To hate people trying to judge who my children look like

[afloat]

They look exactly like themselves.

Genetics are interesting 🤷🏽‍♀️

It's just something to say when you see a kid. Like "oh my goodness she's so much bigger" (of course she's bigger I last saw her 4 years ago when she was 2).

Although I never comment any more on who the child looks like as last time I made a remark that an acquaintance's son looked so much like her (I actually really thought he did) and she gave me an odd look and told me he was adopted.

Stop judging what other people do.

Sorry, I don’t think I understand. What exactly is the problem? Do you not like them looking like you / their dad? Maybe you have good reason not to want this.

Why? Do they look like* their father (and that is Donald Trump)?

*I apologise profusely for judging what they look like.

...no bigger problems huh?

Genetics are indeed interesting. It was always a bit baffling as to who DC4 looked like - until MIL produced a photo of her father, who died when she was young. There was a nice looking, smiley man sat in a field with a dog sometime in the 1930s, and it was the absolute image of DC4. Could have been the same person.

DMIL kept saying DS was not like his Dad etc nothing like their side 😲
.....
Said yeah he's the milkmans after a while lucky my Mil is a love and laughed.

Also, I was adopted as a child but always loved when people would say to my parents "ooh doesn't she look like her Dad" when I went to live with them. It made me feel as though I belonged. I'm the double of my Aunty, too, and love that despite sharing no DNA, I look like I belong.

StripySocks you can joke but one of mine looked like Boris Johnson as a baby!

Weird thing to be so annoyed about.

My ds looks very like me and I love it when people notice it.

I love it.

My eldest DS is the spit of his Dad however my aunts are convinced he looks like me. I think they're just trying to keep hold of our genes

@OatsBeansBarley to be fair Boris Johnson looks like all babies.

My dad is adopted and I always loved it when people said I looked like my granny, his mum. I did! She loved it too.

@OatsBeansBarley: it's good you can use 'looked' though!!

I don't hate them, but it does irritate me too!

I like it when people say dd looks like me.... cause to me she is the spit of her dad
....

But she also has her own lovely features and personality....

I look just like my mum and started being like her..hate it

Why does it bother you?

My oldest is the image of his Dad, my youngest looks like my Dad. I've a cousin who i didn't think looked like either of her parents until I saw a young photo of her mum.

Sometimes it's just something nice to say.
I came across a poorly got the same age as mine. I'm sure the mum was thinking the same as I was "he should be able to do what mine could", I wanted to say something nice to the mum but couldn't think what so commented on his beautiful looks.
Was that really a bad thing?

I understand OP. People are often unintentionally rude. In my case DC looks white (gets an amazing tan) with incredible blonde but afro type hair. DH was mixed race and very dark although one parent had a typical Celtic skin tone. It is exhausting trying to explain genetics to people.

I don't mind it most of the time. I only get annoyed when people say things like "thankfully they look like their [one parent]" or "good, they don't have your hair, it's more like..." or other things where it comes across as a negative about one of the parents.

I've gotten comments like that more than a few times and I just want to ask if it was needed to insult us (either our looks or our taste in partners) to compliment a kid. I know it's idle chat but there were times it just felt like a smack when I was already low. I don't think my kids look like either my partner or I - I can see a few bits of other relatives, but the four of them mostly look a lot like each other.

To give some context, I posted this after my father insisted for the nth time that my daughter looks exactly like my SIL and her daughter. This is after years of telling everyone how she's the image of my FIL. It's really tiresome and I guess I feel a bit sad when he insists she's nothing like me. I see a few commenters have also had that experience.

I also find the idle chit chat from various distant relatives about whose nose is whose really tiresome.

OK, "hate" was a strong word to use, maybe I just had enough of my dad today

Something like "she's got her father's beautiful curls" is to me no problem and quite nice; reflecting now I guess I just feel left out!

Yanbu mil does this every time we see her with 4 month old dd. Ffs is she still going to be saying it when she’s 18!

I understand OP. People are often unintentionally rude. In my case DC looks white (gets an amazing tan) with incredible blonde but afro type hair. DH was mixed race and very dark although one parent had a typical Celtic skin tone. It is exhausting trying to explain genetics to people.

I don't find it rude for people to show an interest in your DC if they are not being offensive. You can explain as much or as little as you want, people are just making conversation. If it wasn't about that it would be about something else!

I grew up being asked about my heritage but I only minded when people asked "where are you from?" Me: "Britain" Them: "no, where are you really from?" Me: "I'm really from here!" If they asked me about my heritage or ethnicity I was delighted to explain!

OP, YABU.

Is that you Nicola from finance?

This made me