Aibu for thinking I'll be too old?

[GrandTheftWalrus]

To have a second child?

Due to work I can't ttc until August next year by which point I'll be nearly 35 and dp will be 37.

If it happens in the first month again I'll be 36 when I give birth and my DP will be 38. His oldest child will be 16.

Is this too old?

I am wanting to wait to go to Ireland for 3 weeks next year for work.

However I do realise that work before my own family is rather stupid.

I think I need a conversation with my DP.

Also, frankly, who cares if you are considered "too old" by some people?

You want a 2nd child, you won't have a significant age gap (so it wont be like your DCs are at completely different stages). 32 - 36 isn't that much of a difference in terms of risk and stage of your life either. (It's not like you had your first at 18).

I had my second child at 36. Its fine

Could you not go to Ireland while pregnant?

What?! No. DH will be 46 when Dd2 is born and he has a few mates around the same age with pregnant wives and girlfriends!

See my own children will have a say 3 year gap.

My DP has children that'll be about a 14 year gap.

That's another thing that worries me.

last month i know a 53 y old that had her 4th

a 33 y old son a 3 y old a 2 y old and a newborn

all natural conceptions as she hasn't hit the menopause yet and still has regular periods

shes amazing tbh as the 3 and 2 y old are still regularly breast fed

im planning one in my late 30s/early 40s and im 38 soon i have a 14 and 8 y old

Whoever told your mum she was an elderly mother at 26 was misinformed (with some very lasting consequences, apparently!) - while the average age of mothers has increased, 26 wasn't considered unusually old in the 1980s when you must have been born! (And in any case it's the age of first pregnancies that's increased - women have always had babies into their late 30s and 40s, it's just that it was much more unusual for that to be their first child than it is now)

What is more important to you? Working in Ireland for 3 weeks or having a second chid?

This is such a non-question, and insulting to so many mums-netters. 34 year old has a baby, hardly a shock story.

Also, why can't you go to Ireland for 3 weeks while you're pregnant? I don't understand.

I had mine at 31, 34, 37 & 42. When DC4 was born the others were delighted & very helpful.

You wouldn't be too old by anybody's standards, & the age gaps between the various children are really not that important.

Do what you want to do, when you want to do it, & don't worry about anybody else. Good luck

36? No, you won't be too old. You see and hear about people having babies in their mid-30's the whole time and know that it's completely normal to have a baby at 36.

I had my 4th at 38

Wow, this is a depressing thread! Some of us sadly haven't met the right person yet and would like biological children or might have to wait longer than we'd hoped due to fertility issues. Surely you know its not too late?! It's hardly shocking to have a child in your mid thirties?! Or even early 40's these days is commonplace. As to your other questions, my mother was almost 39 when I was born, 20 years after my brother's birth...no one has ever raised an eyelid.

Too old for what?

If you want to, and you're capable of doing it, do it FFS.

what people forget is that before family planning women had babies hat were often the same age as their oldest daughter/son first children ie well into their forties, We are healthier & have better maternity care & have (mostly)better housing -actually women before1960 & certainly before 1950 did not necessarily have bathrooms, fridges, and central heating (even economy 7 is better than what they had) - I can remember our first house having ice on the bedroom on the inside so thick we couldn't see through.

i was exactly that 32 with my first and 36 with my second (3.2 years apart)

you need to go for it! don't leave it any longer

I had my 3rd at 36. DP was 48. I think you're fine!

Yes, I’m always surprised when I open these ‘am I too old to have a baby’ threads & the op is 35.

45 & I’d probably say yes.
At 35 you’ve got time for 2.

I had one DS at 24, second relationship and second DS at 36 final DD at 39. My mum is 18 years older than me its amazing to have her only be 60 now as she will see all my kids grow up hopefully. My only downside is if I only live till my eighties, I may only see my daughter reach her forties. But I will make those forty years special if I get them

Also don't understand why going to Ireland for three weeks is an issue. What is it specifically that you worried about in that respect? Its a country with a decent standard of healthcare, good hospitals and plenty of pregnant women. Everyone speaks English.

It depends how you feel. I'm 41 and had my 3rd at 36. I definitely wasn't too old at 36 to have a 3rd. If that had been my first child I would absolutely say yes to having 1 more into my 40s. But I definitely feel too old to have a 4th child, my older kids are hard work (lovely but with more age comes different needs and lots if emotions!!) I don't think I have it in me to deal with a newborn as well.

Maybe if my first two were older, say I'd had them in my mid 20s I would not feel it was so bad.

Basically I'd love a 4th but I know my limitations and yes they're age related. I'm getting less tolerant and more tired lol

OP, do you honestly think 35 is ‘old’? If so, then I guess that makes me prehistoric - I’m a 46 year old mum of two under 26 months.

Yes, well, pregnant women are turned back at Dublin airport. No pregnancy allowed in Ireland.