To expect my DDad to come home early for birth of grandchild

[Thefirstofthelasts]

Need objective opinions on whether IABU or if I'm just a pregnant hormonal mess

DDad spends half his time abroad in holiday home... Currently abroad now and due to come back 6 days after my new baby is being born (I know the date specifically as it's a Csection)

Current trip was booked before I was pregnant, but have obviously since told him the planned CS date several times and said about him changing his flights to come home in time to meet DGC first

Before he even left for this trip or indeed looked into the cost of swapping he weren't overly enthusiastic about bringing the home date forward.... Since he's out there now and I've reiterated the date to him he's checked how much it will cost and it's in region of £100 to swap flights to come home earlier

His initial text to me was that it would cost too much so he won't be doing it

After I complained to him about putting money before DGC he then back tracked saying it's not about the money, this trip was booked before you were pregnant or he wouldn't have chosen these dates

AIBU to be absolutely furious

Or am I just a hormonal mess?

It is "only" 6 days. I get it. Drop in the ocean.

If this was a once in a lifetime holiday he's been saving his whole life /retirement for I would get it, and wouldn't expect him to come home early. But it's not, he's there almost 50/50

IMO these special life events (probably the last one he will experience as I won't have anymore DC) comes before money

IMO he can afford it. The £100 "saved" by not coming back early would easily be spent in the extra 6 days of his trip

AiBU?

I think you're being a little over the top. He'll be back when the baby is 6 days old, not 6 weeks or 6 months. You might feel rough after the operation, and welcome the recovery time before seeing him.

Yabu.... completely

Sorry but I don't understand why you think he should be there. I was on holiday when my first grandchild was born.

Sorry, I think you are being overly hormonal too. 6 days is nothing. Meeting his grandchild for the first time won't be any less of a special moment than it would be a few days earlier.

It makes absolutely no difference whether he sees your baby at 6 days old or 1 day old. It really won’t.
We lived 150 miles from my family when DD1 was born so no one saw her until the following weekend (my mum) and about 10 days later (my dad) as they were at work. It seriously didn’t matter.

Sorry but I think

Oh and DH’s parents live in Spain so I think she was about 4 weeks old by the time they came over.

Sorry but yabu. It's 6 days, take those 6 days to heal and get to know your baby.

If this was the first grandchild or your first child, I would agree with you. But you've all 'been there, done that' before. YABU

6 days is nothing!

Even then you will still be very much finding your feet.

So definitely a consensus that I am a hormonal mess 🤣 which isn't suprising TBH

Yabu. Even 'a little bit miffed' would be being unreasonable. To be 'absolutely fuming' is absurd. Sorry.

YAB(incredibly)U

If it was his baby being born I'd understand but grandchild can wait a few days.

Sorry you are feeling the way you do, don't let it ruin this special time for you.

Use the time to bond with your new baby and don't worry

Yes yabu but you can blame that on your pg hormones

Sorry but YABU - your baby will still be a squishy newborn at 6 days old so from your dad’s point of view he’s not missing anything (and there’s nothing to gain from getting home sooner).

YABU 100%

There are posters on here who won’t let anybody see their baby for the first week except them and the father. They are batshit, but, meaning this nicely, so is your idea that he must come home.

YABU. It's just 6 days. Doesn't make a blind bit of difference.

YABU it's six days, you might end up staying in hospital a bit longer, not feeling up to visitors etc. Six days will make no difference. You're being precious

YABU. Unless you really need his help and he is very hands on?

Presumably you won’t have him at the hospital to support you through the C Section and recovery though? Once you’ve had the surgery you may even appreciate a few days before you have visitors.

My DD1 was 2 months old when she first met her maternal grandparents and 5 months when she met her paternal ones. It was the meeting that was moving, magical even, not her being a newborn. They had seen photos etc - it’s even easier now with Skype or FaceTime.

I don’t know your family dynamics, OP, other than what you have written here but, yes, I think you are getting this out of proportion.

YABU
Look at all the threads here about new parents wanting time alone with the new baby before grandparents/relatives arrive.
Make the most of a private secluded time with your new baby.

YABU. My parents were visiting my sister abroad when DC3 was born a month early. It was a bit of a pain for all of us (they were supposed to be our childcare!) but I don’t think any of us really considered that they should come home early. We had only just got out of hospital a week later when they came home so at least they got to see her properly rather than being restricted to hospital visiting hours.

Sorry yab utterly u