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Dad at nursary pick up/drop off

83 replies

Flowersandblack · 25/09/2018 21:52

Okay I don't want to sound like a dick but my dd started nursary at the beginning of the month. Hours at 12-3 monday-friday.

Another child started at the same time cute little kid but my god is her dad a entitled prick.

Every day when we get to the gate for pick up we are supposed to wait until a memeber of staff comes to open the gate or press the intercom to release the gate. I usually like to arrive 5 mins early to avoid the queue to collect dd and parking can be bad in the area.

Everyday no matter what time this dad gets there it could be 10 mins before or 2 mins before 3 he presses the button for attention and demands he collects his child there and then. If he is 2 mins before 3 this holds the rest of the children up being released as they have to get his child ready first and then he wants to stand in there and chat to the staff about his child's day so it's not even like he is in a rush so has to collect early he just does it.

On the drop off he pushes past parents who are their to collect their children from the morning session and yesterday he pushed passed me and demanded they do his other child's settling in session there and then despite it being schedualed in for 2pm (it was 12 o'clock a huge change over with children coming and going the staff were just sorting all these other children out) they tried to tell him no it had to be at 2 as all staff were busy with the other children and his child would need special attention they wouldn't be able to give until 2 once all the other children were settled for the afternoon he kept cutting them off saying no I think its fine to do it now.

I didn't see the outcome of what happened as another memeber of staff came and took my dd and said goodbye to me but aibu to be so sick of this shit already he's just a wanker refuses to wait with everyone else and definately won't stand in line for anything. I am 21 weeks pregnant so could be hormones but he really gives me the rage and I feel like I'm not far off saying something. I do think the nursary need to toughen up aswell though and tell him nursary finishes when it finishes and he is holding up all the other children and parents by expecting this special treatment every day.

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Flowersandblack · 26/09/2018 13:03

Regardless of sen there has to still be some rules and boundries in place. My own cousin dislocated a teachers jaw in school about 12 years ago this was at a mainstream school.. surely if you taught at a mainstream school this would be the very last thing you would expect to happen to you? My views on this may be different to others but having grown up closely with people with sen I've seen how dangerous it can be when rules and boundries are excused my aunt always pushed for more and more allowances to be made dispute our district council categorically telling her that her ds needed to be in a specialist school... guess what even after he did that to a teacher it was still another 2 years before my auntie decided to move him to a more suitable school and her reason for it was because the school were picking on him. I'm sorry but I disagree with that he didn't even get excluded for the incident.

OP posts:

Bekabeech · 26/09/2018 16:39

Regardless of sen there has to still be some rules and boundries in place. My own cousin dislocated a teachers jaw in school about 12 years ago this was at a mainstream school.. surely if you taught at a mainstream school this would be the very last thing you would expect to happen to you?
It shouldn't happen at any school. The key is getting to know the pupils and putting in place procedures and staff. By that I mean; I'm sure your cousin didn't just out of the blue just punch a teacher and dislocate their jaw. There would have been circumstances and behaviour before that that lead to the incident.
With flexibility your cousin could have be seen to be getting "stressed" and removed. Even better it could may well have been possible to predict that certain events would lead to "anxiety" or "stress" and these could have been allowed for - for example one of my DC used to get very anxious about loud noises, so they would "secretly" be warned when there was a fire practice going to happen.
Add to that interventions to develop strategies to enable the child (as they get older) to recognise and handle their own emotions - even if it is things like a "get out of the classroom card" which two of mine have had for different reasons.

The little boy at the school if he really can't cope with waiting - should have seperate collection arrangements, common ones are: being the first to go perhaps with Mum arriving 5 minutes early, being in the care of a TA who hands him directly to Mum, or Mum collecting him from the Office.

Life is not as black and white as you seem to think.
I have a number of excellent special schools near me. However they all specialise in certain kinds of children and needs. And to get into one you need to show that mainstream education has failed, which can take years.
I have know lots of children, some with quite complex needs thrive in mainstream. Even those who have ended up in special schools at secondary level have often coped fine at primary.
I am also old enough to have had friends who had relatively mild SN and ended up in special schools where they struggled to get even basic qualifications.


crimsonlake · 26/09/2018 16:46

The staff will need to be dealing with this, I certainly hope they are putting him in his place. Yes, every child is special, but no child is any more special than anyone else in a class.


Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 26/09/2018 16:55


Haha. That made me think of 'all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.' Which is probably this guys life philosophy.


Flowersandblack · 26/09/2018 17:08

No he did attack the woman out of the blue it was abolutely horrendous at the time I love my cousin he us very funny and loving but I could never excuse what he did there a lot of the problem was my aunt should slag the school and staff off infront of her children they had next to no respect for the people in charge of their education the school wasn't allowed to so much tell my cousin to come and sit down if he was running around the class room being disruptive because if my aunt got wind of him being told off in the slightest she went marching in the school screaming and shouting. A lot of other parents complained about my cousin at the time and I hate to admit it hut I agreed with each and every one. It was unfair.

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Flowersandblack · 26/09/2018 17:13

The boy can cope with waiting unless is mother is there watching on the days she is late you see the boy standing their with all the other children smiling and giggling as I say it's the mother that's the problem the school have told her and asked her to hold back until it's her ds turn to avoid the upset but also it gives him the chance to wait with his peers she makes sure she he spots her. He may not even have sen I just wasn't sure when I saw the reins.

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crimsonlake · 26/09/2018 17:38

True fiftyshades. As a supply teacher most Nurseries I have worked in the children are made to sit down on the carpet quietly and wait until they are called. This avoids a lot of disruption and is a safeguarding measure in case any child slips out, there is always a grown up sat with them making sure no one moves. Occasionally there is a problem with parents standing near windows or doors if they are allowed on the yard before the end of the day. Problem is always resolved by pulling the blinds down before home time so neither parent or child can see one another.


Needahairbrush · 26/09/2018 18:05

I would probably say really loudly to the staff in front of him ‘why is HE going first when we’ve been waiting longer?’ But I am a bit gobby, and this sort of ‘pushing in’ would annoy me no end.

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