Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU in thinking a drunken 18 year old boy should not be called to account for behaviour 35 years later?

436 replies

longwayoff · 28/09/2018 16:43

I'm conflicted. Brett Kavanaugh, nominated by Trump as a Supreme Court judge, has been accused of locking Dr Christine Blasey Ford in a bedroom and sexually assaulting her. This happened in the early 1980s when they were teens at a party and he was very drunk, she hadnt been drinking. She says she is 100 percent certain he did this. He says wasn't me guv.
Her televised evidence was upsetting and convincing. I believe what she says and feel she should have whatever she needs to help her. BUT. Drunken 18 year old boy/man. All these years later? Is that fair? To wreck his career now? Personally, I loathe Trump and all his works, so politically I'm glad to see a fail. But this is not sitting well with me. I feel I should feel better about this. Convince me please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
treaclesoda · 28/09/2018 16:53

Of course he should be called to account for himself. Time doesn't make things magically disappear.

His career goal makes his attitude towards women even more important than the average man's attitude towards women because he will have an influence over the entire notion of justice.

ajandjjmum · 28/09/2018 16:53

The most unfortunate thing is that Dr. Ford did not report this sooner, as it sadly is being misconstrued as being political.

I thought she was totally convincing and felt very sorry for her, but I wish she'd have found the courage to come forward years ago.

tiredtiredtiredtired · 28/09/2018 16:53

Biscuit Goady post OP

Rebecca36 · 28/09/2018 16:54

Locking the girl in a room in order to sexually assault her is quite serious stuff, it's calculated, it's much more than a sloppy, drunken grope.

I honestly don't know how the allegation can be proved either way.

Innocent until proven guilty, it's a pity this has so much publicity - and televised! (I haven't seen it btw, only read about it.)

ArtemisWeatherwax · 28/09/2018 16:54

Ideally he would have been held account for it at the time - the first time he ever sexually assaulted someone should have been the last time. I doubt it was, and I doubt she's the only victim still affected decades later.

Want2bSupermum · 28/09/2018 16:54

My issue with her story is that I do believe she was assulted but she never said anything earlier when he became a judge. It's only now that he is up for a Supreme Court position that she speaks out.

The part that is missing here is that the message should be made clear that if something happens you need to report to the police when it happens. You will be heard and treated with respect. I thought she was treated with respect and she was heard yesterday. The issue with her case is that she has no factual evidence that says it was definitively him who assulted her. He is relying on a diary he kept which is also not evidence that can be relied upon.

JeezYouLoon · 28/09/2018 16:55

newyorker74 totally agree with this comment.

YABU OP

PositivelyPERF · 28/09/2018 16:56

By the way, if a female relative of yours, was sexually attacked by a drunken 18yr old NOW, which one would you defend. Wanker.

picklemepopcorn · 28/09/2018 16:57

Should a man- who shows no remorse and has made no amends/served no sentence- for having as a drunken 18yr old committed a violent robbery, raided a post office, or glassed someone in a row in a pub be given a responsible, high profile job all these years later?

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/09/2018 16:57

The part that is missing here is that the message should be made clear that if something happens you need to report to the police when it happens. You will be heard and treated with respect

That's rarely the case though is it. It's no wonder people wait and wait until they are strong enough to do it.

theworldistoosmall · 28/09/2018 16:58

So what excuses his crime then?
Being 18.
Drunk.
35 years ago
Combination of all three?
There is NEVER an excuse for rape. If he didn't want this to come back and bite him on the arse, he should have made a choice NOT to rape. It's his own fault. He decided to be a rapist. She didn't decide to be raped. She will live with the mental scars for the rest of her life, but he should be fine to carry on because it's been 35 years? Nope, it shouldn't work like that.
And I wouldn't want a rapist judge presiding over any rape case I brought to court.

chicken2015 · 28/09/2018 17:00

I have been following this very closely, its so weird that america has this life long appointments , surely a man who has great power for next 40 years should not be a sexual ssaulter even if it was 35 years ago thats just a standard surely! Surely the bar is not set that low, most of the population of men are able not to perform sexual assault, doesnt matter when it was suppose to happen.
I would also agree more with you, if during the hearing he came across regretful, remorseful or just not a d**k, but he was angry aggressive evasive and tried blaming the clintons among other things! He was horrid and it really shows how far down the rabbit hole america has gone and also just how compromised to the russian investagation the Republicans are.

