To hate people trying to judge who my children look like

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They look exactly like themselves.

How odd.

This thread that is.

I think it’s just something to say. Like how a baby is big or small or has lots of hair.

What? Do you mean people saying that they look like their father or you? I can't get annoyed about stuff like that tbh.

But surely they'll have features of their parents It's just one of those small talk topics

YABU

Is that you Nicola from finance?

You do realise they don’t actually give a toss? It’s just idle chit-chat. Every parent on the planet has heard it from someone. Chill.

Unless of course, they are the milkmans?

I don't think people are 'judging', it's just a fun thing for most people to try and spot a family resemblance - it's sometimes easier for outsiders to do this than to see some of your own features in a baby. I guess I wouldn't tell someone their baby looked like their dad if they had split up and it was acrimonious for example but otherwise I wouldn't think it would offend people usually

Why would it be an issue? People have always been struck by how much like my mum I am to the point they can't not comment on it, like the words fall out their mouths before brain engages . Hasn't affected either of us!

Why would it annoy you?
Kids take after their parents somehow.

I get you, OP. My DM was for a long time obsessed with my baby supposedly looking like my FIL, which grew so tiresome.

Why?

Doesn't bother me. I know exactly what I'd look like with a pixie cut, it's that obvious

But lots of children look like a wonderful mix of their families; it's nice to spot which nose came from which parent.

Mine are entirely their fathers with none of my looks aside from my white blonde hair and very bright blue eyes. Fortunately they also got my magnificent lunges and inappropriate behaviour in awkward social situations, so I know they're definitely mine.

My mum used to say about ours
" well we can tell who the father is, not sure about the mother"
Now that got a bit tiresome!

I totally get it OP, my MiL refuses to acknowledge that I have anything to do with my 2 dc, they apparently only look and behave like my dh. Have given up listening!!!!

Also, my MIL used to be mad on telling me how much DS2 was like her side of the family and how he'd inherited nothing of me. He sat there one Sunday at lunch time slowly picking his nose and wiping it on the dog and I said "Ooh yes, he really is just like you isn't he?" and she never mentioned it again.

Everyone has heritage.

Personally I loved that we are here because of all our ancestors who were here before us.

It is mostly small talk, although DD is very like me, obviously better looking than I ever was. DS is very like my DBro.

People see different things in kids than we do as we are so close, my eldest son is the clone of his dad though my second son doesn’t look like anyone and my third son is the double of his dad (dif Dad) and 4th son doesn’t look like anyone either and not one boy looks like another they could all be unrelated tends to be older people who comment I just nod and smile as usually they’ll say what nice Boys there are too (in public probably just as well they don’t see them at home it’s chaos)

Yabu

They are not judging just making boring, gap filling, predictable....

Small talk

Is judging the right word?

Are you not genetically related to your child? I’m just wondering if this is a difficult topic for some reason as it’s quite an ordinary thing but if there is some different circumstance your feelings would make more sense.

You’ve misused the word ‘judge’, people just trying to be friendly - think you’re over reacting