Over crap school photo?

[autumnis]

I think I'm probably being over sensitive about this....

Ds7 has SEN (ASD, anxiety), crap year at school (excluded, reduced timetable, CAMHS - the works). He's still on a reduced timetable and generally I feel we're a complete nuisance to everyone and he's a massive financial / social / educational burden to everyone.

School photo today and the prof came home and it's completely shit. Poor ds looks like he's grimacing and straining for a poo or something. He's very articulate and explained how the photographer did something stupid with a toy which was designed to make children smile but it was completely illogical so ds was perplexed and he said by the time he realised what they meant, the photo was taken and he was ushered away.

Surely the first rule of being a commercial photographer is to check that your product is something someone will be willing to buy? There's no way I'm buying it. It's completely awful and made worse that it's another reminder that his school experience is completely shit and he's not even worth the time it takes to get a nice photo of him.

He's actually very handsome and quite photogenic. Not that anyone there could care to find out.

I know. I know. Overly sensitive given the situation. I'm going to have a moment to wallow then get over myself.

Oh bless you. I think you are generally feeling a bit neglected and that your son has been let down in so many ways.

It's a shame and I would mention it for the class photos which are more important I'm my opinion. You can't recreate a class photo at home or go to a studio and lots of people will have a copy. So please tell the school how it made you feel. The class photos are often at the end of the year.
I know it doesnt take away the feeling of neglect, but an individual photo is so easy to recreate and often cheaper. If you go to sonewhere snappy snaps for instance you can have a photo in uniform and one without.

Get a head and torso shot against a plain background at home. He will have the brightest smile looking at his mum and you will avoid the extortionate cost of the school photo. Win win.

I get it OP.

My TA and I go into our class' session and stand over the photographer saying, "Nope, he's not smiling, take it again" until we get a nice one that actually resembles the child. He's used to us now

Can you afford to have a private session maybe? Some companies do a free sitting and then the photo only costs about a tenner.

Another one here who doesn't hold her breath when it comes to waiting for a decent school photo :)

Some years is good years ... but some years i wonder who the heck these kids are as they don't look like mine!

and as for the staff mug shots ...?! ye gods

Don't buy it and don't take it personally.
DS1 looked like an evil devil child on his school photos until about 2 years ago so I never bought them. Don't know why as I have tons of lovely photos of him from us.
DS2s so far have been ok but I doubt I'll buy them all.
School photos aren't as important as they used to be as we nearly all take many more photos of our kids than when we didn't have digital photos.

Ds generally refuses to even enter the room with the photographer! Getting a pic home to see how bad it is is a sign it must be a half decent photographer.

@FullOfJellyBeans

My son't last one looked like hannibal lecter (it was seriously uncanny lots of people pointed it out). I didn't buy that one!

That made me spit my tea out JellyBeans! Ok, I didn't really spit out my tea, but you appreciate the sentiment

If you don’t like it, don’t buy it!!

My dcs begged me not to buy their last 3 school photos because they were so awful. I have hundreds of much better ones on my phone. OP -it's ok, really. School photos don't matter as much as they used to. Wallow for a bit then make a cup of tea and crack on.

We had a really good photo on Yr1, then they changed the company and they were all shit so never got bought.

His YR7 wasn't particularily brilliant but as they wont have anymore I did buy it. The photographer had them pose against a dull background of books when they have black blazers, and at a funny angle

We have had some awful photos. We still buy one copy for the album and laugh at them!

Just refuse to buy it. I remember feeling like I had to buy them every year as some kind of record of my children. Then I just realised that I can take much better photos of them myself, wearing something much nicer than school uniform. I only buy them now if they are particularly nice. I know a parent where child wasn't even looking at the camera and another who's child's face was splashed with mud from playing outside....very funny to look back on but it doesn't say much about the photographer.

