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To want to announce pregnancy on social media?

75 replies

Familyfeud22 · 28/09/2018 13:34

Me and DH had 12 week scan yesterday, all looking great. Close family and friends know already, but I was really looking forward to putting a picture on fb announcing it!
DH straight away said I shouldn't because he doesn't 'want everyone knowing our business.' He's more than happy for close friends and family to know, but just doesn't want it on Facebook.

I think I might be being a bit unreasonable, as anyone that matters already knows, I just can't help feeling disappointed that I can't just share if with anyone and everyone else.

Do I just accept the fact of not sharing my pregnancy on fb, or is DH being unreasonable in saying I shouldn't?

Did anyone not announce on social media for the same reasons?

OP posts:

DonnaDarko · 28/09/2018 15:02

Compromise and announce around 20 weeks? We waited until the 20 week scan before announcing.


OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/09/2018 15:15

Would a compromise be your scan pic on Whattsap?


Lazypuppy · 28/09/2018 15:30

I couldn't wait to announce my pregnancy on fb, but i'm also one of those people who puts loads of pictures etc up.

I think if you don't want pictures on social media when baby is born, you shouldn't announce on fb as otherwise people may think you are happy for them to also upload


Puggles123 · 28/09/2018 15:33

Can you set up a WhatsApp group or something for your close friends and show them the scan and can have discussions etc? I get the fb thing, me and my OH agree though that once it’s out there it’s out there- sucks you’re not on the same page, but maybe he will change his mind down the line.


Firstbornunicorn · 28/09/2018 16:00

I thought I would want to announce it on Facebook, but now I actually have a scan in hand, I'm feeling a bit squeamish about all and sundry seeing the inside of my uterus!! 😂


dinkydonky · 28/09/2018 17:08

Isn't the point of facebook basically so that you can update your wider social circle on whats going on in your life? And see what they are up to.

Obviously I know not everyone uses it as such (I only really use it for fb groups and to organise events), but if you do post statuses about your life, holidays etc, I would find it quite weird if you didn't announce it at some point.

Not least because I've been in the awkward situation of bumping into someone who I hadn't realised was pregnant, she didnt mention it (presumably because it was pretty obvious) and I was too scared to congratulate her just in case she wasn't actually pregnant Grin


bridgetreilly · 28/09/2018 17:10

So long as you make sure it's a friends' only post, I think it's fine, but I also think that you both need to be okay with it.


bridgetreilly · 28/09/2018 17:12

I thought I would want to announce it on Facebook, but now I actually have a scan in hand, I'm feeling a bit squeamish about all and sundry seeing the inside of my uterus!

You can announce without sharing the picture!


WeeklyWarrior · 28/09/2018 17:13

I've never posted a scan photo... I don't have Facebook but do have Instagram. I did eventually post a photo of me with a bump at about 24 weeks. Never made an announcement. I was clearly pregnant and people commented asking.

Never understood the need to announce a pregnancy at 12 weeks. It's so early and you haven't even had the anomaly scan yet.

I would just text people you care about. Send a whatsapp photo etc. What's the difference other than you don't get the 'likes'? People still know you're pregnant? Or do you want EVERYONE to know including your acquaintances? If so, why?


PurpleDaisies · 28/09/2018 17:16

Scan photos are really hard for people with trouble conceiving. If you want to post, that’s absolutely fine but it would be kind not to but the photo up.


ilooovechristmas · 28/09/2018 17:38

If DH doesn't want you to then don't, there's no need to. Plus it's amazing how much people really want to know your business when you don't put much on SM


SoozC · 28/09/2018 17:41

I announced to a small group of close friends/family on FB at 12 weeks as an easy way to let them know (changed privacy) as I'd had a mc last year so wanted to share the positivity. The 12-week scan was basically my mc due date so seemed special to announce.

But since then, no scan photos have gone up, no status updates and no bump photos. I update my closest few friends and relatives through WhatsApp or email. Everyone else can just wait until he's born (not that they're waiting, I'm sure they couldn't really care less!).

I did the same with my wedding. I like the idea that FB don't have access to every part of my life.


NameChange0000 · 28/09/2018 17:53

Me and my husband never announced my pregnancy at all until he was about 2 months old! My close family and friends knew of course.


