No to let my daughter wear make up?

[Florabella]

My daughter met is 11 - almost 12. She really wants to wear makeup (not to school) and tells me that most of her friends do (some do and some don't ).

She says she only wants-light make up for special occasions, but I know that would become every weekend! I had always said 13 before and make up. To me they are far to conscious of their appearance at too early an age.

What do you think? AIBU? I honestly don't know

It's her face, yabu.

If all parents said no their would be no peer pressure. Idiotic parents.

If al parents said no there would be even greater peer pressure to rebel!

If all parents said no their would be no peer pressure. Idiotic parents.

🙄

No, there would be the few that rebel as there has always been, but not the huge pressure to conform to an accepted norm which no young girl can escape.

Sometimes a choice is all they need.
I have one that loves make up and is actually very good at it, and one who doesn't wear any at all. It's really not a fight worth fighting.
If they are going to plaster it on, ask why. Are they having skin problems etc
I personally don't feel it's a big deal.

Our children live in a world with adult inventions like Snapchat filters and Photoshop everywhere. It is not surprising that they try to emulate that with make up.

My dd has been wearing makeup since secondary school started. In y7 she wore the wrong colours, overplucked her eyebrows... but by y9 went to school with better make up and brows than many adult women. Dd wears concealer, foundation, powder to set and mascara. She has rosacea so is very self conscious about her skin. She rarely gets spots and removes make up with an oil
cleanser. She has naturally super straight hair and just brushes it (with the odd Batiste day) She gets up independently and is ready she's before she has to leave. Her full routine )hair and makeup) is 15 minutes. I've heard many girls her age taking 1 hour + every day.

I took my dd into boots around that age. Cost me a bomb but the lady showed dd how to put on very basic make up and chose natural colours that suit her........she's honestly never gone through the clown phase and to this day wears barely there make up instead of trowelling it on like her peers.

I really don't understand the why makeup is such a big deal. My 23 year old is makeup artist, she never wears makeup to cover herself everyday, she's got perfect skin and great self confidence.
Younger kids are 4,5,9 and 11 and they can all wear as much makeup as they want just not to school because its fun and just dressing up.
If you forbid it, they are going to think its a big deal and develop an unhealthy relationship towards makeup.

I personally feel sad that kids are bombarded with YouTube makeup tutorials and vloggers promoting luxury makeup brands to kids still in primary school. My dd is limited to budget makeup from Superdrug and Boots but is happy with her Rimmel etc. She had a Kylie lip kit for Xmas last year but I won't be paying for the expensive stuff.

My mum agreed to lip balm (used to have an obsession with the body shop ones) and clear mascara at that age (is that still a thing). I wear make up now but not a lot, I don't understand contouring and things like that and my skin has always been pretty good despite PCOS so think the light touch make up probably helps. Maybe let her paint her toenails, I know most schools don't allow nail varnish.

Erm, please don't suggest all young girls are 'trapped' into wearing make up @Fatasfook as if they have no conscious thought of their own.

DSD is 15 and wears no make up, the only one of her friends to now do, she also doesn't shave her legs etc as 'she doesn't see why she should when men don't'

Her mum is a beauty therapist and is always done up, I wear make up daily and wouldn't dream of not shaving- she's clearly decided this route herself and not been set and example by us!

so I also have a 10 year old desperate to wear make up.
I never wear make up, not even to go out, possibly once year ta a big occasion.
She has an older sister who is 13 and abhors the whole concept of make up as a vile pressure from a mysogonist society

But she wants to. She has always been into things like glitter ans swirly skirts, and she wants to experiment.
She makes a bee-line for the face paint stall at every event.
Thing is, she is very allergic to face paint. A dolphin painted on her cheek will leave a red dolphin shaped mark for a week.
She is not allergic to most basic make-up.
So I have bought her some. She wears it at the weekend. She wears too much and it looks ridiculous. I have been teaching her how to apply it better and she has improved.
It is a form of dressing up. She doesn't have foundation, or eye liner, and I have insisted she does a better job of washing her face, but really, I cannot see the harm in it.
She can't wear it to school, nor will she be able to wear it to secondary.