Decent photogs won't work for these crappy companies like Tempest who do school photos, they pay terribly so actual good photographers don't need to work for them. That's why the pics are rarely good. Get him booked in for some lovely outdoorsy autumn shots with a decent local photographer (Facebook is a good place to find them). They will get the best out of your lad and then you can both look at them and get a little boost from how lovely he looks xxx

I get it OP it's just that every single interaction that you have with school is negative, for once you just wanted one thing just to be "normal", for someone to take the time and see your DS as a person and worthy. It's the accumulation of lots of small things sometimes that just adds up to too much. Every single interaction we ha with our school office is negative. If you picked a single thing and told someone about it they would wonder why you were annoyed or upset. It's never about that one thing, it's about all the things.

Honestly though you either need to just dismiss it and not buy the photos and feed back to the photographer if you want, or buy the smallest pack for future comedic value as you may very well be able to laugh about it some day. This isn't the schools fault, it just feels like it.

I hope you are able to put it behind you. We have a similar photo where one of my DSs looks like an extra from Dumb and Dumber but the other looks beautifully angelic so we bought some as it seemed unfair on him not too. Had DS1 been in it on his own then I wouldn't have gone near them. Now 10 years later I think they both look fab and I'm glad we have the record of it:)

I actually did a bit of argos catalog style modeling as a kid (cringe) so I was obvs fairly photogenic but I always looked hideous in most school pics. They would do all sorts of daft stuff to get a smile!

We used to take our own against a neutral coloured wall at home. We could wait until they were in a photogenic mood, then print as many as we wanted.

Really sorry to hear that.

I get you, OP.

I know the photographers don't have much time with each child, but whenever I've seen them taking school pictures they seem to have time to sort out everyone is positioned well and smiling, so why couldn't they have done that for your DS?

Mind you, the last few years haven't produced great pictures for us. The most memorable for me though was DS2 (now 15) when he was in early primary school his picture had a massive scrape down his nose, he definitely didn't have one before or after the picture was taken though, no idea where it came from.

OP...we have just had the pleasure of the leading school photography company in my daughters school...you know the one ..begins with T!!! Anyway I havent a clue what happened but out she came running with her 3 choices of print to choose from....well chuff me it must have been one talented photographer cos somehow he turned my little girl into something only a mother could love! They were horrific,,so talented was the guy or lady my beautiful little girl had an option of buying pic one...windswept interesting unkempt no face just lots of mad hair...pic 2 what i like to call (and please dont be offended anyone } stroke pic.. now she may have been gunning for a cheeky lopsided grin kind of thing but no or pic 3 my daughter with half a head!!!!!!!! Now I am not tight nor do I expect them to capture what I see when I look at my girl but blimey!! I kept the £37.50 in my purse...so bad this year...unless of course I am a blinkered mum who doesnt quite realize that she does look like that!!!!!!

I get it!
One year they obviously "enhanced the photo" and DD looked like her head had been flattened - nothing like her.

Otherwise just get what support you can, and don't let them make you feel guilty. Stand up for your DS getting what he needs.

I know all about school budgets but without parents making a fuss the Government will never be held to account.

School photos are always crap and it's always a disappointment. Every time.

I can see it's sensitive when your kid's not having a great time (and I'm sorry to hear that), but I guess photographers in schools just don't have time to get a nice shot of everyone. DS pretty much always photographs nicely, but we've had some duff ones of DD, who is also lovely looking but doesn't always give good photo. I get out of it by alternating each year with buying class photos/photos of both of them.

At our school the photographer has to do photos of 460 in 6 hours, do the maths, it's highly likely that a large percentage will be a bit crap. I hate school photo day, really disruptive to normal lessons, they never look good and cost a fortune to buy.

I have lots of beautiful photos of my daughter that I have taken but never buy the school ones as she always looks uncomfortable and embarrassed in them. If you really want a nice one in his uniform, get him to sit for a few at home until you are happy. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to me.

Pick your battles honey.
This isn't one of them.