To confront my daughter?

[Worriedmum246]

I looked at Dd’s Phone and found messages to my friends’s son basically saying they kissed. They are 13. Dd is quite open with me about any issues at school but has kept this from me. She doesn’t know I looked at phone. We agreed a while ago that she could have privacy as she is growing up. The kids don’t see each other that often and I can keep an eye on them here. Don’t want to tell her I betrayed her trust as she might shut down totally. WWYD?

err do nothing

Butt out? She's 13 and it was just a kiss and you clearly aren't respecting her privacy like you agreed to.

Ask her if she is interested in anyone. Make sure she’s had ‘the talk’. Let her know if she ever wants to talk to her then your there for her. But don’t tell her you read the message because you promised her privacy and you breeched that.

You agreed that she would have privacy and then you.... looked at her phone. That aside, she's 13, she's kissed a lad - it's going to happen. You might not like the thought of it but it's going to happen.

No need to do anything IMO.

Personally, i would forget I ever saw that message.

Do you have any reason for concerns about this?

I wouldn't say anything. She's 13. Kissing is normal at that age. She will be embarrassed if you say you know and may hide other things

You realise you could wreck your relationship with your daughter if you wade in with this?

Confront her?

Jeez, way to ensure that she definitely won't tell you stuff in future!

Be ready for your daughter to never trust you again if you do.

You agreed she could have some privacy, but you haven't given her any, have you? If anyone should be confronting here it should be her confronting you! Leave her alone ffs, she's 13, she had a kiss, it's none of your business and no big deal, just normal 13yo stuff.

Do nothing! Trust and keep a quiet eye from a distance like you are now xx

Leave it alone. She's 13. She's growing up. She kissed a boy. I'm not seeing the problem.

If you've got an open relationship with her then you can talk about boundaries and not going too far and all of that stuff without telling her off for a bit of kissing.

Say what now?? Why would you be 'confronting' her about anything?

'Confront'? What an odd attitude.

Talk to her generally about consent, that her body is hers to make decisions about, about relationships and safety.

Then chill out.

Why did you agree to respect her privacy and then snoop about on her phone?! Confront her about what exactly? Kissing a boy is an entirely normal thing for a 13year old to do

Ffs it was a kiss, not BDSM on your kitchen table.

Fair enough ask if she's interested in anyone but "confronting" her is OTT.

Also if you'd agreed privacy then breaking that to look at her phone is a bit off too. Personally I wouldn't have agreed to that with a 13 year old but you can't say one thing then do another.

A kiss is not something to get angry about unless friend's son is an adult or something.

I think fifi has it right. Just have a general conversation with her asking if she likes anyone etc.
There is nothing to ‘confront’ her about, and she will never tell you anything if you do.

Just seen they are both 13. Say nothing.

Not sure exactly what you would be confronting her about

Why would you confront her? She hasn't don't anything wrong. What would you say?

I don't think you have anything to worry about, I would say nothing

I don’t understand the issue here.