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To wonder how mums cope breastfeeding for so long

81 replies

Gizzygizmo · 30/09/2018 19:46

My little man is 9 months old (10 months on 7th October)
We are now at the biting, scratching, nipping stage... back flips, kicking around Confused
I feel awful but I’m so fed up and feel so ready to wean him.
I’m on some breastfeeding groups and wonder how the hell some make it so far, maybe it’s the sleepless nights and wanting me for comfort making me feel this way.
I am feeling so incredibly guilty.
Guess my unreasonable question would be is it selfish of me to want to wean him to regain some normality, get my body back and maybe have a decent sleep.
No idea how to wean and I’m bored of feelIng sorry for myself lol

OP posts:

MightyMousie · 30/09/2018 19:58

Don’t feel guilty, you’ve done amazingly. It’s what works for you. My last baby I breastfed till 27 months and she slept through 2 nights after I stopped. I’d had enough. I still felt guilty and sad. It’s the end of an era. 2 of mine I stopped at 10 months. 1 was 8 weeks. It’s all fine and I have the same bond with all 😊


YeOldeTrout · 30/09/2018 19:59

Supposedly my grandmother used to slap her biting babies (harsh times). She swore it worked very well.

If they're biting they're playing so not hungry. Gentle removal with definite scolding & not offering again for fair while could be effective way to deal with that.


ButtermilkBiscuits · 30/09/2018 19:59

Honestly if you're unhappy then just stop now while it's still easy to do. I wanted to stop around that age but persevered because I wanted to make it to a year and now my DS is nearly 2 and more obsessed with it than ever. I hate it and I wish I had stopped a long time ago. I just hate seeing his little face when I tell him no, so I always cave and let him maul me. Sad


YeOldeTrout · 30/09/2018 20:00

ps: put old (outgrown ideally) socks on their hands if you don't have integrated sleep mitts (to prevent pinching).


Mumoftwoyoungkids · 30/09/2018 20:02

Creeper8 I did 7 years in total too. Although I had nearly a year off in the middle. (I was pregnant for most of it though so sadly didn’t get to enjoy being able to put whatever I wanted into my body!)

As Creeper says - some people are biologically more suited to breastfeeding than others. I found it easy. My mum found it easy. My maternal grandmother found it easy. It is just the way we are. Whether it is because of the make up of our breasts (I have read some research that some women has milk ducts situated much closer to the “front” than others which apparently makes it easier) or the make up of our babies (to be fair - mine were very very greedy!) I don’t know. But they both fed beautifully from the very first feed.

I do remember the scratchy, bites phase with at least of them though. It doesn’t last very long so if you can just get through it then it will get easier.


PinkyU · 30/09/2018 20:04

And I’m sure you know not to pull lo back if he’s biting but to push his head/face into your breast to get him to unlatch.


Mumoftwoyoungkids · 30/09/2018 20:04

Btw - before I sound too smug - with sleeping I night-weaned one of mine at about 9 months. The other not until about 2.

Neither of the little buggers slept through until aged 3.[shocked]


stressedtiredbuthappy · 30/09/2018 20:05

Oh creeper, I'm sorry but I just don't believe you!!! Do you know how dangerous it is for a two week old to sleep through anyway???

Op wean now if you want,you've done amazingly and breastfeeding a toddler is far from easy, they wake frequently despite what you may be told!

It will make life a lot easier and all the best work through feeding happens in the early days. Do it!!


SoyDora · 30/09/2018 20:06

I made it to 6 months with both and then had completely had enough. No guilt, no regrets about stopping at that point. I just couldn’t do it anymore!


AlmostAlwyn · 30/09/2018 20:06

I balance the biting and scratching against all the other positives to breastfeeding! Once your wee one is on the move he'll be falling and banging into things all over the place. Quick feed and they're off again! When moving onto solids, I wasn't stressed about what my baby was eating or not eating because I knew breastmilk would fill in the gaps. It's not happened to me personally so far, but heard that with stomach bugs it can happen that sometimes baby can't keep anything down except breastmilk. I know it's good for my baby, but I feel like it makes my life easier too so I'm willing to put up with nipple twiddling now and again Smile

Stopping breastfeeding might not necessarily make your baby sleep more either.

But ultimately it's your choice. You wouldn't be selfish to make it! You do what's best for you and your baby and that's what matters!


Gizzygizmo · 30/09/2018 20:06

Thanks so much for the advise it makes me feel so much better and not alone Smile
I’ve 3 different bottles and a few sippy cups with no luck at all, I work part time so luckily not an issue while at work he waits for me to come home....
I know what you mean about the aversion at night when tired, makes my toes curl and I end up unlatching him before he’s done. Awful of me but it takes over

OP posts:

Sashkin · 30/09/2018 20:07

I really think 6-12 months is the worst bit. After a year they are eating enough that BF is just for comfort. We feed first thing in the morning (mostly to prolong my time in bed, he’d happily get up and start playing), when I get home from work, and pre-bed if I’m putting him to bed (if DH puts him to bed he happily goes without). So I don’t find that too problematic.

