To Be Gobsmacked By My Neighbour's Cheeky Fuckery?

[SunnyInGrimsby]

My elderly neighbour and friend sadly died recently and yesterday we attended her funeral.

She had no friends or relatives so the only attendees were her 4 neighbours – me and the other neighbours in her block.

I had offered to put on the wake at my flat afterwards and went to quite a bit of trouble – cleaning the flat, moving chairs in (it’s just been renovated and was empty – I live somewhere else at the moment). My ex-boyfriend gave up his Saturday to move furniture in (I thought more people would attend than actually did), I did a big shop and spent a few hours cleaning the flat in preparation.

I bought champagne, made cucumber sandwiches (quite a fiddle, involving peeling, slicing and salting cucumbers), gravadlax and smoked salmon sandwiches, tea, biscuits, champagne and what not. I made the sandwiches where I lived and transported them to the other flat along with glasses). I was honoured to do all this as my deceased neighbour was a dear friend and my flat was the nearest in the block to hers.

The short funeral was very moving and my neighbours and I enjoyed coming back to mine for champagne and sandwiches and had a good old reminisce for a few hours.

Later that evening I received an email from the neighbour who had arranged a small floral tribute stating that my share of it was £15 and added, `no rush’. He made no thanks of the efforts I had gone to.
I had spent 2-3 days in preparation and spent around £60 to £70 on food and drink (I splashed out on some new crockery in honour of the occasion).

AIBU for being thoroughly pissed off?

This neighbour has form for cheeky fuckery and I recently had to pay him £500 after I did work on my flat (shared party wall – although my flat is on the ground floor and his is 3 floors above on the opposite side – no other neighbours have reported any deteriorations or asked for money). I had offered to send a builder in to make good any cracks but he said he would prefer the money as he didn’t want to redecorate at the moment but would put it towards future redecs. I have visited his flat and it appeared to be in pristine order.

Just wanted to vent really. Grrr.

wtf! That's some cheeky fuckery

Send him his share of the itemised bill for the wake in return.

I wouldn't be rushing. Or sending any money at all.

Yes I’d send him a return bill

Why on earth did you give him money?!?!
No way would I have done that without a few quotes from builders that I had chosen first.
Send him a bill for the wake.

Yep return bill for £15 for his share of the wake

Tell him you’ll offset it against the cost of the wake food meaning he owes you £20

I can’t believe you coughed up £500 without asking to see pictures of the damage and a quote for repairs. People can only take the piss if you let them.

Ignore him that's ridiculous. Can't believe you have him £500 already too. Sorry you sound like a bit of a mug and he knows it.

I hope you plan to charge him for (a very inflated) food bill..... No rush!

Good idea! I may still have the supermarket shop receipt!
Honestly, people don't half try it on - especially if they think you can afford it and are a woman on your own!

Cheeky bastard and I would not have given him the money for his wall

Email him back with, "Glad you asked - the food and drink cost me £60. As there were four of us, I think we're quits. Thank you so much for arranging the flowers, they were lovely."

🤦🏻‍♀️

Maybe a quick text back along the lines of, "thanks so much for organising the flowers, I think everyone is appreciative of the effort we both put in with that and the wake. Anyway your share of the food etc is around £20 (pop up if you need an itemised bill) but I'm happy to call it a wash if you are. Thanks again, I think we gave x a good send off"

Or just. "fuck off CF, we both know I spent more than that on food for the wake. Also still waiting for you redecoration completion party from the rest of the money you screwed out of me"

Absolutely cheeky yes....but personally I would just pay immediately (assuming you can) as I wouldn’t want this to spoil the memories of your lovely neighbour who passed away or to spoil your memories of a good time reminiscing with your other neighbours.

I can’t believe you have started a thread huffing and puffing about the £15 but the £500 he ripped you off for is just an afterthought

Very odd

MrTrebus - unfortunately the party wall surveyor suggested this sum. Obviously I would not have paid it without it being `official'. There were no doubt some cracks/damage as there were before and after pictures. But it is my belief that cheeky fucker neighbour exaggerated things, worked the system - he is in insurance. Oddly enough, no other flats in the block (inc. those either side reported damages).

YANBU. He’s a CF.

However, this made me smile made cucumber sandwiches (quite a fiddle, involving peeling, slicing and salting cucumbers). It’s hardly a coulibiac ☺️

Sorry for your loss. It sucks to lose friends.

Later that evening I received an email from the neighbour who had arranged a small floral tribute stating that my share of it was £15 and added, `no rush’.

Reply:

"Hi Neighbour, £15? Can't remember agreeing to this? Can you forward the text or email where I agreed to pay toward the floral tribute? My bill for the wake will be coming out shortly."

I'd completely ignore his CF request. If he pushes it, I'd just tell him no as I paid for the wake.

Totally missing the point of the thread but I want to live where you do. A floral tribute for £60 and crockery and a champagne and smoked salmon do for 4/5 for a similar amount?

I agree with the text Ariadne suggests, setting your share of the flowers against his share of the Do.

& only send copy of bill obviously (ps & ask him for copy of bill for floral tribute!!)

Don't be silly, findingdotty. think you've found her

@Comeymemo, lol! but let me tell you, making cucumber sandwiches is no picnic. I googled it up beforehand as I wanted to get things just right - you are meant to peel, slice and salt the cucumbers and leave them to draw' on kitchen roll. Who knew? and only white pepper apparently as black pepper will overwhelm' things. and then there is getting the right kind of white bread and soft butter.

But I'm not complaining, honest. I don't regret the Herculean efforts involved but just staggered at request for money afterwards. (and really not about the money, it's the principle, innit).

Did you agree to contribute towards the flowers? If not, just say you didn’t agree to put to towards the flowers and by the way, his share of the wake is .. etc.