No to let my daughter wear make up?

[Florabella]

My daughter met is 11 - almost 12. She really wants to wear makeup (not to school) and tells me that most of her friends do (some do and some don't ).

She says she only wants-light make up for special occasions, but I know that would become every weekend! I had always said 13 before and make up. To me they are far to conscious of their appearance at too early an age.

What do you think? AIBU? I honestly don't know

She will just go to her mates and tango herself.

I couldn’t get annoyed at it at that age. Let her go daft. Take lots of photos. For embarrassment purposes when she’s older.

Thanks ladies. Looks like the vast majority are in favour of a little. Maybe I'll do the lip gloss and mascara then.

I know she does experiment at friends houses (she doesn't try to hide that from me), so the hygiene factor isn't one I had considered.

She has skin care products, and has worn nail varnish for years.

I think maybe I have just turned into my own mother!! 😂

I started wearing make up out of school at about 11 and in school around 13, only light and not very obvious but enough to make me feel confident. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

My dd is 13 (mind you she's taller then me!). Since 12 she started wearing a little brown eyeshadow and light mascara to school. I think it looks nice and I tell her so.

Believe me, I've seen very orange-caked girls when I rolled up to school to pick her up sometimes. Not sure how they get away with it!

I started to wear make up daily at the age of 12, before then I had been allowed a go on mums 'cafe au lait' or 'iced champink' lipstick from Avon for parties I never had any restrictions on how much I wore (wish my parents had intervened at the silvermine lipstick and silver eyeliner stage) and it made me feel so much better about myself at a time when everything seems to be changing.

I think it's important at that age to feel confident in yourself and if a little bit of mascara will help that then so be it. You can't control a lot of what happens to your body in those years but you can control what goes on your face and I think that's important

DD is 12 and her and all her friends have been makeup obsessed since year 6. I tell her to avoid foundation/concealer unless it’s for special occasions. But mascara, natural lip glosses and a little eye shadow are all ok with me as long as she doesn’t go mad.

It’s a battle I’m not willing to fight (I'm strict in other ways) as she’s a good kid and by allowing it she now self regulates. It’s a hard age for them and today’s world is pressured like it never was for us so if it gives her a sense of control and confidence then it’s not worth fighting over.

Plus they watch all the YouTube vids on how to do it so they do it flawlessly and never make stupid choices like we did. No blue eyeshadow here

I would be a bit sad if my dd got into make up but who knows it may happen

I think it's a good idea to let her try it. My mother banned it outright when I was about that age and rather than go the "trowel it on" way when I was once allowed, I just didn't have the confidence to start wearing makeup at all. It is a life skill to be able to do it well and quickly - and if she's not wearing it to school she's not really at risk of starting to feel like she has to be wearing it.

That's the truth @Whojimawhatsit! I see young girls with amazing make up now, much better than mine. Where the glitter lip gloss? Where's the neon pink blusher? These youngsters don't know they are born

I know some parents that let their daughters wear makeup in the house for dress up but just not outside of the house. I think with kids if you completely deny them something they can become obsessed with it. Let them have a little and they don't crave it so much.

Be logical about it. You have an arbitrary age in mind, but she doesn't agree with it. What do you think will change on her 13th birthday?

When I was her age my mum bought me a mascara and a lipgloss

I would make sure she avoids daily foundation - it can do horrible things to teenage skin, leading to blocked pores, leading to acne, leading to more foundation to cover it. It can be a vicious cycle. I got given make up kits as presents from about age ten. Just never bothered with it.

I think light make up is okay. Tinted lipbalm, lip gloss and a light coloured eyeshadow pallette would be fun for her to use. As long as they know that its only for the weekend and not for school.

Yes agree with memoryofsleep. No foundation/blusher/ powder. It reallydoes block the pores and leads to blackheads/spots. Young skin doesn't need that kind of stuff anyway!

I remember wearing concealer at 10 as I wanted to hide my spots.

I didn't wear any other make up until 12, when I wore concealer, pressed powder, lipstick, eye shadow & mascara.
At first I wore my mums but then she got me my own.

It was actually my mum who encouraged me to wear makeup, not my friends.

My DD is 10 and does a full face of makeup better than I do. Where's the harm? She takes all my good stuff though.

My DD3 is 12. She’s just started senior school.

She’s very keen on makeup and jewellery, and loves trying it out especially with her friends. I don’t mind her wearing it but we’ve had talks about hygiene, going overboard, not wearing it to school (she wears tinted lipgloss and a little concealer if she has a spot).

I’ve encouraged the idea that makeup enhances what you have naturally, not using it as a mask! She doesn’t like the artificial look luckily, and enjoys watching YouTube videos to learn more. She’s actually really good at applying it, helped by her older sisters advice too.

I don’t see the harm really. We’ve talked about not removing it properly leading to spots and blackheads and not teasing girls who don’t wear makeup. She’s pretty grounded and knows the limits.

I think makeup can be a nice “bonding” activity with her friends, I love hearing them giggling in her room doing each other’s makeup.

She's already conscious of her appearance so that ship's already sailed. Make up is a part of growing up for the majority of women, I'd support her in doing it well.

My GD is 7, lives with her mum (my son doesn't live there) and she wears nail polish on her toes, and occasionally wears a little bit of eyeshadow at weekends (she daubs in on herself) and lipgloss.

I bought her some kids' make-up so that she won't keep asking for mine when I see her!

Obviously no actual make-up like mascara etc.

And also ensure she removes it properly - balm cleanser and flannel, not wipes. There's been an awful lot of rubbish posted about make up blocking pores, etc. Only if it's not thoroughly removed.

Its pretty harmless. I was always allowed so I did just use it for special occasions and the school parties etc. In my teens it became a weekend thing then at college and when I first started working it was everyday.now it’s bsck to weekends and special occasions as I can’t be arses every day. Some mascara, gloss and eyeshadow are quite fun.

I agree girls now don’t go through the rite of passage we did, blue eyeshadow, thick mascara, stripy blusher and orange skin are how teens should look.

Do you wear makeup?
My toddler loves to do makeup because her mummy does. She isn’t allowed out of the house with it but It’s quite innocent I think.
You can be strict and say no makeup, but like others have said, it may make her do it when she’s out and then put loads on. I think a lipgloss and mascara will help her feel grown up but without it being OTT.
You need to do what’s right for you though and not get pressured if you are not comfortable with letting her.

Out of interest, the girls who do wear makeup from her friendship group, do you know what they are allowed to wear?

I'd say it's a bit young for proper makeup. But I've never ever worn any at all, so.

These replies!! Ffs! Children shouldn’t be wearing make up, and it’s up to us, the adults to all say no. Fucking ridiculous! They have precious little childhood as it is and adults encouring little girls to paint their faces is completely bizarre! If all parents said no their would be no peer pressure. Idiotic parents.