AIBU to be fed up with OPs who start a thread then leave us hanging?

[Alleycat1]

Some threads go on for pages. People offer helpful advice but although the OP might engage for a while then disappears from the thread. So, did she LTB, did she call out MIL, was the parking problem resolved, ????? etc.etc. It drives me up the wall. Is it just me or AIBU?

No, it really annoys me too.

It's not like I want constant reports from the OP as some threads are indeed waaaay too long, but just nothing after a while is just irritating. However, I suppose we just have to suck it up as they don't owe us an update. It's good manners though

What I don't think is the hounding and flaming some OP's get (really abusive stuff) and then people are surprised when they completely disappear.

Also, I'm often following a thread,hundreds of posts, I'm waiting fir an update and go to work only to come home and find the thread us deleted.

I hate it on threads when people say ‘make sure you come back and update us OP’. They don’t owe us an explanation of how things turned out.

There are always going to be threads where you wonder what happened. Sometimes people disappear to protect their privacy and that's understandable. The outcome of a situation can be outing itself.

I often wonder about people who've posted. There are a couple from over the summer that I would love to know the outcome of but probably never will.

I wish that the op’s comments were highlighted or something so when scrolling through pages and pages of replies the op’s responses stand out.

Where is op gone

I completely understand posters leaving the thread if they are being abused or are afraid they are close to being outed. When other posters have offered advice and been pleasant though you would think it was good manners to give an update. I know we are not owed an update but it feels a bit like when you have read most of a book only to find the last chapter missing.

Come back and update us

Hope you’re ok opx

I know what you mean.

I'd live the MIL to come back and say what's wrong with her wedding outfit after talking to her DS yesterday.

I think sometimes when the OP is in a really serious situation it would be nice to find out what happens. I have found some threads on here genuinely quite upsetting over the years.

... not to say I’m owed an answer of course. But you kind of hope eventually they’d come back and tell us they’re safe.

There's one in particular I'd love to know the outcome of but the thread was deleted as it was identifying. Basically the OP had a disciplinary hearing coming up for something she had done at work (signed a document stating the time a person worked there without filling in the actual dates and person filled in incorrect dates themselves). I really hoped she would have had a positive outcome as I really think she was just a genuine trusting soul and the other person massively took advantage and potentially cost the OP her job. Felt really sorry for the OP.

Fatasfook They're highlighted on mine, in green.

It depends if it was a lightheaerted-ish thread, eg opening a safe, noises in the roof, CF neighbours etc.

If it is something in relationships, then i'd imagine they've got a lot of shit going on and updating a forum of hungry anonymous people is not going to ve a priority.

Fatasfook you can change the colour of all OP posts so they are easy to read,
on my MN they are all purple. You'll have to hunt around to find out how to, i'm on my mobile and cannot remember what to click! But you can definitely change them

Another one here who doesn't think OPs owe us updates - though it's nice when they feel able to

BTW I'm not trying to get this one deleted, but does anyone know what happened to the thread where a neighbour was sitting in the garden, showing his bits to the poster and her DD?

You can do that @Fatasfook I have the OP highlighted in green

OP, yes, it is annoying.
Other posters - I can see occasionally that there might be a reason, but most posters can come and say 'I'm leaving thread now because.......'

FingerLickinGod Well, in some cases yeah, they kinda do. It's just good manners surely to give some kind of outcome especially on a long, involved thread where people have engaged with them and offered advice. The whole 'they've got better things to do, they don't owe us anything' after whatever fact doesn't apply when they choose to post the story in the first place and keep it going with constant subsequent posts. The least they can do is put up a short post saying how things turned out.

@Fatasfook
You can, they come up green as a default don’t they? Mine do anyway, maybe look in settings.

There was one thread recently where the op had experienced a miscarriage and came back to let us know she was pregnant again and said thanks for the support. That was lovely.

Whoops should have refreshed before posting.

@Fatasfook You can set colours for your posts and the op's posts in your settings.

FingerLickinGod Exactly!

I worry about some of the people who are unwell or their children are, I'd like to know if they are okay but appreciate we are probably the last thing on their minds.

Sometimes the OP gets so much abuse that they don't bother coming back to take more!

I think it's fair enough. They've asked for advice and got it. I don't think they owe us a follow up to satisfy our nosiness (although I'm always glad to have one!).