Today I received a text message from my friend whom I live with.
She basically said she is going to put a lock on the appliances because I’m getting fat again. The tone was aggressive and accusatory.
The issue of my weight is very sensitive because I had a gastric sleeve last year and lost 35 kilos. A few months ago I lost my gallbladder so I can’t process fats properly.
I recently got down to 57kgs and I was very sick, my hair was falling out and I was weak all the time.
I’m now 60kgs and a size 8-10 (Australian size). My hair is growing back and I’m the happiest I’ve been for ages. My BMI is also in the healthy category.
I told this to my friend that my clothes are too big and my BMI is healthy and she stated (with exclamation points) that BMI means nothing and that I am overweight.
I know I’m not putting on weight, a lot of my size 10 clothes are too big for me. I wear size 8 shorts (originally the size 8 were too big - but now they fit), and small or extra small tops. Often a small is too big. I have to buy a completely new wardrobe for summer and I am stocking it with size 8 outfits. I have a thigh gap which I didn’t notice until my sister pointed it out. If I lose the thigh gap - I don’t care. I’m in my 30’s. I don’t want to be tiny.
I told her the dress I wore yesterday was too big for me and she responded “it was huge!!” (huge as in the size) - to give context it was a size 10 (from Portmans) it was very loose but I had nothing else to wear.
As a side note, my friend is a lot taller and is a size 10-12. She has put some weight on, but is also very active.
I’ve upped my protein intake and I’m eating small meals (only when I feel like it - if I’m not hungry, I won’t eat - if my digestion plays up I can only eat small amounts of porridge and nothing is absorbed).
Basically, I’m not hungry a great deal of the time, so if I feel like I’m going to pass out, I will eat something. If I haven’t had enough protein in 24 hours, I’ll eat some protein (either chicken or lamb).
People keep telling me I am losing more weight.
Last night our neighbours told me I had lost more weight (in front of my friend).
My hairdresser told me she didn’t recognise me yesterday because I’ve lost so much weight (I’ve been stable for months and seeing her for years, I think I’m just carrying a little different).
My friend said I should be a size 6 - but I’m happy to be a healthy size 8. I’ve lost no weight off my bra size and I don’t see a point in pushing myself and losing my hair again.
I met someone on the weekend and I really like him; I’m concerned that my friends comments will make me insecure in front of him.
Today’s messages have really hurt my feelings as they are aggressive and I feel it is abusive.
My friend said she’s throwing all my food out of the fridge - I have a little bit of lamb left and some fresh coriander. Basically nothing really because I clear it out regularly. I think there are potato wedges and some fruit icy things in the freezer and that is it.
I think she will get satisfaction from throwing those out.
The weird thing is, she bought me chocolate last week and there’s still some left.
I’m thinking that I’m going to have to store food at work (I need to eat), perhaps cook food at my sisters house. My concern is I need to eat small meals regularly. I’m at work right now and now I’m worrying about this!
I can’t afford to move out right now.
My question is, is my friend being unreasonable?
I find this behaviour controlling and abusive.
Also, has anyone else experienced this sort of behaviour from people around them after they have lost weight?