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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to announce pregnancy on social media?

75 replies

Familyfeud22 · 28/09/2018 13:34

Me and DH had 12 week scan yesterday, all looking great. Close family and friends know already, but I was really looking forward to putting a picture on fb announcing it!
DH straight away said I shouldn't because he doesn't 'want everyone knowing our business.' He's more than happy for close friends and family to know, but just doesn't want it on Facebook.

I think I might be being a bit unreasonable, as anyone that matters already knows, I just can't help feeling disappointed that I can't just share if with anyone and everyone else.

Do I just accept the fact of not sharing my pregnancy on fb, or is DH being unreasonable in saying I shouldn't?

Did anyone not announce on social media for the same reasons?

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 28/09/2018 13:37

I’m not on FB but dp is and he can do what he wants as far as I’m concerned.

I’m very aware that people having difficulties struggle with Facebook overloads of other people’s pregnancies/babies so it’s worth a thought if you do go that way, but if you want to then imho it’s up to you.

It’s an exciting time and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to share that.

PinkHeart5914 · 28/09/2018 13:38

It’s an exciting time and I don’t personally see anything wrong with sharing on social media, I love seeing old friends scan pictures and such like as it’s such happy news.

Presumably you & your dh are only friends on social media with people you know and the accounts are private apart from them people? So I don’t really see him point tbh

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/09/2018 13:40

Well everyone is going to know pretty soon anyway. I think the big bump or you waltzing around with a pram might give the game away.Grin. Being pregnant isn't "business" There are millions of women who are pregnant.
Congrats BTWFlowers

SplishSplashSplosh · 28/09/2018 13:40

Congratulations on the pregnancy.

I don't really see the problem with announcing it if that is what you want to do.

I announced both mine although I did wait until about 16 - 18 weeks.

Is your hubby generally excited about the pregnancy?

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 28/09/2018 13:40

I didn't announce on social media during either, mainly because I had a previous late loss and it was an incredibly difficult time, worrying in case history repeated itself.

However, I love when friends share lovely news, and if you're happy to share yours you're not U.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/09/2018 13:41

Who's on your FB? Surely it's people you know and like? I don't understand your DH.

LightDrizzle · 28/09/2018 13:42

I think when it come to SM sharing, you each get right of veto.
When it comes to birthing and post partum-choices then the woman giving birth calls trumps, but that isn’t the case with this.

MrsStrowman · 28/09/2018 13:42

I didn't want to do a social media announcement, people who are important enough to know, found out as and when we saw them or spoke to them, but MIL did one (1st GC bit over excited) and I didn't want other family and friends we don't see as often thinking we were deliberately not telling them, so I did a brief one line to say we were having a baby. No scans, no updates since, no gender reveal, no baby shower. It's just not that interesting to everyone else. A former colleague is due about six weeks after me and posts relentlessly, I've unfollowed her (not unfriended) as it's tiresome.

hangrymoo · 28/09/2018 13:43

The way I see it is that your Facebook wall/Instagram is telling your life story to whoever you chose to share it with (that’s key). So I can completely see why you would want to have something so exciting on there! I would want to as well.

That said, as first poster said, I know a few people who have/have had fertility issues and they’ve found seeing scan photos on social media with excited captions extremely difficult so might be something to be aware of.

Raver84 · 28/09/2018 13:45

No chance. I just told people as and when I saw them word soon get round to the right people. Having said that I've had last loss to didn't really want to announce anything.

SoyDora · 28/09/2018 13:46

I haven’t announced any of mine on social media, DH is pretty private (and doesn’t have FB), and I wasn’t overly fussed either way so just didn’t bother. I told everyone I thought would care anyway!
If he feels really strongly about it I wouldn’t do it to be honest, but then I’m not you!

Annalogy · 28/09/2018 13:46

Nuuupe. I'd wait until after the 20 week anomaly scan, personally.

Sunflowerr · 28/09/2018 13:50

I didn't want to do a social media announcement. All the important people knew. My thoughts were if we didn't care enough to message them separately then why do they need to know.

