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To want to announce pregnancy on social media?

75 replies

Familyfeud22 · 28/09/2018 13:34

Me and DH had 12 week scan yesterday, all looking great. Close family and friends know already, but I was really looking forward to putting a picture on fb announcing it!
DH straight away said I shouldn't because he doesn't 'want everyone knowing our business.' He's more than happy for close friends and family to know, but just doesn't want it on Facebook.

I think I might be being a bit unreasonable, as anyone that matters already knows, I just can't help feeling disappointed that I can't just share if with anyone and everyone else.

Do I just accept the fact of not sharing my pregnancy on fb, or is DH being unreasonable in saying I shouldn't?

Did anyone not announce on social media for the same reasons?

OP posts:

Rebecca36 · 29/09/2018 01:26

Don't share your personal stuff on social media. What's the point? Just tell people whom you value as and when you feel it is appropriate.

Congratulations by the way!


Ithinkthatsenough · 29/09/2018 07:01

A Fb “friend” of mine puts everything on fb about her PFB DD, pics of her in the supemarket, for no reason other than she “looks cute” or “she is such a good girl”
Its humblebragging and a wayfor her to feel better and get othe people’s approval. Ive unfollowed her now as i just wasnt interested
Announced pg at 8 weeks on fb as someone else she knew had...
Unfortunately lost that baby, but then put long detailed posts about the mc, how much bleeding and how grateful she was for the support from her 2 year old daughter 🤯
Pg again, i know she was advised not to announce again this time and just wait, but no, attention must come first!!
Drives me nuts.
I havent with any of my pregnancies and losing one privately was enough let alone the whole of fucking facebook knowing!
Im pg now... wont say anything until baby is here safely!!


HerSymphonyAndSong · 29/09/2018 07:08

The only thing I have done publicly on Facebook is change my profile picture to one of me and my son, and that was on a setting that didn’t create a post in people’s timelines. No announcements of pregnancy and birth. H was the same

I’m concerned about my own and my son’s privacy online and I only use Facebook for private group chats


HerSymphonyAndSong · 29/09/2018 07:10

“Personally I was disappointed to learn about my cousin's DW most recent pregnancy via social media. He called to apologise”

I can’t imagine feeling this strongly about learning of a pregnancy from a cousin via social media!


runsmidgeOMG · 29/09/2018 07:31

We had been TTC for 3.5 years and were an appointment short of starting IVF when we found out about DD. I announced it on FB because I wanted to shout it from the hill tops. We're struggling to conceive again so will be very excited if/when the time comes to announce.
I'm so sorry for any one who's suffered MC or TTC. I've felt the heartbreak whenever someone posts an announcement. Selfishly I felt it was "my turn" to experience the excitement of announcing our news after so long.


MoonageDaydreamz · 29/09/2018 07:55

I didnt announce my pregnancies on FB as I thought about how I would then feel if I had a miscarriage or a stillborn or a very ill child that ended up in NICU.

If you also feel comfortable with making those sort of announcements then fine, but I'd refrain if you don't.

I also think if your dh doesn't want to then you can't, you both should agree on that.


MarthaArthur · 29/09/2018 08:13

Classic example of MN not understanding how facebook works. Its literally a platform designed to show your life events to people you dont see everyday. Bit pointless to have facebook and not share. Also its your pregnancy op put the announcement/scan on fb if you want. The compromise would be not to tag him but he cant control how you use sm. Congratulations.


VickieCherry · 29/09/2018 08:18

You don't have to share everything to Facebook. People saying it's pointless having it if you don't share life events, do you share all the bad stuff that happens too? Hmm

I wouldn't. I would feel uncomfortable with the attention and worried about how to deal with it if something happened to the pregnancy. I know people who've had still births and children die very young. It's up to you how much you share about your life and when.


TeacupTattoo · 29/09/2018 08:21

Your FB is yours, put this life-news on if you want! He doesn't have to do the same. I don't use social media but my husband does - I wouldn't dream of telling him what he can and can't share. He loves putting up pregnancy news/birth pics and so on, I'm a very private person so don't. None of it has to be an issue. Congratulations!


SoyDora · 29/09/2018 08:29

Bit pointless to have facebook and not share

Of course it isn’t pointless, what a bizarre thing to say. I use Facebook to communicate with a private group related to a hobby, to get updates on my children’s groups/activities, to find out about PTA things going on at my DC’s school... this is the platform they use. I share maybe one or two things a year but still manage to get use out of it.