HolesinTheSoles · 28/09/2018 17:57

Who is on your Facebook that he wouldn't want to know? Is it just because it's early days or he doesn't want them knowing in general? I don't post every detail on Facebook but I wouldn't be Facebook friends with someone if I didn't have enough interest in them to be happy to know they were having a baby.


sexnotgender · 28/09/2018 17:59

I’ve not announced my pregnancy on SM.

People who need to know are told as and when I see them.

I’m not an overly sharing type person on SM anyway.


IncyWincyGrownUp · 28/09/2018 18:24

I’m one of the ones who sees it as a slightly odd thing to do, so I’d be siding with your husband on this one.


polkadotpixie · 28/09/2018 18:37

I just posted minimally on FB

I announced at about 23 weeks when it was obvious as I'm quite shy and would be embarrassed if I bumped into someone and they didn't know and had to ask, although our family and most of our closer friends knew previously

I also posted his birth announcement and a couple of photos since he was born but I didn't do any bump photos or pregnancy updates as I have some friends with fertility issues and didn't want to upset anyone


ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 28/09/2018 18:45

I think if your DH isn’t happy about it then you need to respect his wishes. We didn’t announce our first pregnancy on FB and won’t this time but it made it on there eventually anyway (pictures of me at family parties with a bump gave it away!). We didn’t as we know lots of people who have had late losses etc, unfortunately pregnant doesn’t always mean healthy baby in my experience so I wouldn’t want the whole of Facebook to know my business, but that’s just me and I can understand why other people want to and I do think it’s nice to see them!


WeeBeasties · 28/09/2018 18:47

I'm 6 months pregnant and haven't announced on Facebook because I'm miserable and think it's tacky.

One upside is that I've really enjoyed the look of surprise on people's faces when I've bumped into them and they see I have a bump. Has resulted in some lovely exchanges that IMO are better than a 'like' and a comment. I'm glad to have not missed out on them.


Bear2014 · 28/09/2018 18:53

We announced on Facebook but not until 20 weeks and not with a scan picture. With our first we posted a picture of a little babygro, which was our first baby purchase.


WraithBabe · 28/09/2018 19:26

Just don't put a scan photo up, on its own, no caption, no explanation, leaving people to work out that it's a scan and that must mean you're pregnant. When I was TTC (with great difficulty, for a long time) a couple of people on my FB timeline did that and I can't quite explain why but I found it really upsetting, it seemed really attention-seeking and faux-coy. A message saying 'we're having a baby' would have been easier to take.


Pomfluff · 28/09/2018 22:58

I didn't announce mine on social media because I had 2 mcs two years ago and felt really gutted by all the FB/Instagram posts of ultrasound pics and baby bumps. Of course, one can argue that everyone is entitled to "share their happiness" but there is always something a teeny bit humblebraggy and curated about social media. Not sharing my pregnancy didn't diminish my joy in slightest bit...I simply told everyone I was close to whenever we happened to chat over messenger/phone or in person.

I have at least 4-5 fairly close friends (early-mid 30s) who didn't post anything on social media about pregnancy, birth or baby pictures. Judging by their profile you would never even know they were mums. Personally that's almost too much discretion for me, and I think I will most likely make a birth announcement or at least post a photo after baby is here ;)!


Zigazagazoo · 28/09/2018 23:09

We didn’t share our pregnancy news on SM. Dd is now 4 months and still nobody on my SM is knows. I prefer it this way. I was anxious as I’ve had a mmc at 12 weeks and difficult news at my 20 week scan (which turned out to be one massive mistake, thank goodness). One of my oldest friends is also struggling with infertility and pregnancy announcements must be a stinger.


Pomfluff · 28/09/2018 23:23

@PurpleDaisies @WraithBabe
Agree, scan photos are the most difficult to deal with! Especially ones where you can see the side profile of a baby's face. I'm not even sure why that hits so hard...maybe because the only picture I had of my baby from the MC was at 7 weeks so it still resembled a gummy bear/tadpole and seeing other people's scans was a constant reminder that mine never made it to the point of looking like a tiny person.


Firstbornunicorn · 29/09/2018 01:05

@bridgetreilly that's true. I suppose I just always imagined that's what I'd do 😂

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