My main issue was that my husband has a huge huge amount of Facebook friends and the vast majority he hasn't seen for years and years. I keep my friends list smaller.

In the end he pouted that much that he won and the inevitable hundreds of likes and comments appeared which is nice, but I hate feeling like getting that attention made the pregnancy somehow more exciting for my husband, it should be exciting enough on its own without the attention seeking.

redlittlesquirrel · 28/09/2018 13:52

I think it depends on who is on your Facebook.

I only have people I know in real life on mine, however, I know people who will add pretty much anyone, so I could understand him not wanting a bunch of strangers to know, if you had a lot of people on there that you didn't actually know in real life. If it's just your friends on there, surely they will know anyway (if not now, then soon) so it shouldn't be a problem.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/09/2018 13:55

If all your real friends and family know why do you want to do the fb announcement?

Celebelly · 28/09/2018 14:01

I did a FB announcement on my page and tagged DP as it was the easiest way to let people know other than immediate family. I was also going to a big event with a lot of people who are on my FB and wanted to avoid any awkward 'is she pregnant or just fat' situations or having to tell each one individually over the whole weekend. DP has a huge extended family too, and it just wasn't feasible to let everyone know individually.

I've posted once and not mentioned it again. I'm really aware of people who might be struggling with infertility etc. but there's also a balance there about being happy and excited and wanting to share with your friends. So I did the announcement post and then I haven't posted anything else pregnancy-related since and probably won't until the birth.

stepmummamumma · 28/09/2018 14:19

I'm with your husband personally. I find it really off putting when people put their scan pictures up on Facebook. Is nothing sacred anymore?

MummaSabine · 28/09/2018 14:22

It's not really to do with pregnancy but its about parents oversharing on social media and how when the DD/DS grow up they might resent you giving up their digital privacy.

digit.fyi/parents-regret-oversharing-on-social-media/

Personally I was disappointed to learn about my cousin's DW most recent pregnancy via social media. He called to apologise, she always overshares on social media since baby no1 arrived. First baby's every single moment is on the internet, nude bath ones too.

You just don't know what kind of creeps on the internet are seeing these pics despite privacy settings.

Spanglylycra · 28/09/2018 14:25

I told the important people in person and then put an announcement on Facebook just "Spangly and Mr Spangly are having a baby!" Nothing gushing and no scan photo as that was too personal to me, maybe he'd be ok without photo?

Pebblespony · 28/09/2018 14:25

A line saying you're pregnant is grand bit scan pictures is a bit much.

Pebblespony · 28/09/2018 14:25

*but

londonliv · 28/09/2018 14:28

I personally wouldn't, or at least not until much later on in the pregnancy. Partly because someone very close to me had problems turn up when she had her 20 week scan & then lost the baby. Her pregnancy had been announced over FB & the profile pic was the 12 week scan of the baby so it was incredibly hard for her to then have to delete it & tell people what had happened.
This time round I haven't told anyone apart from people we have seen & there is one photo of me pregnant online but it is not obvious at all as I'm just a bit superstitious & don't want to make any big announcements until I know she is here safe & sound.

Brian9600 · 28/09/2018 14:35

I think it’s a bit tacky to announce on SM. Better to tell people in person.

Original poster
Familyfeud22 · 28/09/2018 14:56

I've only got people on FB that I know in real life, old friends and colleagues etc. No strangers.
I guess I'm just so excited and want to share it with anyone who will listen!
A work colleague had a still birth recently quite late into her pregnancy, and although not the same thing, I did hate seeing pregnancy announcements after a previous miscarriage I had, so it's a good point about other people.

Both me and DH don't want photos of our child on facebook/social media once it's born. SIL shares absolutely everything on there, every single photo she takes of her kids are on fb and that's really not our thing!

So I do see DH's point, I'm just trying to rein in the excitement!
Thanks for all your points/opinions Smile

OP posts:
Haireverywhere · 28/09/2018 14:59

I personally wouldn't because I think it is cringe/tacky.