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WIBU to 'remind' my sibling that my dd's birthday is approaching?

102 replies

Toffeebanoffee · 27/09/2018 19:21

For the last few years my brother has occasionally 'forgotten' to acknowledge my dd's birthdays (young teenagers) and I haven't said anything to him.
Firstly, I don't expect presents for them (neither do my dd's), but a card would be appreciative! .... I feel annoyed for my dd's (although I don't let on to them) when yet again 'Uncle Tom' hasn't sent them birthday wishes, as I know they feel as if he's not bothered and as if it's a case of out of sight out of mind. (He lives a distance away from us, so we don't see each other often)

What really annoys me is the fact that he has three young dd's with his wife, and I always make sure I send my niece's cards and presents without fail.
My friend suggested I don't send anything to his dc's, and treat his children the same, but I wouldn't dream of leaving his girls out and I continue to make an effort for them.

It's my dd's birthday in a fortnight and I'm considering 'reminding' my db and his wife that it's their niece's birthday and that she'd appreciate a card.
I just don't want him to 'forget' again and make dd feel let down by her Uncle. Should I leave it and say nothing or let him know?

OP posts:

headinhands · 01/10/2018 15:43

sis in law accepts gifts for her children from me, so I would say it should also be down to her to make an effort for my dc's!

And for the umpteenth time she doesn't see it the same way. She isn't like you. She's different. Pretty much accept or stop because it's like you're giving yourself repeated opportunities to feel cross??


TheDowagerCuntess · 01/10/2018 18:36

sis in law accepts gifts for her children from me, so I would say it should also be down to her to make an effort for my dc's!

I really get your frustration / disappointment, but it's not her job to do this. It's your brother's.

Example - DB is gay. Putting aside that he doesn't have any kids, and so relentlessly buys presents for my DC without getting the same back (I always buy him one) .... I wouldn't expect his partner to do the present buying.

When you look at it from a same-sex relationship viewpoint, you realise how silly it is. It really isn't fair to expect your SIL to do the remembering and buying - just because she's the woman.

The onus is on your brother, annoying as that may be.

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