Iv only read half the thread but as a non makeup wearer can I ask a couple of questions.

Why brown mascara? When I was that age as now I my eyelashes and hair were almost black so would that not have meant even then that black is the right colour rather than brown?

Is bb cream a type of foundation? Isn't that not great for your skin especially when your young?

I obviously know nothing!

Brown mascara would look more natural on someone with lighter coloured hair. Bb cream is several products in one, a tinted moisturiser, spf, primer and concealer. They are much lighter weight and more natural than a foundation. Think of it as a supercharged moisturiser!

Also...foundation can’t damage young skin. It’s rare these days that a foundation wouldn’t be non-comodegenic (non pore blocking). Breakouts would be just as likely from greasy hair, sleeping on a pillow that’s needing washing, touching face in school or just good old hormones. Not cleansing and thoroughly removing makeup could also be a problem. But the foundation itself isn’t damaging.

It’s just unnecessary for a child of 12 to be wearing it and they can end up caking otherwise lovely skin in it and hiding their natural beauty.

Can we kill the myth that make up damages skin, once and for all? Not removing it properly does the damage so a proper skin care regime is really important to go along side the make up.

I've never really got make up being a feminist issue. I've been a feminist all my adult life and I've worn make up all my adult life. I do it for me.

Let her have a little bit, some clear mascara and a bit of clear or natural pink lip gloss (natural collection is pretty good if memory serves me). For going out let her have a little bit of sparkly eyeshadow. The more you forbid it the more likely it is she'll go nuts when she does get it, so introduce it slowly and teach her how to do it properly.

My DD uses as it makes her confident at school as she is very self conscious of her skin

it is only beige, red and black paint - it is harmless and the teen phase of ghastly thick slap is fairly standard (been there!)

hopefully she'll get bored of it like many of us do, but meantime it is just paint. The main thing is that she knows it isn't compulsory, if visible it looks ridiculous (except on the stage) and it doesn't improve anyone's appearance.

it does make you look older which is why teens are so keen.

I let mine. I have never forbidden it as such.

However I don’t look at make up as an “improvement” on natural beauty. I think most people look better without.

So i have always taught my kids that make up, especially at their age, is about playing around, experimentation, and self expression rather than grooming or beautifying themselves. It’s almost evolved from playing with toddler face paint.

I would rather see my 13 yo go out full on goth, punk, black lipstick, fluorescent eyeshadow, than anything “subtle” or discreet. She has a lot of make up- but leans toward urban decay type of stuff. No nude pallets, but the strong dark and bright sparkly colours.

Clear mascara and nude lipstick? Fuck that. If teenagers are going to experiment they should do it properly .

do remember who Rimmel's main sleb beneficiary is - as I no longer wear makeup it is a useless boycott, but 'skinny feels' and illegal drug use which funds lots of crime, county lines and cuckoos is not someone I want to pay.

I dyed my dds eyelashes from 13 so that she didn't feel the need for mascara until now(15),I also got her lots of the body shop lip glosses.She had eyeshades when she was 14 and some money to go shopping for makeup with friends.Now the novelty has worn off she just wears mascara and lip gloss with a bit of eyeshades for occasions.
Some of her friends do all the contouring thing with the large slug eyebrows so I dodged a bullet there.

my dad wouldn't let me wear make up around that age when all my friend were and it was a really horrible experience for me.

I hardly ever wear it now but at that age when all my friends had lipgloss and mascara and I wasn't allowed it was really crap

It will destroy her skin. Maybe some lip gloss though (that won't do any harm). I would strongly reccomend beauty pie lip oil (it's like clear tinted lip gloss but super moisturising so may actually do sone good if she us probe to chapped lips). A lick of mascara as she gets older (make sure you reach her how to remove it). But keep her away from foundation as long as you have influence.

I think just let her, obviously nothing unsubtle that will get her into trouble. DD1 is 13 now and in Y9 and doesn't bother to wear any for school. In Y7 she would spend time faffing about with concealer, powder and mascara. Allowing her to wear it will mean she gets over this phase faster, trust me.