fuzzy background - sharp face thing so well!

Well Sophie seems to be the only who really got why you're so sad, OP .

I'm so sorry your son is having such a hard time at school - I have a friend going through similar and I can see the pain etched on her face every time I see her.

I hope it improves soon x

I can see why you're upset but I think it's more because it feels like ANOTHER thing that hasn't gone his way in school and it's tiring feeling like you are the only one who cares. Wallow away. But just for an hour. Then onwards and upwards! I hope stuff starts to pick up for your son soon

At my kids primary school the official school photos every year were totally shit. They didn't even look like my kids! My youngest has ASD so I understand you have other issues to worry about as well. The photographer came back every year to do resits for those who were not happy with the photos and yet the school still used the same crappy company every year. I rarely bought the photos and instead used to get copies of normal family snaps and send these to aunties etc.

I know I'm being unreasonable really. Thank you to the few that can relate and get it, I don't think it's a common place to be.

It doesn't get better in secondary school.Last year the photo gave DD orange hair instead of her natural mud-blond.
This year,won't be buying it.

School photos are always shit.

autumnis I had a similar issue with DS when he was in Reception. Newly picked up SEN (eventually diagnosed with ASD) so I was particularly sensitive. He had social communication difficulties with a limited range of facial expressions, could smile genuinely when he felt like it but not "on demand". He would pull a face that he obviously thought was a smile but was actually more like a grimace. The TA & teacher thought it was hilarious, couldn't wait to show me.

I was so upset that I spoke to his SLT to ask if she thought I was over reacting, and she was very supportive. She made a point of mentioning it to them the next time she was in school.

So no, you are not BU!

I cut out the proofs of ours to stick on the 'wall of shame' (fridge). They're so bad they're funny!

I get where you're coming from, vent away.

I think it's Max Spielman where there will do "school" photos, usually better than the actual school ones.

I know this doesn't help with the crap one, but if you do want a photo it's something to consider