Graphista · 28/09/2018 17:02

He should he be held accountable because he chose to act that way, he was an adult and knew what he was doing was wrong. The passage of time is irrelevant, we all know how hard it is and how long it can take for victims to come forward.

In addition his career, and certainly nomination to the superme court, is basically at times, deciding what other young men who acted as he did should be held accountable for, AND if and how they should be punished. If his moral compass is so screwed that he can't see that this was completely unacceptable behaviour, would you really want him deciding on how future victims and perpetrators are treated?!

My dds male friends at 14 knew better!

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/09/2018 17:02

It’s all right, Want2bSupermum - Donald Trump’s already made that message crystal clear for everyone 🙄

Must be good to know you and he are on the same page, hey?

Oh -you might also like to read up on why #WhyIDidntReport is trending...

AIBU in thinking a drunken 18 year old boy should not be called to account for behaviour 35 years later?
bridgetreilly · 28/09/2018 17:04

If he'd been held to account for it 35 years ago, we'd all know he was a rapist and he wouldn't have got away with it for this long. Getting away with something for a long time is no reason not to hold someone to account for it now. In particular with sexual assault there are a LOT of extremely good reasons why women often don't speak up about it immediately.

Kavanaugh says he didn't do it. Given his drunkenness it seems to me that the very best he could honestly say is that he doesn't remember doing it. That's not much of a defence, imo. The reality with this kind of thing is that the perpetrators probably often don't remember. The victims aren't ever able to forget.

I don't care about the timing. Sure, it's inconvenient for his career. I expect being raped was inconvenient for her, too. She didn't have any choice about that, so why should he?

Celebelly · 28/09/2018 17:06

Alcohol is so often used a reason to try absolve a man's responsibility for sexual assault, but in the same breath is used as a reason to blame women for being victims.

The vast majority of 18-year-olds manage to get drunk and not commit sexual assault. If you sexually assault someone, it doesn't matter how drunk you are. That is not an excuse. And anyone who got away with it 20 years ago is bloody lucky they've had that time to build their own life before being brought to account for it.

Graphista · 28/09/2018 17:06

"You will be heard and treated with respect" that is FAR from the experience of many victims and I suspect you KNOW that!

chicken2015 · 28/09/2018 17:06

Its clear the republicans want to rush Kavanagh though because he will clearly be for republicans if and when they r

KennDodd · 28/09/2018 17:07

Lets imagine she had reported it at the time and he had been prosecuted and found guilty (unlikely) at the time. Do you think he would have then had the career he's had? I don't, so why should he get to keep it because still (sad to sat probably wisely) didn't report it at the time?

And really is the barrel so low that they can't find anybody who hasn't assaulted women to do the job?

bridgetreilly · 28/09/2018 17:07

The part that is missing here is that the message should be made clear that if something happens you need to report to the police when it happens. You will be heard and treated with respect.

Hahahahahah.

Tell that to the woman raped by Brock Turner.

BlowPoke · 28/09/2018 17:07

I’m American so I’ve been watching this closely. Here’s the thing: this is not a criminal trial. Even if people believe Dr Blasey Ford’s account, it’s not like Brett Kavanaugh is going to be punished. What’s happening is essentially a job interview for a position that requires the utmost integrity (Clarence Thomas notwithstanding.) Appointment to the Supreme Court is for life. I just think he should not get this job.

ladybee28 · 28/09/2018 17:08

My issue with her story is that I do believe she was assaulted but she never said anything earlier when he became a judge. It's only now that he is up for a Supreme Court position that she speaks out.

So what?

AornisHades · 28/09/2018 17:09

you need to report to the police when it happens. You will be heard and treated with respect
It may have been different in the US but let me tell you 30 years ago you weren't always heard and treated with respect in England.

Graphista · 28/09/2018 17:09

"Tell that to the woman raped by Brock Turner." Exactly! And he had far less power than this guy!

Want2bSupermum · 28/09/2018 17:09

Giles Its sad that that's the case in so many places. I understand why she wouldn't have spoken out earlier but I think to speak out at this stage in his career is odd.

The democrats and republicans are equally rotten. The fact she wrote to her representative who is a democrat is off. I'd be writing to everyone. Its also unclear as to who is funding her legal team. That bill should be picked up by the tax payer and not a political affiliation.