Drunk Husband....

[CornishMumma01]

Mummies I need your advise.

We went over to FIL house for BBQ this evening. DH always drinks when we go out so I am left driving (I'm not a big drinker anyway but it would be nice to be asked!). We arrived at 6pm ish and DH wouldn't stop drinking and talking (most people had left, gone to bed or fallen asleep listening to him) and we finally left at about 3AM!!! We have a 12 week old DD to think about.

All he did the whole night was moan about me, the baby, the house. We said I sit around on my fat ass watching tv all day amongst other things. I could see people thinking he's being out of order but he get angry when he's drunk.

We finally got home he collapsed on the sofa but on top of DH makeshift bed and my bed (we sleep in the sofa so he can get a good nights sleep for work). I asked him to move, I admit I was altogether nice about it as I was pissed off at home while I had to bring in the baby in her car seat, the bag, gifts from family friends,l and see to the dogs. He refused to move slurring some more insults at me. I eventually man handled him off the sofa but he was now on the floor. He was throwing his arms around and whacked me glasses off my face which landed in his eye. OMG he started getting shitting saying I punched him in the face and told me if I touched him he'd 'launch me across the room'. More insults were thrown in too.

I've not gone upstairs to sleep with DD and the dogs (as they ran off scared) and left him downstairs where I can hear him throwing stuff. I'm sure I'll have to make sure the house is tidy for tomorrow when his mum turns up! DD also has her jabs in the morning at 8:50

What should I do in the morning? I'm so kissed off with him but I know how much he turns arguments around and I am never allowed to be angry and I can feel it bubbling it inside me after every argument. 12 years of holding it in is going to turn me mental

X

I’ve looked at your other threads. He is a horribly abusive man and for you and your DD’s sake you need to make plans to leave. Your DD needs to be safe.

Is this the first time he's done this or has he done it regularly for the past 12 years. Hope you are ok this morning

Hope you're ok OP and not engaged in a post row clean up and apology sorry sorry it was the drink I 'll change I love you it's all the pressure situation.
Don't soften when you see him sick and helpless and hungover. He's not a stupid teenager. He has a family. It will happen again and again as soon as there's any pressure.
Please leave

OP, your husband is an absolute horror show who will sap you of life and poison your child's upbringing. You MUST MUST MUST leave him. You and your baby need to start again without him. Please don't put up with the rotten life he's giving you and for god's sake DO NOT conceive a second child with him.

Why in holy fuck’s name have you had one child with him never mind when she is twelve weeks old consider another????

Stop enabling his cruelty, his self absorption, his drinking, his general hideousness and get out of Dodge.

Don’t bring up your baby in this horror show.

Police. This is appalling behaviour. Protect you and your baby x

The problem is I doubt no amount of strangers online telling her to leave will actually make a difference, although I hope I'm wrong. It's all so sad and predictable.

My mum finally snapped after 10 years with an abusive man and stabbed him... she nearly ended up going to prison. Do what you know what you need to do and leave him, believe me, your child won't thank you for letting her grow up in an abusive environment and will think it's normal for people to behave this way in a relationship.

He sounds very abusive. Whether he's been violent in the past or not. Get your DC out of that horrible situation and just think about your baby and yourself x

I know AS isn't considered the done thing but ........
OP is a Property Lawyer (according to one thread)
And wants 'support' from other posters not to be told that her DH is a Grade A Arse (leaving the baby crying with hunger to 'spite' her)

As you haven't been back yet Cornish , putting your professional hat on ( I'm sure your training would've covered general law) just what would you advice your best friend to do if she was you?

Then follow that advice !

I have just read your other threads.

This is not how men normally behave and is something you should put up with.

He is not being supportive, he Is abusing you.

There is lots of advice on how to leave am abusive relationship and you need to read it and try to find a way out.

This man doesn't love you, he Is a selfish pig and from your other thread not fit to be a father. You don't let a 12 week old cry it out. Crying is how they communicate. You also don't expect your wife to sleep downstairs. He should be on the sofa if he needs the sleep that much... or move out.

You may be on maternity but being new mummy is emotionally and physically exhausting. And not only are you learning how to be a mum and your baby you are also having to think about and do everything else.

Your relationship is not equal, he Is not a fit father, he is a bastard and a complete cock.

Please take your baby and get out.

Why do you think the OP isn't British happened? I cannot see anything in her post that suggests this? Just curious.

@EdisonLightBulb

The way she types suggests, to me, that English isn't her first language so I thought if this was the case she may feel trapped with no support around her. Maybe she doesn't have anywhere else to go so fels she has to put up with whatever he does.

Hi OP, please come back and let us know you are ok

Separation and divorce can be painful and hard. It’s short lived though. The alternative is years and years of pain with this man. He will never change and your child will grow up as miserable as you are. Please for the sake of your child talk to someone who can help you leave this

Why are his family content to sit there and watch him get drunk and insult you?

Why aren't you preparing to leave him?

From the tone of the OP, it seems she knows his behaviour is bad but doesn’t think it’s ‘that bad’. I don’t think she’s ready to leave him. That poor child (and the predictable sibling) is going to have a hard life.

Presumably OP has brushed all this under the carpet

You know exactly what to do OP. You have the choice here and the only sensible decision, for you and your DC, is to LTB. He's an abusive " C U Next Tuesday" and your child has to endure that the whole time you stay in that house. Please leave him, you deserve better - more importantly, your daughter deserves better - and eventually he will actually hit you.

Op, are you saying you sleep on the sofa whilst he has rhe bed so he can get a good nights sleep for work? It's not very clear from your op.

OP you need to leave. You may not be ready for it now. But plan it: Picture how you want your life to look without him, then get your ducks in a row. Set a date to tell him you’re leaving him.
His behaviour is that bad.
You do not have to put up with it.
You deserve better. Your child deserves better. You will be far happier when you leave.

1- he assaulted you
2- call the police
3- he is a horrible horrible horrible human being

Call someone to come get you - I.e friends / parents you can turn to.

DO NOT IGNORE THIS OP

OP - I understand you’re probably very scared and frightened. . There is a lot of good advice on here. Please just let us know you’re ok. Just even a quick ‘I’m ok’. I’m sure there’s all sorts of emotions flying around your head at the moment. If you don’t feel strong enough to post anymore then don’t feel you have to but please just let us know you’re ok xx

Don't even think of having another baby with this man!

OP, it's the morning now, so things may not seem as bad, dramatic, scary etc as they were last night, but don't push away the reality of the situation.
He is a dangerous man and you need to leave and give your baby a better life.

OP I have never said LTB on any thread. You need to LTB.