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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this woman could have let me go ahead

84 replies

dancinginthehall · 27/09/2018 11:40

I went to the ATM this morning. There was a woman standing in front of it rummaging in her bag for her purse, while I stood behind waiting. She then proceeded to do several different transactions, putting in and out different cards while I stood there and a queue built up.

AIBU to think she could have let me go ahead? I would have had my money withdrawn by the time she found her purse, instead I was standing there for ages between the whole faff.

Yes I do have other things to worry about, but this just struck me as a bit self absorbed.

OP posts:
LemonysSnicket · 27/09/2018 12:22

Why? She had transactions to do. She doesn't know your intention.
Go find another ATM or wait, god you're entitled. YABU

HolesinTheSoles · 27/09/2018 12:22

My bag is full of all sorts but I can fish my keys/phone/purse out in less than 5 seconds.

Good for you I can't. I've panicked that I've lost my purse/phone/keys on numerous occasions because it takes me so long to find it. The person finding ages looking for their purse at the front of the queue is a well known phenomena so obviously does happen even if it doesn't happen to you.

Seriously you're on to a loser here. The fact is if you get to the front of a queue and then start faffing around trying to find your purse it's going to annoy people so why not just be polite and not do it? It's really not a contentious issue.

That said I wouldn't do anything about someone faffing around (apart from role my eyes internally if I'm trying to catch a train etc.). Everyone has off days and it's not a huge deal.

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 27/09/2018 12:23

Once I let someone with one item go in front of me in the supermarket. I didn't have loads of stuff but enough to make it worthwhile them going ahead of me. They then proceeded to take an item out of their bag for a refund which took bloody ages. I was fuming Angry

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/09/2018 12:23

I don't faff. But I don't get annoyed by people looking for a purse then doing multiple transactions at the ATM. We are talking about a couple of minutes tops of waiting.

LeftRightCentre · 27/09/2018 12:25

Of course she shouldn't have. She has no idea what you were there to do.

Fabricwitch · 27/09/2018 12:26

She shouldn't have let you go just because she had a few things to do, and you potentially only one.
But she shouldn't have blocked the ATM while rumaging in her purse, I've stood aside in similar situations.

Madamefidolia · 27/09/2018 12:27

YANBU. I would never stand rooting around for my purse in front of the machine if someone was waiting behind me. Especially if I knew I was going to be doing several transactions.

I don’t know why some posters are being so rude and aggressive. Are they incapable of expressing their view calmly.

Also why do some posters assume that we all use AIBU to post about big important issues. For many of us it is the exact place to go to sound off about the minor but irritating everyday stuff.

Bloobs · 27/09/2018 12:32

This whole situation makes me furious (possibly unreasonably, menopausally furious tbf). It happens with ATMs, shops, ticket offices etc etc etc - just WHY and HOW can people take so fecking long?

Almost invariably, I'm queuing to do something that takes 30 secs max and yet there's someone in front who manages to spin it out to 10 minutes or more. WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

I don't ever say anything as presumably they can't help it, but - gah!

Bloobs · 27/09/2018 12:36

I think it especially bothers me because in any situation where I can get to an ATM, I'm probably running between work, school pickups, club drop offs, grabbing a quick bit of food shopping etc. Standing behind Mr or Ms Faffington at the ATM could cost me the time I was going to be able to pick up ingredients for tea or make me late for school bell.

That's not their fault but it does do my head in.

BlueberryPud · 27/09/2018 12:36

It can take me ages to find my purse

How big is your suitcase?

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 27/09/2018 12:41

I think you may just be my favourite CF of the day so far. Wait your turn like everyone else.

hmmwhatatodo · 27/09/2018 12:43

I let someone go in front of me at the supermarket asnshe onlynhad one thing, except she kept the item in her hand and then got busy on her phone so the cashier just started putting my stuff through and the woman only realised when I pointed it out to her. Duh.

Madamefidolia · 27/09/2018 12:50

What a ridiculous post thesnobbymiddleclassone.

CFery would have been demanding the woman let her go ahead, not silently wishing she had.

If you want to be spiteful at least use terms correctly.

Madamefidolia · 27/09/2018 12:52

Also, are all those of us who agree with the OP CFs as well.

SuburbanRhonda · 27/09/2018 12:54

Well your life is obviously terribly full and interesting Zoflora if you have time to post on threads that obviously bore you.

Says the person who complains about people wasting her precious time at the ATM, then spends time posting about it on the internet Grin

onalongsabbatical · 27/09/2018 12:54

There's a correct definition of CFery?
Is it in the Oxford Dictionary? Grin

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 27/09/2018 12:54

It's so cheeky to think she should be allowed to go in front as well as entitled!

Some people just take longer to do things and waiting politely is part of that. If she was in such a rush she could have gone to another cash point or a local store for cash back.

PhilomenaButterfly · 27/09/2018 12:55

The only ATM within less than a 20 minute walk round here doesn't show me my available balance, so it usually goes:

Check balance
Try and draw out £100
Try and draw out £90
.
.
.
Draw out £50.
If someone's behind me I'll stop after the first try, then try again after they've finished.

mangowango · 27/09/2018 12:57

I personally wouldn't queue up if I wasn't ready with my purse, but I also wouldn't get annoyed with someone in front of me doing that. Don't let it ruin your day Smile

ClothOnASloth · 27/09/2018 12:59

Thing is, she would still have needed to carry out those different transactions even if she'd had her purse ready. And those other people who came along after you would still have needed to use the ATM.

How many people should she have let go in front of her before she used the machine?

I'm a non-faffer but I think in this case the woman was right to take her turn first.

Breezebutter · 27/09/2018 13:03

If she wanted to get copious amounts of cash out from different cards she should have gone into her bank IMO

AnotherPidgey · 27/09/2018 13:18

I'm a very adept faffer, but would let someone go ahead of me if they are ready and I'm not.

JellyBears · 27/09/2018 13:18

Maybe having you breathing down her neck made her uncomfortable and nervous so it made her fumble about a bit.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/09/2018 13:32

WHY and HOW can people take so fecking long?

Physical disability
Hidden disability
Mental illness
Mental impairment
Additional needs
Cognitive Processing type (can’t think how to explain) - I am quick to process. Dh is not despite being highly intelligent
Personality
Etc etc

I am disabled and used to be incredibly speedy at everything. Not so now. I could well forget to take my purse out because simply being out in the world is such a difficult process for me. You don’t have to worry if someone talks to loudly or screams near your ear, trips you up or stops dead in front of you, you have to wait too long in a queue........ Any of these things and more could put me into overload and make me loose all energy - I have CFS / ME and sensitive to / sound / sudden movement as my body is constantly working at full capacity with no rest. Unlike yours. Please have a little more tolerance those, who are getting annoyed.

Satsumaeater · 27/09/2018 13:41

I think the point for me is getting money out of an ATM should be quick.

You expect to queue in the bank, because by definition you need it for the more complex transactions.

So I understand why people get annoyed when they can't go the ATM, get their cash, and go, but have to queue for ages. Fortunately where I live the high street has several cashpoints and everyone queues at the same one, so I just walk up the road to one which doesn't have anyone waiting.