At 9mo I remember he was still feeding loads, plus he was mobile so much more of a pain to feed. I can shove DS off me and get up if he start playing up now, you can’t really do that to a 9mo.

The public “rummaging in my top for a boob” thing does get worse though. Much worse when they are walking and can climb up onto your lap on their own.


Herewegoagain01 · 30/09/2018 20:08

Biting does pass! We are at 19 months now and we have nipple grabbing, and belly button picking to contend with. Tbh I’m just sticking with it as ds has milk allergy and won’t touch any other milk substitutes otherwise I would have stopped a while ago. With bf you just get to the point where enough is enough. You’ve done v well to get so far, don’t feel bad if you decide to stop!


Creeper8 · 30/09/2018 20:09

Believe what you like. Doesnt matter to me. I have no reason to lie and tbf she was my first to do it, as the others didnt. I spoke to the mw as I was concerned and she said it was fine as long as she was gaining weight, and said I didnt need to wake her!

and I dont mind if I sound smug why act like bf is always this god awful thing we force ourselves to do. I love bf and planning to self wean with dd as I did with my others.


TeddyIsaHe · 30/09/2018 20:13

Dd went through a bloody awful stage at around 9/10 months and it drove me mad. Nipple twiddling! That nearly ended me.

Now at 22 months she’s a very polite and quick feeder, once in the morning, once at night. Maybe a quick feed if she’s fallen and really hurt herself during the day. I’m going to continue till she’s 2 as per WHO guidelines and then stop. I’ve loved every second of bf but I am ready to have my body back now!


Cheby · 30/09/2018 20:14

7-9 months was the worst for me, for biting/scratching etc. Socks on hands, scratch mitts, fiddle necklace for you to wear and them to hold, muslin to give them every time you feed so they can muck about with that instead of pinching you. It does pass. Currently feeding my 18 month old and while she still does piss about a fair bit there’s not biting or scratching. Plus when they’re older you can ask them to stop pissing about, and threaten to stop the feed. Seems to work here amy way. 😂


DelurkingAJ · 30/09/2018 20:15

Maybe obvious so forgive me if you’ve tried it but I found the acrobatics and the turning-head-whilst-grimly-digging-teeth-into-nipple move were much reduced by feeding in a completely quiet room with a large muslin draped over the baby and even a soother to hold. It did also get better and I fed DSs to 2. But goodness knows if you want to stop do and that there’s much luck in whether it works!


Gizzygizmo · 30/09/2018 20:16

I think night time is mainly for comfort, soon as the nip is in his mouth he falls asleep again but god forbid if I try pull away he sucks it back in like a hover

OP posts:

puzzledlady · 30/09/2018 20:16

I think as they get older and adjust, it gets easier? For my two it did anyway. Occasional accidental nip when they try to talk during a feed! I stopped at 2y4 months with my daughter and am currently still feeding my son who is 2. Twice a day, he now says ‘thank you’ and pulls my top up after 😂😂


cadburyegg · 30/09/2018 20:17

Some mums have an easier time than others, I’ve bf 2 babies and touch wood so far have not had mastitis but I know women who have had it several times, DS1 wasn’t a great sleeper but DS2 is which makes things easier.

DS2 is nearly 7 months so I’m still bf him but I weaned DS1 at 15 months. He forgot about it surprisingly quickly, a 9 month old would forget even quicker.

Well done for getting this far xx


Gizzygizmo · 30/09/2018 20:18

Socks on hands is a good idea to go back to, little razor fingers is starting to leave me rather sore

OP posts:

tinymeteor · 30/09/2018 20:19

I know just how you feel OP! You'll stop when it's right for you, but in the meantime it can be a hell of a job. My first was a really good, relaxed feeder, and even with her I was perfectly happy to be done at 11 months. My second is only 6 months but has been a lot harder to feed, really distractible, tugs and twists at me so I feel like I've gone 10 rounds with an angry piglet afterwards. If she'd take a bottle I'd be phasing BF out by now, but she won't so I'll soldier on until the sippy cup is accepted. Give yourself a pat on the back, some babies are easier than others, as I'm now learning.


SayNoToCarrots · 30/09/2018 20:24

I swapped my eldest over to bottles when he got teeth at ten months, but my youngest a) has had teeth since 4 months and b) won't take a bottle. I'm lucky that she rarely bites but I have no clue how I'm going to get her off, and we are nearing her first birthday.

Don't feel guilty for wanting to stop. You have done an excellent job to get to 9 months. Have you seen the stats? Most women don't make it to 9 weeks.


kayakingmum · 30/09/2018 20:27

If you feel like stopping, stop. Just do it over a few weeks so your little one gets used to it.


StinkyVonWinky · 30/09/2018 20:32

Echoing everyone here who's saying well done, you've made it this far and that is a long time in breastfeeding terms. If you're ready to stop then follow your gut instinct, now is the right time for you by the sounds of it. It's easy enough to do if your LO takes a bottle? Just replace a feed every three or four days with a bottle. You might find you keep going with an evening feed for quite a while yet if you've taken the pressure off yourself for the rest of the day. (And you never know what might happen in the future, I stopped at 8 months with DD because she was such a little biter but DS is still going strong at 2 1/2 years!)

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