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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let sister in the house

52 replies

Plannergirl9 · 01/10/2018 19:09

It's my birthday tomorrow and my sister had asked to come round with 1yr old nephew. Usually this isn't a problem however, I have just started chemo I had my first treatment Saturday and DN has hand foot and mouth he was taken to OOH yesterday and was diagnosed. He isn't allowed to go to nursery this week.

I called my chemo nurse about seeing DN and the nurse said no, definitely not.

I had spoken to Dsis this morning to say sorry you can't visit at the moment. She then said that DN wanted to see me on my birthday so they would drive (45 minutes) to drive by and wave Confused. I said don't bother I'd Skype instead.

Dsis, DN and BIL turned up half an hour ago. DH opened the door and Dsis told him I said to come by. Obviously DH knew she was talking shite. Anyway long story short I shouted down from the top of the stairs, she shouldn't have bothered coming and I'd call her tomorrow. DH wouldn't let them in the house.

I've now had DM and DBrother on the phone about how mean I was to DN as I 'made' them drive 90minutes and shut the door in their face. I put dm right who now agrees with me.

Aibu to think my Dsis was a bit of a bint and it's her own fault for not listening. Why don't people listen? Ahh

Sorry for the rant.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 01/10/2018 19:11

Your sister is an idiot!

Chaosandmadness · 01/10/2018 19:12

YANBU your sister is definitely a bint

Lwmommy · 01/10/2018 19:12

Yeah your sister is the twat in this scenario

bumblenbean · 01/10/2018 19:13

Yup she’s definitely in the wrong here. It’s sweet your DN was so keen to wish you a happy bday but the circumstances were made clear to them and they should have respected that.

MumNeedsANap · 01/10/2018 19:13

Sister definitely in the wrong, there was absolutely no way you should have let her in!

Spudina · 01/10/2018 19:14

It's totally her fault! Good luck with your treatment OPFlowers

FrogFairy · 01/10/2018 19:14

Your sister is stupid.

Happy birthday for tomorrow and all the very best for your chemo journey.

MacosieAsunter · 01/10/2018 19:14

A 1 yo hasn't got a clue what a birthday is.

Secondly, none of your family understand the implications of chemo and immune systems?

Wolfiefan · 01/10/2018 19:14

She’s a bloody idiot. Good on your DH. Wishing you good health soon OP. Flowers

RebootYourEngine · 01/10/2018 19:14

YANBU. When my df had cancer my dsis was really thoughtless(to put it extremely nicely). She would visit all of the time whether her kids were well or ill.

I would send your sister a link about cancer, weakened immune systems, illness and how not to behave like a fucking stupid senseless idiot.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/10/2018 19:15

Your sister is awful. Truly shocking behaviour. With everything you're going through and the serious risk to your health being exposed to her son, what she has done is unforgivable in my book.

Luvly12 · 01/10/2018 19:15

Your sister is in the wrong and must not realise that chemo seriously weakens the immune system

You sought medical advice yet she still has ignored this? You sure she's not on a mission to top you off? Sorry no offence and I'm just trying to make light of the situation x

Northumberlandlass · 01/10/2018 19:15

You were absolutely right. She is a thoughtless idiot & she should not have turned up. I’d be fecking livid at her!

Original poster
Plannergirl9 · 01/10/2018 19:16

Sorry I don't have cancer, I should have been more clear. I'm getting a short treatment of chemo for my lupus. I've had it before so Dsis should have remembered.

OP posts:
QuacksInTheDark · 01/10/2018 19:16

I can’t believe your own sister would be so careless with your already fragile immune system given the circumstances!
What an absolute cow to not only do that in the first place but to then try and blame you for it and use her own child as emotional blackmail! I’d be so angry with her if I was you.

MatildaTheCat · 01/10/2018 19:17

It’s not sweet, a one year old has no desire to wish his aunt a happy birthday. Your sister is an attention seeking idiot. I’d suggest a round robin email to the whole family spelling out the dangers of infection during chemo.

Wishing you well and a happy birthday and many happy returns. Flowers

PrincessConsuelaBannanaHammock · 01/10/2018 19:17

Your sister is a total idiot. And sorry but so are your DM & brother for even calling to suggest it was remotely your fault. Happy birthday for tomorrow & good luck with your treatment Flowers

Luvly12 · 01/10/2018 19:17

Doesn't matter what you have ... chemo is tough. And your sister ignored you and medical advice, put you at risk and then went telling tales to your mum
CakeFlowers

CaveMaman · 01/10/2018 19:18

Your sister did a terrible thing. I hope your mum explains exactly what she did and why it was wrong. (And v glad she's on your side over this)

I'm so pleased your dh refused them entry.

I hope your chemo goes well and does what it's supposed to do, and that next year you can have a lovely birthday surrounded by your loved ones.

CottonTailRabbit · 01/10/2018 19:19

What a bizarre thing to do.

No way a one year old would be insisting on a birthday visit. Not that even, say, a three year old insisting would mean it should happen.

Why the hell did she do it? Does she like to find ways to be the victim? Is you having cancer getting in the way of that?

YeTalkShiteHen · 01/10/2018 19:21

Wow OP YWNBU at all.

It’s common knowledge that chemo messes with immunity and you can’t take chances!

Your sister sounds extremely manipulative and spiteful.

timeisnotaline · 01/10/2018 19:22

That’s not sweet at all! I too think a nice clear email to everyone about what you need to avoid while doing chemo. Is she just really really stupid or is it all about her?

ThanosSavedMe · 01/10/2018 19:22

Your sister is a twat. Has she always been like this?

ThanosSavedMe · 01/10/2018 19:23

And it’s total bullshit re your nephew. He doesn’t know what month / year it is let alone the day and significance of the day.

Maelstrop · 01/10/2018 19:29

Your sister’s an idiot, why was she so ridiculous?

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