I'm not being paranoid am I ?

[tina4567]

Recently started talking to a old friend who I was best friends with for over 10 years.
We were like best friends.
Me and her brother developed feelings for each other but he was in a relationship and had a young child so cut contact before it got worse but both said I love you.
My friend and I were friends after this and my friend knew as her brother used to chat to her about me.
Our friendship ended because she thought if I was in her life he would always "carry a torch" so to speak.
Anyway we have been texting (me and her ) daily for two months and it felt like old times.
I sent her a FB request and she said she had a viral infection so wasn't sure when she would next be on to add me.
Yet she was on her phone ,I also have her uncle on Facebook and she was commenting on his posts (so obviously just ignored my request )
Now she was the one who initiated speaking and has text me loads.
Am I being paranoid in thinking she doesn't want him to know we are chatting again? He is on her FB so he would clearly see.

If you managed to tell the brother that you loved him after never meeting in person then you should have no issues just texting your friend. But it isn't about that and you're obsessed with Facebook. Because people let "friends of friends" see comments. Give it up, it's so childish. Just make a new friend in person and date a bit. In person.

How many times are you going to post about this . You were unreasonable on your last thread, what different answers were you looking for here?

I feel for you op and have read all your posts.... I get that you're an all or nothing kind of friend but she obviously isn't at the moment. Leave the Facebook thing alone for now. Cancel the request and forget about it. Keep things light with the texts (and maybe not be so quick to reply) 30+ texts in a day is alot tbf. BUT I'm not saying walk away, your friend obviously wants some kind of friendship as she got in touch with you.... It sounds like it's all moved to pretty full on fairly quickly so I really feel you should slow things down a bit x
Re her brother, don't mention him to her at all, don't ask after him or anything - back when you initially broke contact with each other, you don't know what said brother had been saying to his sister about you. I get that she's being over cautious but that could be because she doesn't trust him... Not you! Go back to just chasing every now and then - surely that's better than having no contact?
Take things slow as I honestly feel for whatever reason, that's what your friend wants and you are running the risk of pushing her away for good.
Being friends on Facebook is certainly not the be all and end all of any friendship and really shouldn't be a deal breaker!
Good luck x

Go back to chatting not chasing

When I put met in person I meant 1-1
We had been out lots of times for meals etc in groups over 10 years.
I'm going to let her chase me (so to speak ) she does initiate the texts.
She text me a hour ago showing me some new makeup she bought

I have lots of other friends.

If you never met the brother, but you see his wife? How does that work?
Armed forces/prison?

I have met the brother
I meant we never went out together just the two of us.

I'm going to let her chase me (so to speak ) she does initiate the texts.
She text me a hour ago showing me some new makeup she bought
I honestly think that's best.... Eventually it'll hopefully grow, and if you feel like dropping her a message about something, do... Just take it slowly and hopefully it'll all work out xx

Do you still have feelings for her Dbro. Maybe she blanked you as she thought your feelings were far to intense. Now the friendship has rekindled she probably feels it is about her Dbro instead. If you genuinely want to be her friend cancel the friend request and continue texting.

I don't have feelings anymore (haven't seen him in months )
I said to her before I send the request "do you mind?" She said no
Then ignored it
I would love to go for a drink with her,stuff Facebook.
Or even coffee and cake ..even if it's in my house where nobody would see us.

It is strange she is hiding you. She is either protecting her Dbros relationship or just stringing you along, saying what you want to hear. I don't think you are paranoid, I think you need to move on and leave the friendship behind, it is unfair that you are loosing out, blood is thicker than water. Forget both of them.

I'm just going to leave it.
It's clear she isn't going to get back to how we were once upon a time.

I’m glad you have taken on the advice given to you on this thread

The Facebook thing isn't important. If you actually want to meet her for a coffee why not invite her for a coffee if she says no or procrastinates then you have your answer. Surely it is possible she doesn't want her brother or his partner or extended family to know you are friends why is this such a deal breaker for you?