PurpleDaisies · 29/09/2018 09:23

Announced pg at 8 weeks on fb as someone else she knew had...
Unfortunately lost that baby, but then put long detailed posts about the mc, how much bleeding and how grateful she was for the support from her 2 year old daughter

Pg again, i know she was advised not to announce again this time and just wait, but no, attention must come first!!

Or she was just excited and wanted to share that. Hmm

It sounds like you just don’t like the woman. Miscarriages shouldn’t have glasses be private or shameful. I agree posting a lot about graphic details is a bit ott but since 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage it would be easier if in general people were more willing to talk about it publicly. Why are you friends with her?


PurpleDaisies · 29/09/2018 09:25

runsmidgeOMG nothing wrong with saying you’re pregnant on Facebook. Presumably you didn’t put a scan picture up?


WonderTweek · 29/09/2018 09:45

I quit Facebook the day I got bad news at my 12-week scan. I found myself thinking “what on Earth am I going to tell Facebook?!” and realised that I don’t need to tell Facebook shit if I don’t want to. 😂I got off it for good and have since been happier not having to see everyone’s business. I have my close friends and family and if there is something I want them to know, I’ll tell them.

Having said that though, I get that people like Facebook and get excited about sharing big news, and it’s entirely up to you what you do with yours. If your husband is really against sharing, could you compromise somehow and just do a brief status update and leave photos etc out?


marmaladejar · 29/09/2018 09:46

Another Facebook hack - don't know why people still post personal stuff on these sites!


cactusplant · 29/09/2018 10:00

I'm 15 weeks. I use Facebook and Instagram daily but wouldn't even contemplate announcing my pregnancy on there.
Everybody has their own personal choices to make. If dh went against me and announced it to all on Facebook I'd be fuming as I also feel it's our business and everyone I wanted to tell already knows.


runsmidgeOMG · 29/09/2018 10:07


I did. It genuinely didn't occur to me not to, due to the previously mentioned long wait. I'll think about it next time BUT it's taking time again (2 years and counting) I know I should count my blessings that I have my DD and didn't go through a MC or IVF but at the same time when/if I actually manage to conceive it'll take everything not to tell everyone again. I'll probs look at better less "in your face " pics then the scan one though.


PurpleDaisies · 29/09/2018 10:10

I did. It genuinely didn't occur to me not to, due to the previously mentioned long wait.

Did you not find seeing scan photos hard when you were trying to conceive? Confused

As I said before, nothing wrong with posting that you’re pregnant but just don’t put scan pictures on. There’s no need.


SomeKnobend · 29/09/2018 10:20

He's being odd. Who is he trying to hide it from, and why? If he doesn't want it on his page that's fine, but he's being very unreasonable to try to tell you what you can and can't post on yours, especially when it's this exciting! Congratulations!


Pebblespony · 29/09/2018 10:25

He's not bring odd at all. He's entitled to a private life. Just because you have Facebook doesn't mean you HAVE to use it. We didnt announce ours on fb. We're not hiding anything.


LibraryLurker · 29/09/2018 10:29

Congratulations. I personally think it is a bit too soon. Wait until at least the 20 week scan and then have another chat with DH. If he is still so opposed then I think you should respect his view. Now that fb has been around for a while, people are beginning to find posts they wish they hadn't posted so I think that for something so personal it is best to be onside with your DH. But best wishes for this exciting time of your lives together.


Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 29/09/2018 10:31

I have never put either of mine on social media.

It's lovely that the whole world would know, but what if something went wrong?

I girl I went to school with did this and then sadly lost her baby at 20 weeks. When it got to what would have been her due date, she had people writing in her Facebook "can't wait to meet little one" as she hadn't explained what had happened and it made her feel awful.


Sunflowerr · 29/09/2018 10:33

I disagree that OP can put whatever she likes on her own Facebook. This isn't just her news, it's his too. If it was something purely related to her then fair enough but this isn't and I don't think he's odd or unusual to not want to share.


tillytrotter1 · 29/09/2018 10:34

If your family and friends know already what's the point of going onto social media and telling a load of people you couldn't be bothered to tell personally? Social media announcements scream 'tacky!


runsmidgeOMG · 29/09/2018 10:37

@PurpleDaisies no harder than receiving the news that yet another person was pregnant and I wasn't. I didn't have a particular adversity to them but understand how some people might


CheekyRedhead · 29/09/2018 10:44

One of the reasons I came off Facebook was the constant attention seeking.
Scan photos are up there with the worst. You skint know how things like that affect people. Share your scan on what's app to your actual friends not Facebook full of old friends and colleagues you probably don't even speak to

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